Short notice? Or not?

[Anonymous]

While I disapprove of the rude tone taken in the previous two posts, I'm a NP who also never gives a reason when I cancel an appointment (same as a babysitting job) two weeks in advance. 24 hours notice? Absolutely I would explain. A few days out? It would depend on the circumstances and how good our relationship was, but maybe. Two weeks is outrageous. Do you apologize to your dentist when you cancel your appt two weeks early and explain you had to because you've been waiting for an OBGYN slot to open up and you have to prioritize that? No. We are modern, assertive women the same as you; we understand common courtesy and professional expectations AND we do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or apologizing all the time for setting reasonable boundaries in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Pp here who does expect an explanation if someone tells me they are taking a job and then cancels. You are right - my recourse would be to just not hire that person and if burned badly enough to let my neighbors know too if they asked about that sitter. I frankly am skeptical that finding an occasional sitter is all that hard though. (A great nanny - yes - but a date night sitter? I basically need someone capable of not frightening my kids in the 1 hr they are awake before lights out while the date night sitter comes. I just don't think it is all that rough a job or tough to find someone to do.

[Anonymous]

OP, it all depends on her reasoning. Did she give you a good reason? Or any reason?

Anyway, for her to give you a two week heads up is a really good notice and I think it was very courteous of her. This gives you plenty of time to find someone else. I am sure you can find another sitter in that time frame.

I wouldn't be upset at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here who does expect an explanation if someone tells me they are taking a job and then cancels. You are right - my recourse would be to just not hire that person and if burned badly enough to let my neighbors know too if they asked about that sitter. I frankly am skeptical that finding an occasional sitter is all that hard though. (A great nanny - yes - but a date night sitter? I basically need someone capable of not frightening my kids in the 1 hr they are awake before lights out while the date night sitter comes. I just don't think it is all that rough a job or tough to find someone to do.

If that's your bar, then of course its easy to find a body, but said sitter also has to be willing to deal with you, like your kids, and feel well compensated for their Friday/Saturday night. I'm not sure you realize this, but date night sitters are usually from your area and you can also gain a reputation. I would venture to guess that this is exactly OP's problem. Sitters for some reason don't like working for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked a frequent babysitter of ours (an adult who nannies, not a college or high school student) if she could babysit two evenings while our nanny is out of town. I emphasized - or tried to - that I would not commit to my work-related evening meetings unless she could work the two evenings. She agreed and said she was absolutely free both of the days and at the times I specified. I just got an email (2 weeks before the 2 evenings) that she can only work 1 of the 2. I'm really irritated b/c this was a major event for me and I scheduled it 6 weeks in advance because I needed assurance that I would be able to go. It's a mandatory work-field-wide meeting and I was relying on this person.

Is 2 weeks too short notice? Should I be upset? Or do plans just change and I'm being unreasonable expecting anyone to commit to something in stone 6 weeks in advance?

You sound like a hysterical control freak. Either change your ways or DOUBLE what you pay, if you want any self-respecting adult to put up with you. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I disapprove of the rude tone taken in the previous two posts, I'm a NP who also never gives a reason when I cancel an appointment (same as a babysitting job) two weeks in advance. 24 hours notice? Absolutely I would explain. A few days out? It would depend on the circumstances and how good our relationship was, but maybe. Two weeks is outrageous. Do you apologize to your dentist when you cancel your appt two weeks early and explain you had to because you've been waiting for an OBGYN slot to open up and you have to prioritize that? No. We are modern, assertive women the same as you; we understand common courtesy and professional expectations AND we do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or apologizing all the time for setting reasonable boundaries in our lives.

+1,000

I work full-time as a nanny and will (occasionally) babysit for other families when I have nothing better to do. That being said - if I cancelled a job 2 weeks in advance I would feel zero obligation to explain why because frankly, its none of your business. I provided you with adequate time to find a replacement sitter, if you don't want to hire me again then it doesn't hurt me. If I have to cancel with less than 48 hours notice I will let you know the general idea of why (doctors appointment, family emergency, etc) and if I can I'll provide you with the number for at least 2 back-up sitters.

I understand that having to find a sitter on short notice is difficult but 2 weeks out is usually when I book jobs so please, consider that your sitter is actually being very considerate in giving you that much notice. And, if you can't find a back up sitter then contact an agency.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

wow.

i am shocked at the venom on this site.

this was my first time posting and the response is pretty unbelievable. i hope i don't know any of you nannies in real life.

as i noted, i needed someone to give me this date. it was emphasized that this was very important to my work. the first 3 sitters i contacted had conflicts - two have grad school classes on the evening i need (and both said they wished they could get out of them), the third has a recurring babysitting job for the same night. (so i think i have a good number of babysitters). i offer $25/hr for 2 potty trained kids who are pleasant. i do not ask for any additional work. i leave food for the sitter.

this is the third time this sitter has canceled - first two times were much earlier this year - weather and illness, so I didn't think she didn't want to sit.

I asked how one would go about emphasizing to a sitter for a very important date and i got slammed for imagined offenses - i don't pay enough! i treat people poorly! i cancel on sitters all the time!

ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

You got slammed for bitching about having 2 weeks to find a sitter. Life happens and your sitter's life does not revolve around your priorities/commitments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got slammed for bitching about having 2 weeks to find a sitter. Life happens and your sitter's life does not revolve around your priorities/commitments.

you need to GROW UP and learn how to follow through on your commitments. Or don't commit at all in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

wow.

i am shocked at the venom on this site.

this was my first time posting and the response is pretty unbelievable. i hope i don't know any of you nannies in real life.

as i noted, i needed someone to give me this date. it was emphasized that this was very important to my work. the first 3 sitters i contacted had conflicts - two have grad school classes on the evening i need (and both said they wished they could get out of them), the third has a recurring babysitting job for the same night. (so i think i have a good number of babysitters). i offer $25/hr for 2 potty trained kids who are pleasant. i do not ask for any additional work. i leave food for the sitter.

this is the third time this sitter has canceled - first two times were much earlier this year - weather and illness, so I didn't think she didn't want to sit.

I asked how one would go about emphasizing to a sitter for a very important date and i got slammed for imagined offenses - i don't pay enough! i treat people poorly! i cancel on sitters all the time!

ridiculous.

Ugh. You are such a fucking troll.

-this is your first time posting ever
-you are shocked and appalled that your troll post got people riled
-you pay above market for a simple sitting
-you do everything absolutely perfectly toward your sitters

This is troll 101. Please go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I disapprove of the rude tone taken in the previous two posts, I'm a NP who also never gives a reason when I cancel an appointment (same as a babysitting job) two weeks in advance. 24 hours notice? Absolutely I would explain. A few days out? It would depend on the circumstances and how good our relationship was, but maybe. Two weeks is outrageous. Do you apologize to your dentist when you cancel your appt two weeks early and explain you had to because you've been waiting for an OBGYN slot to open up and you have to prioritize that? No. We are modern, assertive women the same as you; we understand common courtesy and professional expectations AND we do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or apologizing all the time for setting reasonable boundaries in our lives.

OP, the above was my post.

You're either a troll or the MIB in the country if you think no one should change plans/have things come up and have to cancel commitments/appointments within a time frame large enough for you to find a replacement! You failed to even acknowledge the polite and reasonable explanation I gave (and another nanny agreed with and added to) so my vote is troll.

It's only fun until you have to start talking logically, after all.

[Anonymous]

And if your four primary sitters are unavailable you surely have friends, neighbors, religious community members, etc. you could call for referrals, no? You're just calling it quite after four calls?

[Anonymous]

Quits*

[Anonymous]

6 weeks is way too early for commitment, although "the earlier the better" as far as getting on a sitters schedule. Most of the time I notify our sitter the week of. Rarely it's two weeks notice. Haven't had an issue in 5 months.

[Anonymous]

"Anonymous wrote:
You got slammed for bitching about having 2 weeks to find a sitter. Life happens and your sitter's life does not revolve around your priorities/commitments.
you need to GROW UP and learn how to follow through on your commitments. Or don't commit at all in the first place."

+1
This is not fundamentally different than RSVP'ing for an event. If you do not want to commit then do not RSVP / do not take the job and commit to be there. If you do then show up it have a good reason about why you did not.