Short notice? Or not?

[Anonymous]

I asked a frequent babysitter of ours (an adult who nannies, not a college or high school student) if she could babysit two evenings while our nanny is out of town. I emphasized - or tried to - that I would not commit to my work-related evening meetings unless she could work the two evenings. She agreed and said she was absolutely free both of the days and at the times I specified. I just got an email (2 weeks before the 2 evenings) that she can only work 1 of the 2. I'm really irritated b/c this was a major event for me and I scheduled it 6 weeks in advance because I needed assurance that I would be able to go. It's a mandatory work-field-wide meeting and I was relying on this person.

Is 2 weeks too short notice? Should I be upset? Or do plans just change and I'm being unreasonable expecting anyone to commit to something in stone 6 weeks in advance?

[Anonymous]

While it sucks, life happens. 2 weeks is plenty of time for you to find a backup sitter. Focus your energy on finding a replacement.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Two weeks is a LOT of notice for a babysitting cancellation.

I totally agree with 14:47 - put your energy into finding a replacement. Do you have a neighborhood listserv? Ask there.

[Anonymous]

Really? She's an adult, life happens, and you have 2 weeks notice to find a back up sitter. How about just being happy that you have 2 weeks to find back up care instead of scrambling the night before or night of your event.

[Anonymous]

2 weeks is PLENTY of notice. Yes you are being over the top. Sometimes, expecting someone to give definite availability really far in advanced is just as difficult as doing it on short notice. Its hard to know 6 weeks out what will come up, and to be honest, a babysitting gig is low on my list of responsibilities. If something more important came up, two weeks in advanced, I would not hesitate to cancel. That's plenty of time to find a replacement. People give 2 weeks notice for their full time actual jobs.

[Anonymous]

I agree it is not terrible notice but unless the reason is pretty good I would not hire her again. Same as when you RSVP got something - you agree to go then you go. You do not skip due to a better offer.

[Anonymous]

You have TWO WEEKS to find another sitter!!! Seriously, what are you belly-aching about? If your event had been cancelled two weeks ahead of time, would you have paid the nanny? I think we all know the answer to that is a big "NO".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is not terrible notice but unless the reason is pretty good I would not hire her again. Same as when you RSVP got something - you agree to go then you go. You do not skip due to a better offer.

OP here - no reason given at all. She was the last if 4 sitters I approached about this date and the only one who was free. I don't really feel comfortable leaving my kids with a total stranger to them for an evening.

[Anonymous]

Well, I must be the only person who takes commitments seriously. If I say I'll be there, I'll be there barring illness or injury. I expect the same of others.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you commit not knowing what may pop up later...6 weeks is a long time and things can happen in between.
Personally I don't do it unless it's less that a week I'm committing to.
The reason being my former employer once asked me to work a particular Sunday the following month because her husband wanted to take her out..I said no problem because Sundays I would shop or just read at home..only to realize a week before it was on Mother's Day. ..I quickly told her I'm sorry couldn't do it because my husband and kids have always made this a very special day for me...
She was very angry..it was very awkward going in to work..I eventually left..
Now I don't ever work weekends as favors...my hours are m-f
Don't try to convince me that you trust only me to watch the kids..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you commit not knowing what may pop up later...6 weeks is a long time and things can happen in between.
Personally I don't do it unless it's less that a week I'm committing to.
The reason being my former employer once asked me to work a particular Sunday the following month because her husband wanted to take her out..I said no problem because Sundays I would shop or just read at home..only to realize a week before it was on Mother's Day. ..I quickly told her I'm sorry couldn't do it because my husband and kids have always made this a very special day for me...
She was very angry..it was very awkward going in to work..I eventually left..
Now I don't ever work weekends as favors...my hours are m-f
Don't try to convince me that you trust only me to watch the kids..

that's just it...you put the day you agree to on the calendar and when something ELSE pops up, you say no, because you already have something on the calendar. Or you just say no from the get go. Or you can say yes, but such and such might pop up but I won't know for another two weeks or whatever. If you say yes, then plan to be there. Period. If you can't overcome the urge to accept a better offer down the road, then don't commit in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you commit not knowing what may pop up later...6 weeks is a long time and things can happen in between.
Personally I don't do it unless it's less that a week I'm committing to.
The reason being my former employer once asked me to work a particular Sunday the following month because her husband wanted to take her out..I said no problem because Sundays I would shop or just read at home..only to realize a week before it was on Mother's Day. ..I quickly told her I'm sorry couldn't do it because my husband and kids have always made this a very special day for me...
She was very angry..it was very awkward going in to work..I eventually left..
Now I don't ever work weekends as favors...my hours are m-f
Don't try to convince me that you trust only me to watch the kids..

that's just it...you put the day you agree to on the calendar and when something ELSE pops up, you say no, because you already have something on the calendar. Or you just say no from the get go. Or you can say yes, but such and such might pop up but I won't know for another two weeks or whatever. If you say yes, then plan to be there. Period. If you can't overcome the urge to accept a better offer down the road, then don't commit in the first place.

S**t happens. Deal with it.
The world doesn't revolve around you and your life.
Things change, sitters cancel and sometimes we don't get what we want.
Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it is not terrible notice but unless the reason is pretty good I would not hire her again. Same as when you RSVP got something - you agree to go then you go. You do not skip due to a better offer.

+1

I don't think this is worth having a personal vendetta over this, but I do think you'd be justified in moving this Nanny way down on your list of candidates for future babysitting jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have TWO WEEKS to find another sitter!!! Seriously, what are you belly-aching about? If your event had been cancelled two weeks ahead of time, would you have paid the nanny? I think we all know the answer to that is a big "NO".

Good question, OP. If your event had been cancelled two weeks prior would you have paid the nanny who held the date open for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have TWO WEEKS to find another sitter!!! Seriously, what are you belly-aching about? If your event had been cancelled two weeks ahead of time, would you have paid the nanny? I think we all know the answer to that is a big "NO".

Good question, OP. If your event had been cancelled two weeks prior would you have paid the nanny who held the date open for you? [/quote

This is actually a really good point. I have seen countless posts on DCUM from MBs who think it is just fine to cancel on a babysitter with wayyyyyy less than 2 weeks notice. Why is it a tragedy of a sitter cancels, yet perfectly acceptable if you do?