Lend me your furloughed nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, if I, as a nanny, were about to be given an indefinite amount of unpaid leave I would JUMP at this opportunity. This is not offensive to nannies at all, it is actually really helpful and could potentially save one who is about to be in dire financial straits.

Of course the MB would want to talk to the other MB first - to make sure their needs are coordinated since obviously the nanny's employer would want first dibs on her time as soon as they needed her back, but do any of you honestly think the nanny wouldn't also be consulted?! In what world?

This is the insulting part, since you don't get it. It is NOT the MBs decision as to whether or not a job is a good fit for her nanny. If you lay your nanny off during this shutdown, that is your right, but it is HER right to decide whether or not she wants to work with you on coordinating something so she would be available when the shutdown is over. This post wasn't looking out for out of work nannies, give me a fucking break. It was written for the MBs who don't want to/can't pay their nanny, but want to ensure she is still there when all is said and done. It was self serving, and insulting. It would have been perfectly fine and appreciated had OP addressed the NANNIES she would be hiring.

Okay, I think perhaps you've been hitting the bottle early today so let me try and write this out clearly.

OP needs a short-term nanny and wanted to network with MBs/DBs who either have had to give their nanny unpaid time off or are thinking they will need to do so (and are obviously feeling badly about it because they care about their nanny and know she needs a steady income).

MB reads this post and thinks, "oh that would be a great way to ensure my nanny has the opportunity to keep her income steady while we wait for Boehner to get his act together."

MB and OP talk - OP says, "I need a nanny for X days/times/weeks, would that work for your schedule?"

MB says, "Actually, we'll need the nanny back as soon as the shutdown ends, can you be flexible with your end date?"

OP says sure, she understands and can be flexible, they can get a nanny through an agency if the feds go back to work before then.

MB then says to her nanny, "We're so sorry we can't afford to pay you right now, but I've spoken with another parent who would be interested in talking with you about a temporary position she's offering until we are all back at work and can get back to normal - here is her number/email if you'd like to talk to her about it."

What part of that is offensive to you?

The part that is offensive to me is the part where my MB gets first refusal on a potential job for ME. What if their needs didn't match up exactly and my MB decides this isn't the job for me? Wtf. Maybe I dont even want to continue working for someone who is apparently 1 paycheck away from broke. Why even deal with a middle man? Why couldn't OP just advertise for a temporary nanny like everyone else, and let nannies decide what does or doesn't work for them. An MB would be free to say this might work for my nanny and pass it on to her nanny, or make first contact, but to put the decision of whether or not a job fits someone's needs in the hands of their employer is looking out for the needs of said employer, not the employee. That is what is offensive.

I'm really tired of all the bull shit nannies get for sticking up for themselves. No I'm not stupid. No I haven't been drinking. And you know what, all you hoighty toighty MBs (mommy bitches), lots of nannies have degrees, including this one. You are not better than me, so step off.

I think you are really out. to me OP simply wanted to clarify to other MBs that she would not hire the nanny away for the original family (OP has already said that this is temporary and that she is waiting for her nanny to come back), and that at any time the shitdown (not a mispelling) ends, she would agree to end the temporary job even if she needs the nanny. obviosuly, the nanny can do whatever she wants, not taking the temp job, find a new employer and whatever else. but it seems fairly obvious to me that OP wants to reassure other MBs that she would not try to hire the nanny past the temporary emergency. I am a professional and my employer would never "lent" me to a competitor knowing that I may stay and never come back, but they did "lent" me temporarily to a client in a in-house position for a short time, with the agreement that I would not be hired by the client. I am not a slave and have control of my career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm really tired of all the bull shit nannies get for sticking up for themselves. No I'm not stupid. No I haven't been drinking. And you know what, all you hoighty toighty MBs (mommy bitches), lots of nannies have degrees, including this one. You are not better than me, so step off.

Dear God. You may not be stupid or drunk but you certainly are nasty and low class and so I actually think the PP you're haranguing, and I, and my nanny, and my kids for that matter, are better than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The part that is offensive to me is the part where my MB gets first refusal on a potential job for ME. What if their needs didn't match up exactly and my MB decides this isn't the job for me? Wtf. Maybe I dont even want to continue working for someone who is apparently 1 paycheck away from broke. Why even deal with a middle man? Why couldn't OP just advertise for a temporary nanny like everyone else, and let nannies decide what does or doesn't work for them. An MB would be free to say this might work for my nanny and pass it on to her nanny, or make first contact, but to put the decision of whether or not a job fits someone's needs in the hands of their employer is looking out for the needs of said employer, not the employee. That is what is offensive.

I'm really tired of all the bull shit nannies get for sticking up for themselves. No I'm not stupid. No I haven't been drinking. And you know what, all you hoighty toighty MBs (mommy bitches), lots of nannies have degrees, including this one. You are not better than me, so step off.

Okay. I hear what you're saying. But just because OP posted here doesn't mean 1) nannies who have already been given unpaid leave couldn't reach out to her directly (it isn't like she's going to ask to talk to your boss to OK it - although she might want to talk to them for a reference) 2) that OP isn't posting in other locations to target nannies. Just like when a nanny job comes to an end we expect our MBs to use their network to help us find a new position - and aren't offended by her generous offer to help us collect some leads even though we are also scouring care.com and calling our agencies - this is truly an inoffensive post. You're just looking for a reason to be outraged. There are plenty of legitimate issues to be defensive about, but this really isn't one of them.

[Anonymous]

So bizarre that everyone is getting worked up about this posting. The OP was looking for a win/win/win situation for everyone here. That's all, nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So bizarre that everyone is getting worked up about this posting. The OP was looking for a win/win/win situation for everyone here. That's all, nothing more.

Exactly - that's how it seemed to me also. If I were in a tough spot (either as nanny or employer) and a creative solution like this helped get me through a short period it would seem great. Doesn't have to work for everyone - but seems like a potentially great idea for the right people at the right time.

Sorry OP got stomped all over!

[Anonymous]

Yep, plus to answer someone earlier who accused the OP of being disrespectful to her nanny, seems like exactly the opposite. The OP was trying to help her nanny with an option to stay financially covered rather than just hanging her out to dry. Ask anyone out on unpaid leave right now if they'd enjoy a chance to make some $ to cover their bills so they don't have to worry about what to do during their leave, and they would be pretty excited. Sure, would be better if the OP didn't have to have that conversation with her nanny to begin with and wasn't stuck out on an unpaid leave - unfortunately, our politicians have put a lot of people in that position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nannies posting are the reason I would never trust my children with stangers. A bunch of dramatic looney-tunes who take offence to everything. Get real careers if you feel that inferior. Oh I forgot, you need a degree for that!

Said the SAH mom who's in the computer or online.

You're the one who's insulting

Go back to the parenting board and ask stupid questions to complete strangers (which I can spell, must be that degree!) like "oh it's raining should my child wear a rain coat?" or "what should I do with child all day?" or "what should I feed my child?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You nannies posting are the reason I would never trust my children with stangers. A bunch of dramatic looney-tunes who take offence to everything. Get real careers if you feel that inferior. Oh I forgot, you need a degree for that!

I'm 18:53, 12:43, 13:07, and 15:42.

Obviously we agree that the outraged nanny/nannies are being unreasonable, but was there really a reason to stoop so low and insult us all? Would you expect any mom to say that to her nanny, even during a disagreement re: wages, benefits, or expectations? I can't picture a parent telling their child's caregiver to "get a real career" under any circumstances; most MBs are grateful for the work we do and there is a healthy, mutual respect in our relationships.

[Anonymous]

OMG, if I, as a nanny, were about to be given an indefinite amount of unpaid leave I would JUMP at this opportunity. This is not offensive to nannies at all, it is actually really helpful and could potentially save one who is about to be in dire financial straits.

Of course the MB would want to talk to the other MB first - to make sure their needs are coordinated since obviously the nanny's employer would want first dibs on her time as soon as they needed her back, but do any of you honestly think the nanny wouldn't also be consulted?! In what world?


This is the insulting part, since you don't get it. It is NOT the MBs decision as to whether or not a job is a good fit for her nanny. If you lay your nanny off during this shutdown, that is your right, but it is HER right to decide whether or not she wants to work with you on coordinating something so she would be available when the shutdown is over. This post wasn't looking out for out of work nannies, give me a fucking break. It was written for the MBs who don't want to/can't pay their nanny, but want to ensure she is still there when all is said and done. It was self serving, and insulting. It would have been perfectly fine and appreciated had OP addressed the NANNIES she would be hiring.

So dramatic. You don't like it, say no!

But if you do say no, make sure you aren't one of the nannies here who goes on and on about how very special the nanny relationship is and how MBs have to be concerned about the nanny's personal budget and how so completely outrageous it is if a family needs to lay off a nanny.

You don't get it both ways. This OP was trying to look out for the negative effects of a furlough on a nanny who may want to keep her job by offering a short term alternative. You can find that insulting and pretend it is about something that it's not (you seriously believe a nanny would have no say in the situation?) but don't go around complaining when MBs rightly remind the whining nannies around here that they are employees, not family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OMG, if I, as a nanny, were about to be given an indefinite amount of unpaid leave I would JUMP at this opportunity. This is not offensive to nannies at all, it is actually really helpful and could potentially save one who is about to be in dire financial straits.

Of course the MB would want to talk to the other MB first - to make sure their needs are coordinated since obviously the nanny's employer would want first dibs on her time as soon as they needed her back, but do any of you honestly think the nanny wouldn't also be consulted?! In what world?


This is the insulting part, since you don't get it. It is NOT the MBs decision as to whether or not a job is a good fit for her nanny. If you lay your nanny off during this shutdown, that is your right, but it is HER right to decide whether or not she wants to work with you on coordinating something so she would be available when the shutdown is over. This post wasn't looking out for out of work nannies, give me a fucking break. It was written for the MBs who don't want to/can't pay their nanny, but want to ensure she is still there when all is said and done. It was self serving, and insulting. It would have been perfectly fine and appreciated had OP addressed the NANNIES she would be hiring.

So dramatic. You don't like it, say no!

But if you do say no, make sure you aren't one of the nannies here who goes on and on about how very special the nanny relationship is and how MBs have to be concerned about the nanny's personal budget and how so completely outrageous it is if a family needs to lay off a nanny.

You don't get it both ways. This OP was trying to look out for the negative effects of a furlough on a nanny who may want to keep her job by offering a short term alternative. You can find that insulting and pretend it is about something that it's not (you seriously believe a nanny would have no say in the situation?) but don't go around complaining when MBs rightly remind the whining nannies around here that they are employees, not family members.

Did you know that nannies come in all sizes, just like you do!

[Anonymous]

If you have to lay your nanny off then she can collect umemployment, can't she. So why would she want to work for Lady Bountiful OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to lay your nanny off then she can collect umemployment, can't she. So why would she want to work for Lady Bountiful OP?

Because in the US, unemployment is only a fraction of your previous income.

[Anonymous]

OP should have addtessed her post to "nannies of furloughed Feds." "Lend me your nanny" does sound as though nannies are the property of the MB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP should have addtessed her post to "nannies of furloughed Feds." "Lend me your nanny" does sound as though nannies are the property of the MB.

Exactly, lets try this another way. How do you like the sound of:

"Lend me your wife. I have a temporary need for someone to cook, clean, and pleasure me." Totally gross and disrespectful right? Would be much more appropriate to ask the WIFE if she'd be available for said cooking and cleaning.

"Lend me your shovel. We just got a bunch of snow, and I don't have one right now." Completely acceptable. Don't need the shovel's say so.

See the difference? Person. Object. Person. Object.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have addtessed her post to "nannies of furloughed Feds." "Lend me your nanny" does sound as though nannies are the property of the MB.

Exactly, lets try this another way. How do you like the sound of:

"Lend me your wife. I have a temporary need for someone to cook, clean, and pleasure me." Totally gross and disrespectful right? Would be much more appropriate to ask the WIFE if she'd be available for said cooking and cleaning.
"Lend me your shovel. We just got a bunch of snow, and I don't have one right now." Completely acceptable. Don't need the shovel's say so.

See the difference? Person. Object. Person. Object.

are you kidding??? what kind of person are you? so a wife for you is not a life partner, it is somebody who cooks, clean and pleasure the husband, so asking directly the wife if she wants to cook and clean for a stranger and "pleasure" him would be appropriate????

are you a woman? are you in relationship? If so, I really hope this is not the kind of life you are living.