AP has to work tomorrow morning...

[Anonymous]

We're not a curfew family and have recently had similar issues. In our case, she was showing up for work just absolutely dragging ass. We addressed that issue - when you are on duty, you need to be energetic enough to follow around two preschoolers, you need to have your day planned, and you need to show up on time, dressed, fed and ready to begin. That is your issue, no matter how much sleep she gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We require our APs to be home 8 hours before the beginning of her shift. It's in the handbook and discussed during interviews.

How can you think its okay to dictate the sleeping habits of an employee? Like really. How is that okay?

For the same reason that many professional athletes have a curfew on game nights. Because the stakes are high and the employees can't always be counted on to make responsible choices. Good management is about understanding where your employees are at developmentally and meeting them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your APs are not your children or your slave. They are your employee. Telling them they must be home at 10 before working the next day is crossing the line. You can't control everything. If you required me to be home at 10 for work the next day you'd need to pay me for those hours you are requiring me to be "at work". Sounds crazy right??

You misunderstand the very basic nature of an au pair relationship. As is often quoted to us here (as host families), APs are not "merely" our "employees." That is true. That is true in some nice ways for them (I think as host families, we should be expected to take them on outings, help them meet people, expose them to American culture, help them plan travel, etc.), but it is also true in some other ways that they may not find nice (curfews, rules about how to peacefully coexist in the house, etc.). They are employees -- but with specific benefits, and strings, attached.

Whether you like it or not, "curfews" (or the lack thereof) are a VERY standard part of the discussion. Our au pair goes on duty M-F at 7:00 a.m. It is an early start. I am very up-front during the matching phase about my "curfew" (i.e., you can stay out as late as you want when you're not working... but during the work week, you should be home by 10). Girls are free not to match with me. Most of the au pair candidates that I've interviewed have actually had the common sense to ASK me about curfews.

If you came to a "real" job and fell asleep at your desk -- you could expect to be fired. On the spot. That day.

Is that preferable here? Ignore the curfew issue, wait until she falls asleep and the 2 year old runs into the street, and then tell her to pack her bags and go home? Because that is how an "employee" would be treated. I think the only responsible thing to do is to have a discussion with the AP and tell her that you don't believe she is capable of giving the level of attention to her charges that you expect her to when she has only had 2 hours of sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she normally work 6 days a week? My performance would start to slip after a year of that!

+1 I once worked 7 days a week for a few months and my immune system took a huge hit. I was tired, grumpy, and sick all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she normally work 6 days a week? My performance would start to slip after a year of that!

+1 I once worked 7 days a week for a few months and my immune system took a huge hit. I was tired, grumpy, and sick all the time.

Working seven days a week for months is different from alternating five days a week with six days a week and then only for a few hours every other Sunday. Anyways, If she can't do it, then she's free to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she needs to be home six-eight hours before her shifts start from now on because you think it's impacting the level of care she gives the children.

.

You should put something like this in place anyway. This is always our policy and has worked well.

[Anonymous]

When I was 25 I stayed with my much older brother and his family for a bit. I watched their kids for a week while they went on vacation too. The night before they left I was out at the neighbors until about 4 am. My brother came by and said something I have always remembered and that I think is true:

"(Wife) is worried that you will be too tired tomorrow to watch the kids if you don't come home. (Brother) reminded (wife) that you have a LOT more energy at 25 than you do at 40(sonething) and pulling all nightersisnt the soul destroying experience it is for old fogies like us."

Leave her alone. . 25 year olds can function on zero sleep wayyyyyy better than we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We require our APs to be home 8 hours before the beginning of her shift. It's in the handbook and discussed during interviews.

How can you think its okay to dictate the sleeping habits of an employee? Like really. How is that okay?

For the same reason that many professional athletes have a curfew on game nights. Because the stakes are high and the employees can't always be counted on to make responsible choices. Good management is about understanding where your employees are at developmentally and meeting them there.

LOL your comparing taking care of a child to professional athletes?? It's a half day so let them hang out watch some cartoons eat breakfast etc. I mean your working this girl 6 days a week. It's restorative and very helpful to have 2 consecutive days off, esp when you work and live in the same place.