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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your APs are not your children or your slave. They are your employee. Telling them they must be home at 10 before working the next day is crossing the line. You can't control everything. If you required me to be home at 10 for work the next day you'd need to pay me for those hours you are requiring me to be "at work". Sounds crazy right??[/quote]

You misunderstand the very basic nature of an au pair relationship.  As is often quoted to us here (as host families), APs are not "merely" our "employees."  That is true.  That is true in some nice ways for them (I think as host families, we should be expected to take them on outings, help them meet people, expose them to American culture, help them plan travel, etc.), but it is also true in some other ways that they may not find nice (curfews, rules about how to peacefully coexist in the house, etc.).  They are employees -- but with specific benefits, and strings, attached.

Whether you like it or not, "curfews" (or the lack thereof) are a VERY standard part of the discussion.  Our au pair goes on duty M-F at 7:00 a.m.  It is an early start.  I am very up-front during the matching phase about my "curfew"  (i.e., you can stay out as late as you want when you're not working... but during the work week, you should be home by 10).  Girls are free not to match with me.  Most of the au pair candidates that I've interviewed have actually had the common sense to ASK me about curfews.

If you came to a "real" job and fell asleep at your desk -- you could expect to be fired.  On the spot.  That day.

Is that preferable here?  Ignore the curfew issue, wait until she falls asleep and the 2 year old runs into the street, and then tell her to pack her bags and go home?  Because that is how an "employee" would be treated.  I think the only responsible thing to do is to have a discussion with the AP and tell her that you don't believe she is capable of giving the level of attention to her charges that you expect her to when she has only had 2 hours of sleep.[/quote]

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