Mom refuses to pump and doesn't feed newborn as expected ...
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Anonymous
| I care for 2 kids, one is 2 months. The mom refuses to pump and she doesn't feed the newborn every 2-3 hours so I am typically stuck with an upset hungry baby!! I've only seen the mom eat once so I don't even think the baby is getting enough nutrients (I know she eats but given I'm here 8 hours a day.. She eats very little and take more milk pills) , but it makes my job harder caring for a newborn and 1 year old! Any advice appreciated. I've asked her to pump, and she said she doesn't produce enough to do that. I enjoy the family, but I can not deal with the crying all day when it all refers to the baby being hungry, as soon as she's fed, she's the happiest thing ! |
Anonymous
| She needs to supplement with formula if she's not producing enough. The mom is home all day and hears the baby crying and refuses to feed her? That's awful. I know some people will say to MYOB but I would personally suggest to the mom that you guys pick up some formula to supplement. A 2 month old should be eating every 3 hours. |
Anonymous
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Wait? Does this baby take formula as well?
If the baby is getting fed through formula, it's no problem. She shouldn't have to pump as long as the baby gets to eat. However, and this would blow my mind... If she doesn't produce enough milk to feed the baby adequately and does not supplement with formula that is neglect. At two months the baby should be drinking 2 to 4 ounces every two to four hours. Seriously, the child should not be kept hungry for more than a few minutes. I find this rather insane. |
Anonymous
| This is crazy to me. If I were you, every 2-3 hours I would bring the baby to MB and say "time for a feed" and leave the baby with MB and go off to another room to play with the older child. If MB is breast feeding and not providing any formula or pumped milk for you, then it's on her to feed the baby. And if she for some reason refuses to feed the baby (????) then she can care for the cranky, hungry infant until she does. If she is refusing to even try and feed the baby on reasonable intervals, then I would explain the dangers of dehydration and malnutrition to her. If it continues I'd call CPS. |
Anonymous
Agree. I nanny for a SAHM who would get caught up in her work, neglecting to nurse at regular intervals. I started bringing the baby to her office. Now it's become routine. |
Anonymous
Agree with this - I would totally bring the baby to her and then leave - don't hang around to hear her say "oh, not right now, I'll do it soon." So with a smile on your face you say "Time to feed Baby", hand her the baby and walk away and get very busy with that 1 yr old (easy to do!) Yikes. It's crazy that she hears her baby crying ad infinitum and doesn't feed more often. |
Anonymous
| Is there a dad in the picture? Sounds like she might have ppd |
Anonymous
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Is she actually refusing to feed the baby?
Is the baby allowed formula. If so give the baby a bottle of formula If baby is being breasted exclusively I'd do what the others suggested and drop the baby off. Keep a close eye on mom for other symptoms she may be battling ppd and need outside support. |
Anonymous
| OP here, there is not supplement formula. She is not just refusing as in saying NO, But she'll run out for errands knowing that she'll be gone when it's feeding time and I'll ask, "will you pump so I can feed the baby?" And she's typically saying the baby will be okay which the baby isn't. I've gotten to the point where I do have to take the baby to her directly but if she isn't home then I'm stuck and now her and the husband are asking for date nights for dinner/movie which is about 4-5 hours (just guessing) so what am I to do if they leave for dinner around 6pm and not return until about 10pm? I'm trying to be professional without being too forward, but we need to get the baby introduced to formula or she's going to have to eat more so she can produce more milk and have at least 2 bottles in the fridge for these moments. She's the first mom I've met who breast feeds and doesn't have any stores milk, SAHM or not, there should be stored milk or formula. I will not give up my weekend night if she can't do her part. I just want some advice on saying that to her ! |
Anonymous
When she goes to leave during the day, I'd try and catch her and say "the baby will need to eat in 1 hour, will you be back by then?" If she says no, then she needs to take the baby with her. Since you're in the process of trying to add date nights as a new thing anyway, I would absolutely make it your line in the sand. I would lightheartedly tell them "MB I'm happy to pick up some date nights for you and DB, but when I do there really needs to be some pumped milk or formula ready for me. No one wants to care for a cranky hungry baby all night!" Right when I showed up for the first date night I would immediately ask where the milk is. If they can't show it to you, I would refuse to stay. |
Anonymous
| I would report this bad mother |
Anonymous
| You need to be very direct on this one. While many issues concerning Breastfeeding are the mothers territory you are directly impacted by this one as your job is to meet the baby's daily needs. You can not do your job under the circumstances. |
Anonymous
| This is a serious situation and I would be proactive with her and father by talking to them together. If no father in picture then talk to her. You take the initiative because this baby's life is at stake. If she doesn't change then call CPS. You cannot wait to see what happens. May be she has PPD but help is needed now. |
Anonymous
| If she refuses to leave you pumped milk (which some mothers are physically unable to do so no matter how hard they try) she needs to supplement with formula. I would talk with her and let her know that you cannot work in a situation where you have to force a baby to go hungry. You can say you know how much breast feeding means to her and you don't want to take away from that special time between her and her baby but the baby still needs to eat and you will give her the chance to breastfed whenever she's available but you need something for when she's unavailable. If things don't change I would look for a new job. If the baby is ever diagnosed as failure to thrive it can easily fall on you and mb could blame you (even if it's not your fault, she could tell the pediatrician the nanny doesn't feed the baby). If a baby is diagnosed with failure to thrive and doesn't show improvements the doctor can and will report it to cps and that could hurt your career |
Anonymous
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Another possible option-
Look into a milk bank so the baby will be getting breast milk? Sounds like mom may have some PPD going on. |