Mom refuses to pump and doesn't feed newborn as expected ...

[Anonymous]

How was mom with DC # 1?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I have only been their nanny for a few weeks. I don't know :-/ the oldest is healthy, but I just don't think it is fair that time the baby is crying etc, she could be fed and happy and I'd have more playing time with oldest. The girls are really great and took to me right away, I can take them to the park with no issues/crying, there's so many things I can do with them, but having a crying babying hinders that. Thanks for all the advice, I return to work Monday and I will talk with the mom!! The dad is at work by time I arrive so we don't see each other often.

[Anonymous]

The OP just can't go to a milk bank and give it the baby without at least mentioning it to the mother. I would be LIVID if my nanny did such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she refuses to leave you pumped milk (which some mothers are physically unable to do so no matter how hard they try) she needs to supplement with formula. I would talk with her and let her know that you cannot work in a situation where you have to force a baby to go hungry. You can say you know how much breast feeding means to her and you don't want to take away from that special time between her and her baby but the baby still needs to eat and you will give her the chance to breastfed whenever she's available but you need something for when she's unavailable. If things don't change I would look for a new job. If the baby is ever diagnosed as failure to thrive it can easily fall on you and mb could blame you (even if it's not your fault, she could tell the pediatrician the nanny doesn't feed the baby). If a baby is diagnosed with failure to thrive and doesn't show improvements the doctor can and will report it to cps and that could hurt your career

This exactly. It maybe she really wants to EBF realizes she's not producing enough and feels guilty over it. It could be a worry that bay will bond with you. Doesn't really matter you are not there to play mommy's psychologist. Mention the options of formula or a milk bank.

But a hungry baby is not an option period. Intentionally withholding food from an infant is abuse full stop. It's her own milk, supplemented with donor milk or formula but a hungry infant. Make this very clear to her.


Remember OP nannies are mandated reporters. It's not just your job but the child's life.

[Anonymous]

There is something going on with the mom here.

I was a good producer and both babies gained quickly (and were hungry ALL THE TIME) but I was not able to use a pump. Just couldn't get any out with the pump!

That said, I always nursed my babies, and if that hadn't been something I was willing or able to do, then I would not hesitate to use formula.

I agree with PP about PPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP just can't go to a milk bank and give it the baby without at least mentioning it to the mother. I would be LIVID if my nanny did such a thing.

OMG, calm down! Nobody suggested the nanny go to a milk bank and get milk to give the baby on the sly. I suggested that maybe bringing this up as an option to MB as it seems like she really wants her baby to be fed breast milk and not formula. I would never suggest that a nanny feed any baby any breast milk or formula that wasn't approved by the parents. I personally worked with twins who were born via surrogate and were fed almost exclusively breast milk from a milk bank, so this is a good option for some.

[Anonymous]

Can you contact a lactation consultant to come to the house for an emergency appointment?
This is absolutely awful - as a mom, I don't know how someone could do this. If you really believe she is neglecting the baby, you really need to provide a formula bottle. I don't know what else to tell you other than calling authorities. Can you speak to the father? I'm sure his number is around - tell him you are very conserned. He doesn't have to be home for you to do this.

[Anonymous]

Just call CPS and tell them what is going on. This way it is on record you notified authorities about situation. Then, find Another job.

[Anonymous]

What did you do OP?