What is reasonable while working at dinner time?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my nanny family almost two years now and will be switching to being just an afternoon/evening nanny as the kids are in school now. I just found out the family needs me until 7pm now and I live 30 minutes away. Which means I'll be eating lunch at noon before work and then I won't be able to eat dinner until 7:30 or 8. I can bring a snack but I just feel like eating that late isn't really healthy since I have digestion issues and have to be sitting up for 2-3 hours after eating. I make dinner for the family too and the kids eat at 5:30 while I'm there and the parents never eat with them. Would it be unreasonable to ask if I can eat dinner with the kids at their house? I used to eat lunch with them that they provided and now I'll be eating lunch at my place. When I've worked until 7:30 or 8 before they've always told me to eat with the kids and now I'm wondering if it's too unprofessional to ask. For the record I usually eat dinner around 6 or 6:30pm and I'm starved by then. I can't imagine making the families food and watching the kids eat it and then having to wait 2 hours to eat myself. Any advice or suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. TIA!

[Anonymous]

MB here. I cannot imagine having you work those hours and not expecting that you would be eating with my kids.

Just say "I assume you're fine w/ me eating with the kids the, given the new schedule?" And unless they're nuts they will say "Of course!"

[Anonymous]

If the parents eat or not with their kids is not your businesses, if you are not happy with their schedule just change job! Easy!

[Anonymous]

If the family used to provide your lunches, I can't imagine them having a problem with now providing you dinner.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the responses. I'm going to talk to the mom today and see how it goes. I just didn't want to ask if the consensus was that it was inappropriate.

The only reason I mentioned that the parents don't eat dinner with the kids was to point out I wouldn't be taking away from special family time as that has been a big issue of MB's on here lately. And I wouldn't want to take that time away from them. Plus, the kids are constantly getting up from the table and take forever to finish their dinners. So I'm thinking this would be beneficial for the kids to see proper behavior modeled.

[Anonymous]

You could always bring something to eat with you if they don want to provide the meal.

[Anonymous]

Either eat with the kids or bring your own food to eatat the same time. I can't imagine either scenario being a problem.

[Anonymous]

If I were the employer I would expect that you would eat with the kids, especially if you are making dinner.

[Anonymous]

As long as you ate at the same pace as the kids I'd feel fine about you eating with them.

[Anonymous]

I am almost positive that the parents are just assuming you will eat w/the kids.

However, if it makes you feel better you can always talk to the mother just to confirm.

And yes, bring along a snack to hold you until seven.

[Anonymous]

"MB here. I cannot imagine having you work those hours and not expecting that you would be eating with my kids.

Just say "I assume you're fine w/ me eating with the kids the, given the new schedule?" And unless they're nuts they will say "Of course!"
"

+1

[Anonymous]

I work until 7. I don't eat with the kids only because it is the only meal I can sit down and enjoy. If its a late night, I will eat after I put them to bed. However, in your health issue I would just ask your MB. I really do not see it being a problem. Good Luck

[Anonymous]

If they don't want you eating what they are having for dinner, some families like to have leftovers for lunch and such. You could always bring your own food, something quick and easy that you can make at the same time, prepared food that just needs heating, or anything really that won't take too much attention and time seat from the kids. You don't have to go the entire time without eating if they don't allow you to eat their food. I've worked for families who always say help yourself to any of our food but no matter what time I'm working I usually bring my own food. There are occasions that I forget my food or didn't have time to prepare something and will use nf's food but that's rare. You could also ask if you can keep some items in their pantry, fridge/freezer that way you always have options for yourself