New nanny about to start old nanny now wants to stay - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Our current nanny who we love told us months in advance she wanted to leave because the hours were going down now that our youngest will be in school more. I went about hiring a new nanny to start in September. With the transition approaching our current nanny has changed her mind. The new nanny is lovely. The current nanny we love. We wouldn't have changed if she hadn't told us she wanted to leave.

I feel terrible firing the perfectly good nanny who was about to start but why put my family through the transition if I don't have to. The current nanny has told us she will commit through the school year. What to do? Nannys how do you feel about a job being pulled out from under you (the new nanny situation) or an employer who wouldn't give you a second chance to keep a job that works (current nanny).

[Anonymous]

festival you have to have respect and consideration for This nanny,if you sure you don't want her to be your nanny you have to find for her a wonderful family if not ,this new nanny can take you at the court ,this is very serious...
Think about that ,you can't ruin people life.
By the way I am a nanny too.

[Anonymous]

The new nanny cannot take me to court. She's not even our employee at this time. But I find it interesting that as a nanny you are more concerned about losing a job you were expecting than having no choice to stay in a job you like. Thank you for your perspective.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and it happened to me once. I feel bad but I found new family but later they ask me again if I am available since their nanny again decided to leave. So just make sure your old nanny will commit through the school year.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed if I declined other jobs for your job and you were pulling your offer. I understand, situations change, but a commitment is a commitment.
Can you help her find a new family?
I would also be worried that the current nanny didn't find a suitable job and wants to stay until she found a good job with better hours.

[Anonymous]

I'd be most worried that your old nanny will bail when she finds a new job with more hours. Between the two, it sounds like you'll have to let someone down, and it's much harder to let down the wonderful nanny you already have a relationship with. But she made a choice and you responded by finding a new nanny. I don't know what I would do in your shoes! This is a tough one. But I guess I'd ask myself whether old nanny will really be happy with the new hours or whether she'll leave as soon as she finds something. And also consider what you'll do next summer.

[Anonymous]

What if she changes her mind again? You will have to start the process all over again and may not find a great replacement or your current nanny may not give enough notice.

I would explain to your current nanny that has much as you love her you have to stick to your commitments. Maybe she can do baby sitting for you so she still sees the kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I trust our current nanny and she's not really looking for full time so its not so much that she'll bail as that she'll be making a sacrifice that may not be in her best interest. That said, I think she realized the difficulty of sacrificing salary vs. sacrificing to the whims of a family that she would not feel as connected to. In the end I called the new nanny to ask if she had any doubts. She didn't and I didn't have it in me to pull the rug out from under her since she has strengths that made us want to hire her in the first place. She'll still going to start. And I guess she realizes she has big shoes to fill. I asked that if she take anything away from our awkward conversation she should know that I love the people who work for me and deal with things honestly. I also called our current nanny who was understanding. I think of everyone I got the short end of the stick, but I hope it works out.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you made the best decision you could given the situation. Someone was going to end up not being happy at the end of the day but the important thing is that you have a nanny who is committed to where you are at in your childcare needs.

[Anonymous]

That was a great way to handle it OP. Also what I would have done in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I trust our current nanny and she's not really looking for full time so its not so much that she'll bail as that she'll be making a sacrifice that may not be in her best interest. That said, I think she realized the difficulty of sacrificing salary vs. sacrificing to the whims of a family that she would not feel as connected to. In the end I called the new nanny to ask if she had any doubts. She didn't and I didn't have it in me to pull the rug out from under her since she has strengths that made us want to hire her in the first place. She'll still going to start. And I guess she realizes she has big shoes to fill. I asked that if she take anything away from our awkward conversation she should know that I love the people who work for me and deal with things honestly. I also called our current nanny who was understanding. I think of everyone I got the short end of the stick, but I hope it works out.

How in the world did you come to this conclusion?

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB an I was in almost the exact same situation as you except our previous nanny left because we needed to increase the hours rather than decrease them. Shortly before the new nanny was to start she changed her mind and decided she wanted to stay even with the increase in hours. It was a very hard decision because we loved the first nanny but ultimately we decided it wasn't fair to the nanny we had just hired. I knew she had turned down other offers for us so I felt like we had to honor our commitment to her. It was a hard transition and I second guessed my decision a lot in the first few weeks but now, 2 months in, I have no regrets

[Anonymous]

I understand your predicament OP, but to be fair, you hired a new nanny and it would be really unfair of you to let her go just because your former nanny changed her mind. Sure, in theory it would be much easier to hold on to the former nanny, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

Your former nanny made a decision and she needs to learn that there are consequences to the things she says + does. Tough cookies for sure.

Do the right thing and keep your new nanny and let you former nanny know that while you love her and all, you cannot simply dishonor your commitment to someone else just because she had a change of heart. That is not the type of person you are.

[Anonymous]

I had a situation where I gave notice a couple months in advance, due to my husband relocating for a job. The family hired a new nanny and then my husband's job fell through and we would not be moving. I had a choice, did I ask my bosses to not hire this nanny and stay, or do I honor my decision to leave the job? I honored my decision to leave the job. Yes, it sucked leaving the job, but it would have been unfair to the new nanny who had already gave notice on her job.

[Anonymous]

A family hired me based on my interview alone. I provided references from several families I had worked for in the past and because the hiring family had trouble speaking with all my references in a weeks time frame they retracted the job offer.

My interviews are always strong and during that particular job search I was offered every single job I had interviewed for. My references are also great but because I stick with families for 2+years my older references are less likely to return phone calls although they eventually will. Goes without saying but my background and driving record is clean and the hiring family was able to speak with my last employer with no problem.

Having that job offered retracted devastated me and it turned my financial situation upside down. Having already made thanks but no thanks phone calls I had to begin my search all over again. Most nannies (and young Washingtonians) live paycheck to paycheck without much buffer so I would really consider this when making a decision.

Transitioning is hard but it makes little sense to forgo this if is inevitable. Have you offered your current nanny more hours?