Severance pay question

[Anonymous]

Our family had an excellent relationship with our first long term nanny (over 6 years) and when she decided to return to her home country we were all heartbroken and gave her a generous severance package that reflected her many wonderful years of service.

Our current nanny has been with us for under a year and her husbands job requires her to move so she has resigned. The relationship with her has not been great. She is and has always been wonderful with the kids but generally rude and dismissive to my husband and I (routinely in front of our children - won't say hello, good bye or look us in the eye when we talk to her, keeps headphones on with music when we try to chat and explain upcoming plans). She is routinely late, very reluctant to do agreed tasks (all related to kids only). never once uttered an apology for lateness or other mistakes. I appreciate that the fact that all this went on for almost a year is my failing. We did often sit down to discuss issues and they imporved for a while but would fall back into the same patterns. She was great with my kids and I valued this the most over the issues with my own personal interaction with her.
Over the 10 months together we have altered the schedule and hours at her request. We have given more hours and money and then less hours as she wanted and needed for her personal commitments. She is currently on a part time schedule for the summer and will move at the end of the summer and stop working with us then. It will be less than 12 months when she finishes her time with us.

To date we have given end of year gifts with a bonus payments and birthday gifts and bonus payments (yes I appreciate we may have been sending the wrong message by rewarding behavior we were not thrilled with, we genuinely wanted the relationship to work and for it to improve and last, we are conscious of the impact the change may have on our kids and their attachment. That is a priority for us)

We would ordinarily consider some form of severance and gift for somneone leaving the job with us. In the circumstances I am not sure what is appropriate.

Any thoughts on how you might handle this would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

[Anonymous]

No severance. Some pleasant parting gift and card. Put up a good front for the kids and then move on happily.

[Anonymous]

I agree. No severance necessary, given the circumstances and because she is quitting not being let go. Make how you say good bye about your children. Show them how to gracefully say good bye, and help them find closure. That may mean a card from the kids acknowledging the fun they had, and a thank you from you. It may mean taking some pictures of her with them, for them to look back on. It means letting them bake cupcakes for her last day. Just make it about them and what they need to do to feel good about saying goodbye.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't give severance. Less than a year, and a shitty year where she's repeatedly shown through her actions she doesn't respect you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

OP here - not a troll. a real question. I have rarely been on DCUM but what I have seen is that expectations vary wildly and I was considering some severance and my husband was not. Our only prior experience was very different. Thanks to the other posters for the feedback without attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

OP here - not a troll. a real question. I have rarely been on DCUM but what I have seen is that expectations vary wildly and I was considering some severance and my husband was not. Our only prior experience was very different. Thanks to the other posters for the feedback without attitude.

What's your profession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

OP here - not a troll. a real question. I have rarely been on DCUM but what I have seen is that expectations vary wildly and I was considering some severance and my husband was not. Our only prior experience was very different. Thanks to the other posters for the feedback without attitude.

What's your profession?

How is the OPs profession relevant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

You are the "poster who cried troll". It seems like you are on EVERY thread accusing people of being trolls! Get a new hobby, please.

[Anonymous]

Severance is not necessary when the employee has quit - it's for when you dismiss the employee.

Zero need for severance. You can have a nice little farewell thing for the kids' benefit but you're not on the hook for anything given the behavior you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Severance is not necessary when the employee has quit - it's for when you dismiss the employee.

Zero need for severance. You can have a nice little farewell thing for the kids' benefit but you're not on the hook for anything given the behavior you describe.

I agree.
I really can't imagine anyone being so confused about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Severance is not necessary when the employee has quit - it's for when you dismiss the employee.

Zero need for severance. You can have a nice little farewell thing for the kids' benefit but you're not on the hook for anything given the behavior you describe.

I agree.
I really can't imagine anyone being so confused about it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Severance is not necessary when the employee has quit - it's for when you dismiss the employee.

Zero need for severance. You can have a nice little farewell thing for the kids' benefit but you're not on the hook for anything given the behavior you describe.

I agree.
I really can't imagine anyone being so confused about it.

+1

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need for severance, but you already know that. You sound a lot like our troll poster, with stories that are way too long.

OP here - not a troll. a real question. I have rarely been on DCUM but what I have seen is that expectations vary wildly and I was considering some severance and my husband was not. Our only prior experience was very different. Thanks to the other posters for the feedback without attitude.

What's your profession?

How is the OPs profession relevant?

Curious what kind of professional would have this kind of question.

[Anonymous]

Considering you have already done more than enough in my opinion for this woman, I would just bid her a civil "farewell" and part ways.

No severance required or expected. Not even a $5 giftcard to Starbucks.

I say good riddance.