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[quote=Anonymous]Our family had an excellent relationship with our first long term nanny (over 6 years) and when she decided to return to her home country we were all heartbroken and gave her a generous severance package that reflected her many wonderful years of service.

Our current nanny has been with us for under a year and her husbands job requires her to move so she has resigned.  The relationship with her has not been great.  She is and has always been wonderful with the kids but generally rude and dismissive to my husband and I (routinely in front of our children - won't say hello, good bye or look us in the eye when we talk to her, keeps headphones on with music when we try to chat and explain upcoming plans).  She is routinely late, very reluctant to do agreed tasks (all related to kids only). never once uttered an apology for lateness or other mistakes.  I appreciate that the fact that all this went on for almost a year is my failing.  We did often sit down to discuss issues and they imporved for a while but would fall back into the same patterns.  She was great with my kids and I valued this the most over the issues with my own personal interaction with her.  
Over the 10 months together we have altered the schedule and hours at her request.  We have given more hours and money and then less hours as she wanted and needed for her personal commitments.  She is currently on a part time schedule for the summer and will move at the end of the summer and stop working with us then.  It will be less than 12 months when she finishes her time with us.

To date we have given end of year gifts with a bonus payments and birthday gifts and bonus payments (yes I appreciate we may have been sending the wrong message by rewarding behavior we were not thrilled with, we genuinely wanted the relationship to work and for it to improve and last, we are conscious of the impact the change may have on our kids and their attachment. That is a priority for us)

We would ordinarily consider some form of severance and gift for somneone leaving the job with us. In the circumstances I am not sure what is appropriate.

Any thoughts on how you might handle this would be appreciated.[/quote]

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