this might be petty... but...

[Anonymous]

My son's birthday was this weekend and my nanny of six months didn't do anything... not even a card. She came in and didn't even ask how his weekend/birthday was. What makes it upsetting is that he spent half of his birthday with his last nanny who adores him and came to visit him (even though she is no longer a nanny) and brought him a small, but thoughtful card and present. We have had numerous babysitters that have made a bigger deal out of his birthday. It was just strange. This is from someone studying child development and very proud of her relationships with kids and former families. This doesn't reflect on her abilities, but it rubs me the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

I'll go get the popcorn. OP you're about to get eaten alive.

I'm sorry you feel bad about it and if I were your nanny I'd have acknowledged his birthday but maybe your nanny is really flat broke, embarrassed about it and thought it would be better to ignore it than to explain why she doesn't have a gift.

[Anonymous]

About how many birthday gifts did your son get?

[Anonymous]

Did you invite her to the party?

[Anonymous]

I get it... it's not about a gift... it's about a child care giver... actually giving thought and making someone feel good. It sounds like OP doesn't want gifts, just an acknowledgement. I'd be upset too.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks for the responses. To clarify, the nanny is the one studying child development and who is very proud of how much she does for her families and talks about it, a lot. Not about gifts at all, just recognition. It was more strange than anything else, particularly because former nanny made such a big deal about wanting to see him.

And yes, she was invited to the party - but it was at shadowlands. He is not a young kid either - he turned 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the responses. To clarify, the nanny is the one studying child development and who is very proud of how much she does for her families and talks about it, a lot. Not about gifts at all, just recognition. It was more strange than anything else, particularly because former nanny made such a big deal about wanting to see him.

And yes, she was invited to the party - but it was at shadowlands. He is not a young kid either - he turned 8.

I'm going to be flat out honest. I a am nanny of three kids and I absolutely hate going to the kid's birthdays. One because it's all family and friends who I have no to little connection with. Two, because nine times out of ten, friends and family think it's okay to pawn their kids off on me. Three, it's my day off and the last thing I want to do when I am off is return "work".

I do make appearances at the parties but I never stay the whole time. I do however make sure I celebrate the child's birthday during my work week before the party. We make a cake together, they get a card, and something very small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for the responses. To clarify, the nanny is the one studying child development and who is very proud of how much she does for her families and talks about it, a lot. Not about gifts at all, just recognition. It was more strange than anything else, particularly because former nanny made such a big deal about wanting to see him.

And yes, she was invited to the party - but it was at shadowlands. He is not a young kid either - he turned 8.

Newsflash, she's not your former nanny.

[Anonymous]

Your new nanny was wrong. A birthday is a big deal to a child and she absolutely should have acknowledged it for the child's sake. This is a bad nanny, OP, wait and watch for other signs of her disconnect to your child as time goes by. It's not about not coming to his birthday party(maybe she had other family obligations) it is about not acknowledging his birthday at all. Very cruel.

And I am a nanny, btw.

[Anonymous]

Fire her. Isn't that the go-to action here?

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't take this personally at all.

Some nannies do not mix business with pleasure for certain reasons and it has no bearing on her feelings toward your son.

For instance, perhaps in the past she did something personal for another charge on his/her birthday and the family looked down on it and so from now on she refrains from doing anything because now she thinks it is improper, etc. You just never know.

Or perhaps she is having financial issues and cannot afford to buy your son a gift and didn't want to mention his birthday to him because then she would have felt awkward having not bought him a gift so it would have been just easier for her to just not mention it at all.

Of she could be having her own personal/family issues going on at home and could be just distracted.

Try not to be so judgmental OP.

As long as she cares for your son in a loving and responsible manner, shows up on time and is reliable and trustworthy, then you have nothing really to complain about.

It is unfair for you to compare her to other nannies.
You do not compare oranges to apples, do you?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's a Jehovah's Witness.

[Anonymous]

She may ask your son about it during the day or do a little something for him. I wouldn't worry about it if it wasn't the first thing she asked about when she came in. Now, if she ends up not saying anything at all about it, chalk it up to bad manners and move on.

[Anonymous]

I always acknowledge birthdays but don't buy gifts. In fact, I usually make cupcakes or something from scratch using ingredients from the family's pantry. Kids don't much care about cards and they have way too many toys to begin with so I would not feel obligated to do either. As far as parties, I need my days off and time away from my charge and I have a hard time standing by while MB works. Even if MB didn't put me to work it would be awkward to just stand there and watch her serve, clean, change diapers, stress out, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, how did you acknowledge (or will you) acknowledge the Nanny's birthday?