Feeling like MB/DB don't trust me.

[Anonymous]

I have this problem ever since I started. I have been a nanny for many families over the last 5 years and never encountered this situation. MB/DB raved about how they loved my experience and knowledge when they offered my the job. Almost immediately after both MB/DB have told me ( and asked) how and if I know how to make a bottle, prepare breastmilk, put on a schedule, keep entertained, hit milestones, etc. They are both first time parents and I chalked it up to reassurance on their part. Now I'm not so sure. Today we started my charge on formula. DB is like " you know how to make one right? Put 1 scoop to 2oz, etc?" I politely replied " I am well-educated with making bottles. I have been doing so for many years." He just replied " I know you have". MB is sort of another story. She used to ask my opinions but not so much anymore. Now I will inform her of how much food he should be eating, how to get him on a schedule, etc and she will go " research" and then tell me the exact same information I've told her days earlier. They have told me how they trust my judgement and they know my charge is in good hands. I now am feeling like I'm their kid sister and they either don't respect or trust my opinions. It makes me feel they think I'm dumb. I don't know if I should take it personal or not? Both MB/DB are well- respected people that are normally " in charge". I feel like I don't want to give my opinions any longer because they won't be respected or regarded. Please tell me whats going on here? Prefer other MB/DB to respond.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to add that I've been with this family for 6 months.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

Sounds to me like OP is trolling off the first time mom post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

Funny but I would like more of an answer. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

Sounds to me like OP is trolling off the first time mom post

I'm OP and I'm not a damn troll. Get off my page if you can't give me an educated opinion. So sick of people like you who have nothing better to do than write troll for ever post. Get a life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

Funny but I would like more of an answer. Thanks.

Then ask her, but don't expect the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds to me, like MB really wants your job.

Funny but I would like more of an answer. Thanks.

Then ask her, but don't expect the truth.

I meant more of an answer and opinion from posters, not MB.

[Anonymous]

They sound very reasonable to me. You may not have used formula before, etc.

[Anonymous]

Troll post, pure garbage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll post, pure garbage

Yep. It's the McLean $10 coupon nanny. Sweet.

[Anonymous]

You people are ridiculous. I'm not a damn troll so go back to whatever bridge you came from. This is a genuine post and I'm looking for genuine answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are ridiculous. I'm not a damn troll so go back to whatever bridge you came from. This is a genuine post and I'm looking for genuine answers.

Then ASK her, honey.

[Anonymous]

MB here. OP, my hunch would be that you're dealing with first time parents, first time employers of nannies, people who are used to being in control and knowing what to do who are now out of their element, people who are nervous and trying to figure out how to be parents/employers/etc...

Don't take it personally would be my first, and major advice.

Do give it time.

Do ask for a "touch base" kind of conversation. "Are you comfortable with our working relationship? Are you comfortable with the level of care I'm providing? I see my role as supporting you both as parents, but I also have lots of years experience in working w/ infants, so I'm not sure how much you would like me to offer suggestions or would you prefer I not do that?"

You might need to subtly provide some support for the parents - telling them how great they're doing, how in your experience the first year for new parents is always an amazing time, that kind of thing...

I would really bet it's just insecurity, on a bunch of levels, that's fueling their behavior. I was a first time parent trying to figure all of this out, but with a work background that made me feel like I had to seem like I knew what I was doing at all times. And there's tons of societal pressure on new moms to do everything perfectly. So allowing the expert you've hired to care for your kids can be weirdly difficult. You almost feel like a failure if someone else is telling you how much your child should be eating (or whatever), even though rationally you know that's silly.

Try to find little ways to let the parents feel empowered, and try to remember that they're probably threatened by your competence - even though that's exactly what they hired you for.

If they're decent rational people they will settle down. If they're neurotic micromanaging nightmares you'll figure that out soon enough.

Good luck. I think this probably has to be a really tough part of being a nanny - I'm so much more experienced as an MB now than I was a couple of years ago, but only time taught me how to do it well. I struggled with all the things I listed above in the beginning, and I know many other mothers who've said similar things to me. It doesn't mean we don't value and appreciate you tremendously, it just means we're all nervous and insecure.

So hang in there, don't take it personally, and try to approach it as one more area where you have more experience. Hopefully they will settle down.

[Anonymous]

Get your next job lined up.