Would you hire a sex abuse survivor as your nanny?
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Anonymous
| I was responding to another thread and realized some parents may not have an issue hiring me despite this dark patch of my childhood upbringing. Basically, I have NEVER told a parent about my childhood. It isn't that I am uncomfortable with it. I talk openly about it with friends. But, something tells me that my pride in being a strong, confident, and successful SURVIVOR and not just a victim would not stand out to parents. With media sensationalizing stories of victims turned perpetrators I always believed my truth is simply less compelling then the fiction that I will hurt someone's kids. |
Anonymous
| I'm a physical and sexual abuse survivor, and my employers don't know. They are aware that I have a strained relationship with my parents but they do not know why. I have only had one potential employer ask about my childhood/relationship with my parents, and she was a whackadoo. My guess is that a lot of ignorant people will say that they wouldn't hire someone with this past, but honestly they probably just wouldn't know about it. |
Anonymous
| Sex abuse is a personal thing and can be highly charged. You never know where another person is coming from on this. Some things don't belong in the workplace. This is one of them. That doesn't have anything to do with your personal history, OP. |
Anonymous
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MB here. I would hire you. I don't judge people on their past unless they were a criminal.
That said, this might be one of those things that is best left not discussed. Too many people do judge or will use your past to question things you do. I never ask a nanny about her family or past unless she brings it up. Too many people have things in their past that are none of my business (I don't ask non employees either). If a nanny's past is going to negatively impact her ability to take care of her charges, it will be evident without knowing her history |
Anonymous
| I feel you are using the word "survivor" very liberally here. |
Anonymous
Survivor is the accepted term for those who have survived (see how that works?) abuse. Don't be a dick. I would not be concerned if I found out my nanny had had a childhood like that, but I agree with previous posters that it's personal business and probably best not to disclose. At the very least, not until you have been working for your family for a while and have the kind of relationship where it's appropriate. |
Anonymous
What does this mean?? |
Anonymous
Just because someone goes through something not nice doesn't make them a survivor. It's annoying how this gets thrown around so much. |
Anonymous
You're right, the word "survivor" shouldn't be used for people who have been through things that are merely "not nice". It's generally reserved for people who have been through truly terrible things, like sex abuse, cancer, and other horrors. OP, if I had reason to know someone had been abused before they interviewed with me, I don't think it would factor into my decision. On the other hand, if it came up in an interview or early on in an employer-employee relationship, I'd worry about boundaries and it would make me less likely to hire that person. |
Anonymous
| I think anyone who goes through any type of abuse and comes out the other end as a functioning member of society is a survivor. Now if OP was an alcoholic because of the abuse, I would not use the term survivor. But she seems to be doing pretty damn well so I say she qualifies as a survivor. |
Anonymous
| Please do not ever tell your employers this sad bit of information about your past. Please. Right or wrong, I would be afraid you would abuse my children. |
Anonymous
| I don't know how this would come up in an interview unless you brought it up, OP. If you did, I would wonder why you thought it was necessary to emphasize it. I have had a few nanny candidates try to impress us right away with what great child advocates they are by telling us right away that, for them, the children come first, they are mandatory child abuse reporters (yes, all nannies are), volunteer regularly with anti-abuse groups, etc. I sense that they have a personal experience with abuse and they are eager to share it with me. |
Anonymous
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I would not hire someone who told me in their interview that they were sexually abused because that's something really personal, and not appropriate to A. Say in an interview, or B. Say to someone you're just meeting.
-MB who was sexually abused |
Anonymous
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why is this a question? why would your NF want/need to know something so personal about you? I would not hire if you disclosed this information to me in an interview because (1) it is incredibly unprofessional (2) if you feel the need to bring it up in an interview you are clearly not finished working through the issues and I assume it would affect your work if you are telling somebody about it that you just met
-- Nanny who was sexually abused |
Anonymous
| It is none of their business so why would you tell them? |