Would you hire a sex abuse survivor as your nanny? RSS feed

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Please do not ever tell your employers this sad bit of information about your past. Please. Right or wrong, I would be afraid you would abuse my children.


I wouldn't have a problem hearing about this from a nanny who had been with us for a while and had performed competently. Bad things happen to good people and if she had been able to work through it, I would be supportive and sympathetic. Just because someone has been abused does not mean they become abusers.
Anonymous
OP here. I have NEVER brought it up in an interview. I also have never brought it up after years of working with a family and not after being asked what my own childhood was like or how my parents approached discipline. Honestly, if the questions don't end with my politely steering away from the subject then I just lie - "childhood was so amazing and I wish I was a kid again." So, it sounds like my hunch was on point and that I was right to assume its better left in the closet. FWIW I do believe some people would care and even some parents would feel they have a right to know.
Anonymous
Your place of employment should never know this about you, disclosing it would be over sharing no matter where you worked. If I googled you and saw some court records or advocacy work you'd done I would have no problem hiring you. If you told me about this I would question your judgment and pass on you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Please do not ever tell your employers this sad bit of information about your past. Please. Right or wrong, I would be afraid you would abuse my children.


You would be an ignorant ass than. Most survivors abuse themselves, they have no interest in your snowflakes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please do not ever tell your employers this sad bit of information about your past. Please. Right or wrong, I would be afraid you would abuse my children.


I wouldn't have a problem hearing about this from a nanny who had been with us for a while and had performed competently. Bad things happen to good people and if she had been able to work through it, I would be supportive and sympathetic. Just because someone has been abused does not mean they become abusers.


Better safe than sorry though right. That is the standard chorus.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please do not ever tell your employers this sad bit of information about your past. Please. Right or wrong, I would be afraid you would abuse my children.


I wouldn't have a problem hearing about this from a nanny who had been with us for a while and had performed competently. Bad things happen to good people and if she had been able to work through it, I would be supportive and sympathetic. Just because someone has been abused does not mean they become abusers.


Better safe than sorry though right. That is the standard chorus.


No, as I said, I just don't want to have the nanny bring it up herself in the interview. I would not have a problem with her mentioning it if the subject came up after she had worked for us for a while.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have NEVER brought it up in an interview. I also have never brought it up after years of working with a family and not after being asked what my own childhood was like or how my parents approached discipline. Honestly, if the questions don't end with my politely steering away from the subject then I just lie - "childhood was so amazing and I wish I was a kid again." So, it sounds like my hunch was on point and that I was right to assume its better left in the closet. FWIW I do believe some people would care and even some parents would feel they have a right to know.

Some of them also think they have a right to know what you did with your husband last night.
Anonymous
MB here and I agree with most PP MBs, if I knew I would still hire you BUT I also don't think it's any of my business and I might find it odd if you disclosed this during an interview or at the beginning of our relationship. If you were with us for years and you told me I'd probably feel honored that you trusted me with this information. That's just me though, other MBs and nannies might think it is never appropriate.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:MB here and I agree with most PP MBs, if I knew I would still hire you BUT I also don't think it's any of my business and I might find it odd if you disclosed this during an interview or at the beginning of our relationship. If you were with us for years and you told me I'd probably feel honored that you trusted me with this information. That's just me though, other MBs and nannies might think it is never appropriate.


And another MB agreeing with this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:MB here and I agree with most PP MBs, if I knew I would still hire you BUT I also don't think it's any of my business and I might find it odd if you disclosed this during an interview or at the beginning of our relationship. If you were with us for years and you told me I'd probably feel honored that you trusted me with this information. That's just me though, other MBs and nannies might think it is never appropriate.


And another MB agreeing with this.

Another Nanny in agreement. Healthy boundaries are critical to any successful relationship.
Anonymous
Nope, never. You keep your personal stuff personal.
Anonymous
I would not.

Not because it happened to you, but becaus I'd feel that if you brought it up in an interview then it is likely something that is still an unresolved problem for you that is a big enough deal to share very private info with a near stranger. I wouldn't worry about you doing anything to a child, but I would worry your issues could inadvertently be an issue on the job. I'd also wonder what else you were over sharing to other people.

There's nothing wrong with you. This happened TO you. It is not something that should be shared with an employer and definitely not a prospective employer.
Anonymous
Sex abuse survivor = future sex offender.

Sad but true, I wouldn't risk my family to employ you. Not saying you deserve to be unemployed, but being a nanny is not appropriate for you. Sorry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Sex abuse survivor = future sex offender.

Sad but true, I wouldn't risk my family to employ you. Not saying you deserve to be unemployed, but being a nanny is not appropriate for you. Sorry.


Troll
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sex abuse survivor = future sex offender.

Sad but true, I wouldn't risk my family to employ you. Not saying you deserve to be unemployed, but being a nanny is not appropriate for you. Sorry.


Troll


Look up the statistics. Some 90% of abusers have been abused themselves. This behavior doesn't come from nowhere.
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