Do I tell my bosses that my relationship has ended?

[Anonymous]

My long term relationship (7 years) is over.
I will be moving in with a friend until I can get my own place.
It is a very trying time for me right now, but it will in no way affect the way I do my job.
They know and like my ex-bf and will probably ask what happened. I really don't want to get into it.
When do I tell them about this?
I don't want them to think of me any differently.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mention it just yet. Wait until after the rawness is gone and it's a done deal. If your employers contact you by your cell there is no reason for them to know right now. It's far more professional to keep your personal life out of your job completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't mention it just yet. Wait until after the rawness is gone and it's a done deal. If your employers contact you by your cell there is no reason for them to know right now. It's far more professional to keep your personal life out of your job completely.

Thanks PP. That's what I thought too.

[Anonymous]

I agree - I wouldn't tell them either.

I like my MB/DB a great deal and have a good working relationship with them but I never mention more than a polite response to their queries my personal life.

[Anonymous]

They don't have to know until they need your new address for something. Maybe not until tax time? I expect there will be a natural point sometime between now and then where it will come up. No need to force it either way. Hope hugs from the kiddos are helping.

[Anonymous]

I think it would depend on your relationship with the family. I've had families that wanted to know nothing about my personal life and others, I have been close to.
With my last family, I waited a couple of days to say anything, just so I could process it a bit. But they knew something was off, so for them to know was a big help to them. MB even offered to stay home with the kids so I could have time to deal with it. But like I said, every nanny/family relationship is different.

[Anonymous]

Why would you ever tell your boss about your personal life???? Hello boundaries!!! I've been at my job for 8 years and for all I know they think I'm a lonely
Lesbian because I would never dream of bringing my personal life to work. Nannies who want to be treated like peofessionals need to act professional. I have a gut wrenching heartbreaking breakup my second year on the job and never said a word. People on this site ways say nannies like me are lying when we say we make $30/hr but its because we are professionals. Leave your personal life at home and grow up. If they find out they will ask you, or maybe they won't because perhaps unlike you? Your bosses have BOUNDARIES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you ever tell your boss about your personal life???? Hello boundaries!!! I've been at my job for 8 years and for all I know they think I'm a lonely
Lesbian because I would never dream of bringing my personal life to work. Nannies who want to be treated like peofessionals need to act professional. I have a gut wrenching heartbreaking breakup my second year on the job and never said a word. People on this site ways say nannies like me are lying when we say we make $30/hr but its because we are professionals. Leave your personal life at home and grow up. If they find out they will ask you, or maybe they won't because perhaps unlike you? Your bosses have BOUNDARIES.

OP here.

1. Don't bitch about professionalism if you can't even spell it.

2. My employers know I "have" a boyfriend.
If I do it your way, I should just let them assume over the next 3-4 years we are still dating?
If my DB asks how my BF is or what we are doing over the weekend, I should just lie?

I'm not talking about spilling my heart to them, although we have a very personal relationship.
I'm talking about letting them know that BF and I are no longer together. They ask about him constantly. We all have dinner together monthly.

[Anonymous]

^^ You sound like a peach, no wonder you got dumped. It was a TYPO.

[Anonymous]

^^ (Not the typo poster but wanted to reply)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ You sound like a peach, no wonder you got dumped. It was a TYPO.

Piss off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ You sound like a peach, no wonder you got dumped. It was a TYPO.

What a horrid thing to say. You're just awful.

[Anonymous]

First and foremost OP, I am sorry for the break-up and what you are going through.

Breaking-up sucks for everyone involved and there is no pain like grief. Remember: There are no short-cuts to grief. Do not try to sweep it under the rug. Let yourself cry and feel sad. That is the only way you will effectively and properly heal.

All that aside, since your family knows your ex, I would just casually mention that you both have broken up and if they ask why (which by the way would be incredibly rude!!), I would just say it was a personal matter and it is too painful to discuss. They should respect you enough to leave it at that.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First and foremost OP, I am sorry for the break-up and what you are going through.

Breaking-up sucks for everyone involved and there is no pain like grief. Remember: There are no short-cuts to grief. Do not try to sweep it under the rug. Let yourself cry and feel sad. That is the only way you will effectively and properly heal.

All that aside, since your family knows your ex, I would just casually mention that you both have broken up and if they ask why (which by the way would be incredibly rude!!), I would just say it was a personal matter and it is too painful to discuss. They should respect you enough to leave it at that.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for being so kind PP!
I truly appreciate your kindness and advice.

[Anonymous]

I have an amazing relationship with my MB and DB. I was in a relationship for 5 years and then found out he cheated on me and we broke up last August and it was a VERY bad time for me. I was lucky enough to have this happen over a 4 day weekend because I literally laid in bed for 3 days crying and not wanting to talk to anyone and there was no way I would have been able to go into work. When I did go back to work, I didn't mention anything to MB about it but she did casually bring him up that week and I told her we broke up and she told me if I ever wanted to talk about it, to let her know. Obviously I never went into the full details but this past winter, MB told me she wanted to set me up with someone from her work. I politely declined as I wasn't ready to date and didn't really know how I felt about dating someone MB set me up with. My bf and I are back together now after working on things and all MB has said is she is glad things have worked out for me.

To the PP's who are so against sharing your personal life with your bosses...I'm sorry that you can't have good relationships with your bosses. I'm in their house and with their kids 50-60 hours a week and have been for almost 2 years now. We have all formed a very close bond and I love being able to talk to MB about things and have her vent to me about work, etc. I would HATE to work with a family where I couldn't talk to them about anything or where they felt like they couldn't vent to me either.

OP--I'd give yourself some time to get used to everything that is going on and once it's calmed down a bit, maybe then you can just casually talk about it if she asks. I'm sorry about your breakup.