Poaching a Nanny

[Anonymous]

Why is approaching a candidate that you may be interested in hiring considered a bad thing in this profession but not in other professions?

[Anonymous]

It's not a bad thing per se. But this is a profession where employers rely on their employee to be emotionally invested in their work (the charge) and because high turnover is a big problem for the child, a professional nanny wouldn't leave a job just because she found one that pays more. If she felt she was being underpaid or had other issues with the job, she should address that with her employers and try to renegotiate. If that doesn't work, then hopefully she would try to leave at a time (end of school year for example) and in a manner (as much notice as possible) that reflects concern for how the transition will affect the child(ren), rather than only concern about herself.

That said, there's no harm in approaching someone and saying, "We are looking for a nanny to start around X. I've seen you with your charge and you seem like a great nanny. If you might be available then, feel free to contact me (hand her card)."

The problem is:
1) If you have a relationship of any kind with her current employers, be prepared for them to be mad at you.
2) If you make your pitch by appealing to money ("Whatever they're paying you, I'll top it!"--and yes, this happens), then are you ever going to trust that your nanny has your/ your child's best interests in mind or is she just in it for the money.

While nannies should be fairly compensated, a great nanny is paying as much or more attention to fit as she is to compensation.

[Anonymous]

Because MBs think they own their nannies and that it's a personal slight for a nanny to leave for any reason, with money being the "worst" reason to leave.
I left a great family paying below market rate for one child let alone the 3 I was keeping for a family paying above market for 1 child. I feel no regret. In the end it's MY family I owe my loyalty to, not a nanny family.

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with "poaching" someone else's nanny! We are not property - we certainly should have the option to take any better offer (as you said) like we would in any other profession. MB's simply don't want to lose their nanny and made "poaching" into some sort of motherhood-mortal-sin.

As a nanny, I'd say I was approached every other week by another parent looking for a nanny. Once in the pediatrician's office when I was waiting for MB and charge to come out of their appointment. I love my charge and I get along great with my employers but I will consider any position that pays a great deal more than I'm making now. Who wouldn't?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think a lot of negativity surrounding it has to do with the fact that it is referred to as "poaching". Just makes it sound sneaky, dirty, wrong vs in the corporate world you may be contacted by a recruiter about a great opportunity they think you'd be interested in. Same idea, just one has a negatively connotative word attached to it while the other is fairly neutral.

[Anonymous]

I'm another nanny who frequently gets requests from other parents to quit and go to work for them - it's very flattering, please don't stop! I have a great job and family and am not looking, but that attentive, engaging nanny over there might be in the midst of her exit strategy and welcome your offer (or it may spur her into action in regards to her job satisfaction).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think a lot of negativity surrounding it has to do with the fact that it is referred to as "poaching". Just makes it sound sneaky, dirty, wrong vs in the corporate world you may be contacted by a recruiter about a great opportunity they think you'd be interested in. Same idea, just one has a negatively connotative word attached to it while the other is fairly neutral.

actually the corporate equivalent is head hunter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because MBs think they own their nannies and that it's a personal slight for a nanny to leave for any reason, with money being the "worst" reason to leave.
I left a great family paying below market rate for one child let alone the 3 I was keeping for a family paying above market for 1 child. I feel no regret. In the end it's MY family I owe my loyalty to, not a nanny family.

16:53 here. I don't think you should regret doing what works for you, but I do think that the fair thing if you feel you are not being compensated well is to address that with your current employer. There is a big difference between having the nanny lay out the issue and give them a chance to address it vs having the nanny act like everything is fine and then spring it on them out of the blue that she is quitting. Even if you feel confident that they can ot pay more, it gives them the chance to know that you are not fully satisfied.

And yes, I think quitting strictly for money is a sign of a low-quality nanny--a great nanny looks at long-term fit and compatibility, parenting style, age of children, location, duties, and many other things and a great nanny WANTS to be long term. A poor nanny doesn't care about switching jobs every other year as long as she can get the easiest gig for the most money.

--nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because MBs think they own their nannies and that it's a personal slight for a nanny to leave for any reason, with money being the "worst" reason to leave.
I left a great family paying below market rate for one child let alone the 3 I was keeping for a family paying above market for 1 child. I feel no regret. In the end it's MY family I owe my loyalty to, not a nanny family.

16:53 here. I don't think you should regret doing what works for you, but I do think that the fair thing if you feel you are not being compensated well is to address that with your current employer. There is a big difference between having the nanny lay out the issue and give them a chance to address it vs having the nanny act like everything is fine and then spring it on them out of the blue that she is quitting. Even if you feel confident that they can ot pay more, it gives them the chance to know that you are not fully satisfied.

And yes, I think quitting strictly for money is a sign of a low-quality nanny--a great nanny looks at long-term fit and compatibility, parenting style, age of children, location, duties, and many other things and a great nanny WANTS to be long term. A poor nanny doesn't care about switching jobs every other year as long as she can get the easiest gig for the most money.

--nanny

Oh, come off it. You're not a nanny at all. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because MBs think they own their nannies and that it's a personal slight for a nanny to leave for any reason, with money being the "worst" reason to leave.
I left a great family paying below market rate for one child let alone the 3 I was keeping for a family paying above market for 1 child. I feel no regret. In the end it's MY family I owe my loyalty to, not a nanny family.

16:53 here. I don't think you should regret doing what works for you, but I do think that the fair thing if you feel you are not being compensated well is to address that with your current employer. There is a big difference between having the nanny lay out the issue and give them a chance to address it vs having the nanny act like everything is fine and then spring it on them out of the blue that she is quitting. Even if you feel confident that they can ot pay more, it gives them the chance to know that you are not fully satisfied.

And yes, I think quitting strictly for money is a sign of a low-quality nanny--a great nanny looks at long-term fit and compatibility, parenting style, age of children, location, duties, and many other things and a great nanny WANTS to be long term. A poor nanny doesn't care about switching jobs every other year as long as she can get the easiest gig for the most money.

--nanny

TROLL

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone who posted that there is NOTHING wrong with "poaching" a nanny. I'm an attorney and I'm always contacted by other firms/corporations making inquiries about my (perhaps) wanting to come work for them. Everyone in business gets their experienced employees by "poaching" - otherwise everyone would be hired right out of college and stay with the same company for life.

Of course any person would want a job that "fits"! The above poster is ridiculous. Financial compensation is also ALWAYS a huge incentive to switch jobs in any field.

[Anonymous]

16:53/22:01 here. I am a nanny. I have quit jobs before that were just not working for me financially or otherwise, but I always sat down with the parents first and discussed my issues/concerns. I never blindsided them. And I always had a plan for how to help the children adjust to the transition. The last job I left, I quit part way through the school year. BUT, I had sat down with them before the school year started to discuss some concerns and we negotiated some changes to address them. When it became obvious that those changes were not going to be long term, I calles another meeting to ask for changes that would be enough for me to reasonably continue there until winter break, but was not satisfied with their answer. So, I found a new position , and gave my employers 4 weeks notice and offered to help with morning drop off through the holidays so that the children would still see me those 2-3 mornings a week, after having been their primary caregiver for 5 years. One of the reasons I quit was money, but if that had been the only reason, then I would have found a new job at a time that made it an easier transition for the kids (September, January, June).

A great nanny can feel confident that she will find what she needs, because an experienced nanny with glowing references will always be in demand in any major city, so. I don't see why you would have to jump on an offer right away rather than make the transition after warning your family you are unhappy, giving ample notice and choosing a time the makes the transition easiest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:53/22:01 here. I am a nanny. I have quit jobs before that were just not working for me financially or otherwise, but I always sat down with the parents first and discussed my issues/concerns. I never blindsided them. And I always had a plan for how to help the children adjust to the transition. The last job I left, I quit part way through the school year. BUT, I had sat down with them before the school year started to discuss some concerns and we negotiated some changes to address them. When it became obvious that those changes were not going to be long term, I calles another meeting to ask for changes that would be enough for me to reasonably continue there until winter break, but was not satisfied with their answer. So, I found a new position , and gave my employers 4 weeks notice and offered to help with morning drop off through the holidays so that the children would still see me those 2-3 mornings a week, after having been their primary caregiver for 5 years. One of the reasons I quit was money, but if that had been the only reason, then I would have found a new job at a time that made it an easier transition for the kids (September, January, June).

A great nanny can feel confident that she will find what she needs, because an experienced nanny with glowing references will always be in demand in any major city, so. I don't see why you would have to jump on an offer right away rather than make the transition after warning your family you are unhappy, giving ample notice and choosing a time the makes the transition easiest.

Of course - no one in any work situation or occupation should "jump" at any opportunity without careful research and planning. Doesn't that go without saying? But this thread is about what is wrong with poaching.

Answer - there is nothing wrong with "poaching". What and how the nanny decides to handle the offer is a completely different discussion.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes there isn't the time to give 4+ weeks notice. It's happened more than once that I've met an MB at some activity with my charge and have hit it off and she approaches me with a position in her home. Both of those times this MB needed a nanny in 2 weeks, so 2 weeks was all I really and truly had to give my current family. Both times I left for positions that lasted 18mos-2yrs.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is anything wrong with "poaching" on the nanny end. A nanny that is totally satisfied with her compensation, fit, position, etc is unlikely to switch jobs lightly. If she is unsatisfied with any of these, considering an alternative job offer is entirely reasonable.

I do think it's more problematic on the mb end. There are plenty of resources for finding nannies. Yes, it's difficult and time consuming. But that's why it is kind of low to intentionally mess up another family's childcare situation. Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't imagine that that kind of disregard for another person would also inform what type of employer you would be.

Again, no issue at all with a nanny initiating a job search or looking for better opportunities.