Poaching a Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything wrong with "poaching" on the nanny end. A nanny that is totally satisfied with her compensation, fit, position, etc is unlikely to switch jobs lightly. If she is unsatisfied with any of these, considering an alternative job offer is entirely reasonable.

I do think it's more problematic on the mb end. There are plenty of resources for finding nannies. Yes, it's difficult and time consuming. But that's why it is kind of low to intentionally mess up another family's childcare situation. Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't imagine that that kind of disregard for another person would also inform what type of employer you would be.

Again, no issue at all with a nanny initiating a job search or looking for better opportunities.

+1. I'm an MB and I agree. If the nanny is happy with her job she would have no interest in another one. I have more of a problem with MBs approaching a nanny. There are SO many ways to find a nanny why not use another resource?

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that I would not look very poorly per se on a nanny for being poached - she has a right to accept a better offer. But you bet that if I knew the MB who poached my kids would not be playing with hers again unless they were already inseparable. The bad behavior here is on the part if the poaching MB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that I would not look very poorly per se on a nanny for being poached - she has a right to accept a better offer. But you bet that if I knew the MB who poached my kids would not be playing with hers again unless they were already inseparable. The bad behavior here is on the part if the poaching MB.

This seems rather ridiculous. Why fault the other MB? She recognized a good nanny and made an offer of a job. If your nanny was happy with you and your kids she wouldn't accept the new position. The fact that a nanny leaves family A for family B says more about the dynamics of job A than anything else. You may feel your nanny is happy in her job but the facts she's leaving says otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that the MB doing said poaching is automatically a terrible person. This is business. Unless she is your friend, I think the responsibility for keeping your nanny happy is on the employer. It is said frequently that doing things that make your package unnattractive risks you losing your nanny, and its completely true. If you were offering your nanny what she is worth and treating her well, she wouldn't be able to be poached.

I get approached on a weekly basis. I plan to ask for a raise at the end of my current, and if refused I will be gone 3 weeks later. I love my charges and would be sad to go, but I have a responsibility to my own kid and husband to do what is best for us. If you don't want to lose your nanny, be prepared to play ball and don't blame others if you lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that the MB doing said poaching is automatically a terrible person. This is business. Unless she is your friend, I think the responsibility for keeping your nanny happy is on the employer. It is said frequently that doing things that make your package unnattractive risks you losing your nanny, and its completely true. If you were offering your nanny what she is worth and treating her well, she wouldn't be able to be poached.

I get approached on a weekly basis. I plan to ask for a raise at the end of my current, and if refused I will be gone 3 weeks later. I love my charges and would be sad to go, but I have a responsibility to my own kid and husband to do what is best for us. If you don't want to lose your nanny, be prepared to play ball and don't blame others if you lose.

Agreed!

[Anonymous]

Another MB here who sees no problem with poaching as it happens frequently in my industry. When you want the best talent, you go after them and employers compete for the best employees. I would do the same for my children. Yes, there are other ways to find a good nanny but if I knew a nanny who I had observed doing a great job and was dissatisfied with my current child care arrangement, I would have no problem approaching that nanny and finding out if she'd be interested in a position with my family. It is up to the nanny to decide if she is interested. I would rather hire someone I've observed doing a great job than someone I've only interviewed and done a reference check on. If people think that means I'm a terrible person, I can live with that.

[Anonymous]

Pp above who said the MB is acting in bad faith. I agree that it is not so bad (not great either though) to actively recruit a stranger. But if you know the MB in any way then yes it is very bad. Again, I would simply not have anything to do with them again if someone I knew poached my nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that I would not look very poorly per se on a nanny for being poached - she has a right to accept a better offer. But you bet that if I knew the MB who poached my kids would not be playing with hers again unless they were already inseparable. The bad behavior here is on the part if the poaching MB.

This seems rather ridiculous. Why fault the other MB? She recognized a good nanny and made an offer of a job. If your nanny was happy with you and your kids she wouldn't accept the new position. The fact that a nanny leaves family A for family B says more about the dynamics of job A than anything else. You may feel your nanny is happy in her job but the facts she's leaving says otherwise.

Lol, replace "nanny" with "man" and you have a perfect home wrecker argument. "If you were satisfying him, he wouldn't have been with me!" Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another MB here who sees no problem with poaching as it happens frequently in my industry. When you want the best talent, you go after them and employers compete for the best employees. I would do the same for my children. Yes, there are other ways to find a good nanny but if I knew a nanny who I had observed doing a great job and was dissatisfied with my current child care arrangement, I would have no problem approaching that nanny and finding out if she'd be interested in a position with my family. It is up to the nanny to decide if she is interested. I would rather hire someone I've observed doing a great job than someone I've only interviewed and done a reference check on. If people think that means I'm a terrible person, I can live with that.

You can't compare a corporate position with a nanny which is much more personal. A nanny works in your home and takes care of your children and approaching a nanny that you know has a position shows no regard for another family. It's not the same thing as a business. Yes, you have to do what's best for your own family and children but where do you draw the line. And honestly, it just seems lazy to "poach" another nanny. There are SO many ways to find an equally good nanny if you take the time and effort to do it. If the nanny isn't happy at her current job she is free to look for another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that I would not look very poorly per se on a nanny for being poached - she has a right to accept a better offer. But you bet that if I knew the MB who poached my kids would not be playing with hers again unless they were already inseparable. The bad behavior here is on the part if the poaching MB.

This seems rather ridiculous. Why fault the other MB? She recognized a good nanny and made an offer of a job. If your nanny was happy with you and your kids she wouldn't accept the new position. The fact that a nanny leaves family A for family B says more about the dynamics of job A than anything else. You may feel your nanny is happy in her job but the facts she's leaving says otherwise.

Lol, replace "nanny" with "man" and you have a perfect home wrecker argument. "If you were satisfying him, he wouldn't have been with me!" Etc.

If you expect the same level of commitment of your nanny as you do your husband, you're asking to get hurt. She's going to leave you eventually, hopefully your husband won't.

[Anonymous]

Far too many people opperate from a mentality of entitlement. "We'll do this as long as it's good for me." The hell with the commitment / agreement / contract. Not to mention how the children are the ultimate victims in UNSTABLE relationships. How selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another MB here who sees no problem with poaching as it happens frequently in my industry. When you want the best talent, you go after them and employers compete for the best employees. I would do the same for my children. Yes, there are other ways to find a good nanny but if I knew a nanny who I had observed doing a great job and was dissatisfied with my current child care arrangement, I would have no problem approaching that nanny and finding out if she'd be interested in a position with my family. It is up to the nanny to decide if she is interested. I would rather hire someone I've observed doing a great job than someone I've only interviewed and done a reference check on. If people think that means I'm a terrible person, I can live with that.

You can't compare a corporate position with a nanny which is much more personal. A nanny works in your home and takes care of your children and approaching a nanny that you know has a position shows no regard for another family. It's not the same thing as a business. Yes, you have to do what's best for your own family and children but where do you draw the line. And honestly, it just seems lazy to "poach" another nanny. There are SO many ways to find an equally good nanny if you take the time and effort to do it. If the nanny isn't happy at her current job she is free to look for another one.

As a nanny, I am commited to my charge but my own family just has to come first. The line is wherever I am best posiitoned to love and protect my own children and husband. You can help me to draw the line in your favor by keeping up with the market in temrs of pay and benefits. It would be selfish of any nanny to prioritize her career over her own family.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's unfair. My nanny deserves more than I can pay her. If she can get it elsewhere with a family who treats her well, I would absolutely counsel her to take that job.

Of course.