Neither of my new bosses ever introduces me by my name.

[Anonymous]

Hi, everyone. I am a new nanny working with first time parents. I've only been with them for less than three months.

My employers never introduce me to their family members, friends or doctors by my name. They always just say, "This is our nanny". A couple times, when the person I'm introduced to gives me their name I have responded with mine - but it's weird because I feel like I am correcting my boss.

The child doesn't call me "Nanny" - the child calls me by my nickname. When I return phone calls to them I never say, "This is nanny" but use my nickname. And it's not a weird name - it's pretty common like Annie or Patty (obviously neither one of those - but you get my drift).

Is this a sign of disrespect or is this commonly done? They seem like nice people and I don't want to see problems where none really are there.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say it is an intentional sign of disrespect, but when it is done to me I don't appreciate it. I had a boss that would introduce me as nanny, and though she was generally a nice woman, she was very aloof with me and I could tell that she felt me below her. Have you asked them to introduce you by name? That might be all that is necessary.

[Anonymous]

MB here.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just be clueless and ask them to include your name when introducing you.

I will confess that this issue had never occurred to me until I read about it on DCUM. I used to say "This is our nanny, Betsy." Now, after becoming (hopefully) a little more aware I say "This is Betsy Ross, Dick and Jane's nanny."

They probably just don't know better and don't mean any disrespect at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say it is an intentional sign of disrespect, but when it is done to me I don't appreciate it. I had a boss that would introduce me as nanny, and though she was generally a nice woman, she was very aloof with me and I could tell that she felt me below her. Have you asked them to introduce you by name? That might be all that is necessary.

No, I've never asked her or him to introduce me by name. I've never asked them for anything really - this is my first nanny job and I need to get a good recommendation from them when it ends.

[Anonymous]

Stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just be clueless and ask them to include your name when introducing you.

I will confess that this issue had never occurred to me until I read about it on DCUM. I used to say "This is our nanny, Betsy." Now, after becoming (hopefully) a little more aware I say "This is Betsy Ross, Dick and Jane's nanny."

They probably just don't know better and don't mean any disrespect at all.

This is just proper grammar. You are yourself, BEFORE you are what you do/how you know the person introducing you. That's why you always mention the person's name first, and THEN their relationship to you.

[Anonymous]

How do they treat other adults? With the same disrespect?

[Anonymous]

I think you're smart to think about their eventual recommendation, OP. For a first job it's important.

Yes, it is a sign of disrespect but whatever. If you have no other complaints about them and it isn't a pattern of disrespect I'd let it go for the future recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just be clueless and ask them to include your name when introducing you.

I will confess that this issue had never occurred to me until I read about it on DCUM. I used to say "This is our nanny, Betsy." Now, after becoming (hopefully) a little more aware I say "This is Betsy Ross, Dick and Jane's nanny."

They probably just don't know better and don't mean any disrespect at all.

This is just proper grammar. You are yourself, BEFORE you are what you do/how you know the person introducing you. That's why you always mention the person's name first, and THEN their relationship to you.

Yes, ok miss manners. Thanks for barking at me when I was just trying to be helpful to the OP.

[Anonymous]

I do think it is disrespectful. Like you are nothing but your job for them and your name is unimportant. Even first time employers should know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just be clueless and ask them to include your name when introducing you.

I will confess that this issue had never occurred to me until I read about it on DCUM. I used to say "This is our nanny, Betsy." Now, after becoming (hopefully) a little more aware I say "This is Betsy Ross, Dick and Jane's nanny."

They probably just don't know better and don't mean any disrespect at all.

This is just proper grammar. You are yourself, BEFORE you are what you do/how you know the person introducing you. That's why you always mention the person's name first, and THEN their relationship to you.

Yes, ok miss manners. Thanks for barking at me when I was just trying to be helpful to the OP.

She wasn't barking. Calm down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they might just be clueless and ask them to include your name when introducing you.

I will confess that this issue had never occurred to me until I read about it on DCUM. I used to say "This is our nanny, Betsy." Now, after becoming (hopefully) a little more aware I say "This is Betsy Ross, Dick and Jane's nanny."

They probably just don't know better and don't mean any disrespect at all.

Yes but, MB, even before you realized your error you still included your nanny's name in the introduction! That's still much 100 times better than not even bothering to mention her name at all!!! Maybe the parents don't mean any disrespect but how can they NOT know better?

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny, and this has bothered me in the past, but I have to ask, why is this so bothersome? We refer to other people in certain industries by their title (Doctor, Professor, Judge). Is it because the title "nanny" carries no esteem, and maybe even a little shame in our society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny, and this has bothered me in the past, but I have to ask, why is this so bothersome? We refer to other people in certain industries by their title (Doctor, Professor, Judge). Is it because the title "nanny" carries no esteem, and maybe even a little shame in our society?

I think the difference is you still use the person's name even with their title. I think it's fine to say "this is the children's nanny, Jane." The same as you would say "this is my doctor, Dr Smith." You wouldn't just say "this is my doctor." So you shouldn't just say "this is nanny."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny, and this has bothered me in the past, but I have to ask, why is this so bothersome? We refer to other people in certain industries by their title (Doctor, Professor, Judge). Is it because the title "nanny" carries no esteem, and maybe even a little shame in our society?

The only shame is two grown adults still having a nanny.
Nannies are for children, not adults.

Hint: I am your child's nanny, not yours.