Jealous of the bond my nanny has with son.
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Anonymous
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My son is 7 months old. His nanny has been with us for 4 months. She takes really great care of him and I'm happy for that. She is amazing with him and he loves her. The downside is when I come home, he still pays all of his attention to her. When we have a chat before she leaves, he is fighting in my arms to look at her. My husban has said the same thing. He came home fr
Work after traveling for 3 days. The whole time he silently stated at his nanny, instead of my husband. Is it normal to feel like this? Why does he pay so much attention to her, even when we are there? |
Anonymous
| Do you have any idea how awkward this is for the nanny??? Ugh tonight when I left work the baby was reaching and screaming for me. There's only so many times I can pretend "maybe she's hungry" "maybe she wants that toy over there" etc when the elephant in the room is that obviously after spending 10-14 hours a day with the nanny the baby wants to be with the nanny!! Trust me when I say we all hate this because I would love to be chopped liver when my boss comes home. My job security depends on my boss being #1 in the baby's life. It doesn't mean the baby likes the nanny more, so kids don't deal well with transitions and its so awkward for the nanny. We get no pleasure out of this and I try everything I can to distract the baby and literally run out of the room so they can't see me. |
Anonymous
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It is just "transition time", OP, nothing more. He is paying attention to her because when he sees you or your husband, he knows nanny is leaving. The baby is used to things a certain way with the nanny and has no idea why the nanny is leaving him. It has nothing to do with who he wants or prefers to be with - he simply wants nanny to stay with him AND Mommy and Daddy.
Your post (and other posts like it) describe situations that are very uncomfortable to nannies. Many a jealous mother has fired their nanny because they fear the child loves the nanny more than he/she loves the mother - which is IMPOSSIBLE. I've explained to my MB that her baby reaches for me or cries when I leave because he has had my undivided attention all day. When you have a husband and/or other children it is simply not possible or even healthy for your baby to have your undivided attention. With you, your baby is part of a family. With me, he is my sole object of attention and affection. I also am with him for all of the "fun times" during the day - playing, going for walks, going to the park - while you are with him for night-time (which means bed!). |
Anonymous
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Chances are your baby had only a vague memory of who your husband was after three days. Stay away a week and he won't remember you at all.
Your baby doesn't want his nanny to leave. This is a FANTASTIC SIGN!!! Get over your nonsense and be happy that your child is happy. It's not always about you. |
Anonymous
+1. Babies just want whoever they have spent time with most recently. As they get older they will want their parents more. My now 3 1/2 year old DS is and has always been REALLY attached to me. He used to cry whenever I left for work even though once I left he was perfectly happy with the nanny. When he was about 12 months old he spent 5 days with my parents. When I went to pick him up I was SO excited to see him and he cried and ran to my mom. While I was sad he wasn't as excited to me as I was to see him I was happy that he'd had a good time with my parents. Just be happy that you have a good nanny who your child is happy with. You will always be his parents and as he gets older you will see that no one can replace you. |
Anonymous
My boss after 3 years their fire me I'm sure was jealous,already pass one year but this still hurt so much..... |
Anonymous
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While your feelings are not uncommon, they can be very damaging to you, your nanny and your baby and I would suggest you deal with them immediately. Your baby wants your nanny because he's been with her all day and depends on her. Babies have very short memories. He looks to her because he's been looking to her all day. As others have said - this is good! Often nannies with experience have a more confident hold and relaxed way of dealing with a baby than a first time parent - especially when the baby is sick or upset.
You are you son's mother and no one can or ever will take your place. Relax and be 100% happy that you found a good nanny. |
Anonymous
| OP, lots of good advice here and one more thing to add-harsh as it may sound, take some responsibility for your own choices. You chose to go to hire a nanny and you need to temper normal emotional feelings with rational ones. Don't you think it's a little unfair to have negative feelings towards your nanny because she takes good care of your child? |
Anonymous
+1 All mothers, at some point, need to put aside their insecurities in order to do what is in the best interest of their child. This is one of those times. Yes, it is perfectly normal for your baby to want his nanny to stay with him. It bears no reflection on how he feels about you or your husband. |
Anonymous
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1) Is it normal to feel like this?
yes. of course. Even if your head can think "this means my baby is well bonded to the nanny and that is a fantastic thing", your heart goes "wah!!! Baby seems to like her more than me!!". yup. it sucks. It also lessens as the baby gets older - it's bad at this age though. 2) Why does he pay so much attention to her, even when we are there? Because - and I say this with great compassion since I too am a FTWOHM - she is his primary caregiver for most of the week. She has more time and at this age that is what drives preferences. If you were a SAHM, baby would treat your DH the exact same way not because baby loves dad less but he's more familiar with the person he sees most of the time. Again, this will lessen as he gets older. It's a good sign for your baby, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel like a knife to the gut when it happens. |
Anonymous
+1,000,000 Security and stability are ESSENTIAL. Don't mess with that. |
Anonymous
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You chose to leave your baby in someone else's for ten hours a day so what did you expect? You should be grateful for your Nanny and her down on your knees everyday and give thanks that you have someone who loves and cares for your child.
Quit your job and stay home. |
Anonymous
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Stay home and taking care your baby,because this is completely normal..
Jealous is for koockoo people. |
Anonymous
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Go to the doctor ,his will treat you.
Don't drive your poor nanny crazy.. |
Anonymous
| It's not that he prefers the nanny but that he loves his nanny too and knows she's about to leave. Jealousy is normal but it's important to remember that his love for nanny is a good thing. I'd be more worried if he didn't have an attachment to nanny. |