Manny who cannot do anything but watch children
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Anonymous
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I have an afterschool nanny for my kindergartner and first grader. In many ways, she is great. She is great about being on top of homework and music practice. She really engages with the kids and has been great with working with my younger daughter on reading, which has been a struggle this year.
The issue that I am having is that the nanny doesn't seem to be able to multitask. My previous nanny as well as my husband and I all really strongly encourage the kids to be independent. They have been able to shower on their own since they were about four with only minimal hair washing help. They have always been great about playing independently or together and working out problems along the way between the two of them. They even enjoy things like cooking dinner for the family with supervision but not hands on help from an adult. This nanny really engages with them, but she also seems to do nothing but engage with them--by that I mean that she seems to just sit around playing with them talking to them etc. and doesn't get anything else done. While I don't expect her to be scrubbing floors, she also doesn't really seem to be on top of picking up after their games and activities. It was also in her contract that she would help keep up with their laundry and help make dinner each night. The laundry basically just doesn't get done. The most she will do is rotate things from the washer to dryer or throw in a load, but never seems to fold or put anything away. I am not expecting her to do all of their laundry, just to get one load or maybe two done during the week so that I don't have to do all of it evenings and weekends. With dinner, I will leave her extremely simple instructions, but she always manages to forget, get confused, or burn the meals that I have prepared 90% of the way. For example, just last week, I made homemade soup and asked her to heated up for the children. Rather than scooping out enough for my two kids and feeding it to them in a bowl, she put the whole pot on the stove and then forgot to stir it and the entire pot burned and was ruined. Our previous nanny was very organized and on top of things and She basically took over 75% of the nitty-gritty kid tasks. She handled all of their laundry not just washing drying folding and putting away, but also rotating in and out of new seasons, shopping for things as needed, taking the kids to the shoe store to be measured, etc. She also shopped for and prepared family dinners five nights a week with little to no guidance from me. She was also always on top of things like their dentist appointments, doctors check ups, school paperwork, and anything else going on with the kids. I definitely know that I was spoiled. I am trying to figure out whether the issues with our new nanny are a reflection on my having expectations that are out of line with what I can expect from a $15 per hour after school nanny, or whether I can and should be able to find someone who can do this job at a higher level, or somewhere in between. Any advice is appreciated! |
Anonymous
| Ugh, I meant "nanny who cannot do anything but watch the kids". I am not the "Manny poster." |
Anonymous
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Did your previous nanny work the same hours? The tasks you describe her doing seem like a lot more than you would get for an after school nanny.
However, if you feel that she agreed to do things that are not getting accomplished, and that she realistically has time to get them done, you need to explain that to her. Tell her that once homework is done, she should get the kids to clean up their rooms and play together etc, while she folds and puts away the laundry and gets dinner sorted out. Regarding the cooking issue, I'm not sure how much you can do about this apart from let her know that so far it hasn't been working out that great and try to get some feedback from her on it so that you can resolve this. |
Anonymous
| Lol |
Anonymous
| What is her hourly rate? |
Anonymous
| You can try another sitter who might get everything done, but not be so great with your kids. Pick your priorities. |
Anonymous
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Previous nanny was full time and kids were in 4 days for older and 3 mornings a week for younger (so only 2 mornings with no kids)--I am definitely not expecting new nanny to live up to that, just trying to figure out what is reasonable.
Kids get home at 2:45 and nanny leaves at 5:30 or 6:30. They eat a snack (prepared before her arrival), and have about 20 minutes of HW OR music but I don't ask that she do both on the same night. At the most, they should be done with everything by 4, and then maybe have to shower after. |
Anonymous
Thanks. This is what I am trying to figure out. If it is truly not something that I can expect from one person to be engaged for that first hour but then get things done while they play independently for the second hour, then obviously I want someone who is engaged. I was just hoping that I would be able to find that magic person who can do both: be on with the kids when they first get home and then get a couple of things done while the kids play independently for a little while. If you really think it is an either or, then I guess that is my answer. |
Anonymous
This is ridiculous. Anyone with half a brain can figure out how to help kids play independently so they can get a few chores done. OP, you're not looking for a "magical person" - you're looking for a competent nanny. If I were you, I'd have a conversation with her where you reiterate your expectations for what she gets done, and very clearly spell out what they are (2 loads of laundry a week washed, folded, and put away; dinner prepared according to instructions every night; remind children to clean up after themselves etc. etc.) Give her a week or two to prove that she actually cares, and then re-evaluate. Anyone who couldn't handle your requests clearly should not be a nanny. And I'm not saying this as a vindictive MB. I'm a nanny. I also manage to take care of laundry, cooking, and tidying despite having a very rambunctious 2yo underfoot. I love my job, but rocket science it is not. |
Anonymous
| Can you be my housekeeper, pp? |
Anonymous
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I'd agree with the nanny (22:38) that the after school nanny should be able to do laundry - that's throw a load in, help with homework, move load to dryer, help more with homework/music, then fold after. That's easy, and it should be done. What you MIGHT need to do is give her a schedule , for ex: on Wednesdays, please do a load of dark kids' clothes. On Thursday, please do a load of white kids' clothes. And when I say do a load, I mean all the way -wash, dry, fold, put away (or have kids go put away if they are old enough to do it, or even better, go to bedroom and help/supervise so they do it but she makes sure it gets done correctly.) That way she has a goal as she might not be self-directed.
But regarding warming up/cooking dinner? That might not be fixable, as not everyone knows how to do these things. I know, we all think everyone can, but when I was 20 I'd be hardpressed to do some of this, as my mother didn't like help in the kitchen - I set the table, did dishes, load/unloaded dishwasher, cut veges and made salad, but that was the extent to my allowed in the kitchen. I remember sweating when I was in highschool and had to feed the kids when I was babysitting! So you might not be able to do that - although she should be able to handle a crockpot (move fully loaded crockpot from refrigerator to crockpot, turn on). Or she could put water on LOW to start boiling so when you get home it's nearly ready for the pasta... easy stuff. |
Anonymous
| I think that you're expecting a lot from an afternoon sitter, and if you're paying typical afternoon sitter rates, you're not going to attract Mrs. Doubtfire. If your kids are safe, and happy, and the homework gets done you're getting your money's worth. Perhaps write up a schedule for her, but don't ask too much of her in one night. If its really important to you that all the extraneous crap gets done, raise your rate and look for an actual PT nanny, not some kid sitter who can't heat up soup. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Current nanny is in her mid-40s with 2 teenage kids and AM job at a preschool. |
Anonymous
What's her pay per hr? |
Anonymous
OP is avoiding that question for a reason obviously. She knows damn well she's not paying enough for everything she is asking for. Cue OP coming back to claim they pay her $20/hr with full benefits..... |