Feel taken advantage of
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Anonymous
I've been working as a part-time live out nanny for the same family for the past 6 years. The parents both work full time from home and have very high paying jobs. There is only 1 child,a 12 yo,and he's a really great kid. The problem I have is with the mom. She never gives me any advance notice if she wants me to stay later or work during a weekend AND she doesn't pay me for those extra hours.(she pays a flat rate weekly which I will never agree to again!). She has me driving the child all summer long to various sports camps at least 40 min. away without any compensation for gas and also has me taking the child's friends! The latest is that she wants to send the boy to an elite private day school an hour away and she wants me driving him both ways,again without gas compensation.  I'd love to leave now,but I need the job to pay the bills. How do I tell her that I won't be driving the child to this school? I think I'm just going to come out and tell her tomorrow that I won't do it. He's scheduled to visit it next week and when I asked her how he was getting there she told me that her husband would bring him and that he'd be picked up,but didn't say by whom.Today she volunteered my nanny services to her friend this weekend without even asking me. I'd just like advance notice of these things and I never get it!! It's all about her 24/7! Ugh! I used to think it was me being unreasonable,but my other nanny friends tell me I'm being very taken advantage of. They say they never drive their kids more than 5 or 10 miles at most. Should I just come out and tell this mom tomorrow that I won't be driving an hour away back and forth every day ? I'm thinking that's the only way she'll get the message loud and clear.
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Anonymous
| Where do you live? |
Anonymous
| Sorry to say it, but you're being plain stupid. Almost too stupid to believe. Sorry. |
Anonymous
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How much do you earn a week and for how many hours?
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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huh? this sounds absurd. as a MB--i always pay for extra hrs worked. also, we reimburse at the irs tax rate per mile. if nanny decides to visit other nannies in the neighborhood and drive, i do not reimburse as it's walking distance and i did not set up the playdate.
further, why would your MB think she can dictate how you spend your weekends? would this be w/o compensation? has this ever happened before where you've allowed this? |
Anonymous
| You are the problem and I don't feel sorry for you. How hard is it to be an adult and assert yourself? |
Anonymous
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Gosh let me apologize in advance for someone yet again reaching out to this online community and getting told they are too stupid and their story is made up. Really ladies? Have you nothing better to do? If you can't contribute to the topic at hand then shut the f up. I am absolutely at my end with you losers.
That being said, I believe you because the same thing happened to me. After 4 years of no gas compensation minus $20 my first week I finally sat down and talked to them saying " hey sorry to bring this up but I find myself filling up my tank twice a week and its getting a bit expensive for me to drive your children around, can we discuss gas compensation?" They said absolutely. I got paid a large back sum for the years of unpaid gas and I get national rate paid to me of .56 per mile. Just bring it up. Also bring up that your pay covers this amount of hours, anything over will be considered overtime. People like your bosses don't male it easy to stick up for yourself trust me I know but you have to do it. Know anyone else in your situation would. Good luck to you! |
Anonymous
I agree with you 100%. Both on your advice and the pure nonsense that has been going on with this board. |
Anonymous
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Do you have a contract, OP?
If so, you can ask her to revisit it in light of your new responsibilities and introduce the compensation for driving. Make sure you ask for the IRS rate. |
Anonymous
+1. I am a MB, and would never agree to the IRS rate. It's ridiculously high. So, we bought a third car. They have that option, too. You can open the conversation by saying that with Jr's new school arrangement, it seemed like a good time to talk about some things because you're starting to find the job unmanageable (but you love them, love their kid, just want to get on the same page, etc). Here's what you want to work out: 1) the number of hours covered in your weekly rate (more than that = extra pay) 2) a regular day/days off, so that you can always count on a weekend day free, or extra pay for that day 3) you can't handle the gas and wear-and-tear on your car for all that driving. give her the option of reimbursing or providing you with a car. 4) notice for babysitting/driving other people's kids; extra kids = extra pay (though I wouldn't make a huge deal of this if it really isn't any extra work). If you don't want to do it, bring up the fact that as your employer, they are also now taking on liability for those other children. |
Anonymous
| The IRS rate is way to high at 56 cents per mile. If OP drove to and from school each day that would be 240 miles. 60 each way 4 times a day to drop off and pick up. That would cost with the IRS rate 134.40 each day or 672 a week in gas. If she asked her boss for an extra 672 a week once she starts driving her charge to the new school they would probably think she is crazy. But OP you do need to get the gas paid for maybe a flat rate or per mile. |
Anonymous
I agree that it's too high, but it's also a lot of wear and tear on her vehicle. I think the family needs to get a third car, or pay for gas + semi-annual tune-ups and monthly cleaning/detailing. |
Anonymous
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where are you getting $60 each way? she said 40 minutes not 40 miles. For example, i live in north arlington and occasionally she'll take dd to tysons which is about 9 miles away. during certain times of the day it can take about 25 minutes, depending on traffic to get there.
most of the time my nanny takes dd to classes around arlington that are about 2 to 7 miles away. we end up paying her about $40 to $60 in gas for all the class sessions when we pay the IRS rate. i don't know what car you think is cheaper than reimbursing at the irs rate, particularly in va where there's vehicle tax and arlington where there's county decal, plus registration, plus insurance, maintenance and then finally gas. i estimate we pay nanny about $300 total a year in gas for these extra classses. |
Anonymous
| She said the new school is 1 hr away |