Nanny watching TV while baby is awake

[Anonymous]

I'm a first time mom to a 9 month old little girl and I just recently hired a nanny. I told her that I had cameras before I hired her and she agreed that it was fine. I turned on the camera today to see if I could catch a glimpse of my daughter playing and I can't see either my daughter or the nanny, which is not a major concern because there is a large blind spot. I turned on the audio to see if I could hear them just to reassure myself that they were there and I realized I could hear sitcom laughter and dialogue. It seems like the nanny is watching TV shows on her tablet while my daughter is playing on the floor, or even holding her on her lap while she is watching the TV show. I told her in her interview and again upon hiring her that my daughter is not to watch TV and that the nanny should not watch TV while she is awake. I can't see so I am not certain what is happening, but I have now had the camera on for a few hours and have heard the TV sounds almost continuously and have rarely seen either of them. The blind spot is not large enough for them to be playing in for hours, especially since my daughter is very active and crawls all over. The one time I saw my daughter she was behind the couch and out of eye shot of where the nanny must have been sitting/standing and I still heard the TV show. Obviously it is not acceptable that she is watching TV while not in eyeshot of my daughter.

I don't know how to handle this. I know I need to address it when I go home but I don't know what to say, especially since I cannot say for absolute sure that I saw her watching TV. I am trying hard not to overreact, but I'm a single mom so I don't have a husband to bounce this off of, and at this point I can't tell whether this is nitpicky or very serious. It breaks my heart to think of my baby being ignored while her caretaker watches TV. So far (a month) I have found the nanny to be a bit inexperienced (but I knew that when I hired her) but extremely loving, with great instincts, and great with my daughter. Could this just be inexperience? I would love some thoughts and advice on how to broach this.

[Anonymous]

Look for a new nanny. Then fire the tv watcher.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure the baby wasn't sleeping ? Watching tv while working is pretty bad. I hardly do it when the children are napping .

[Anonymous]

I'm positive, we have a camera in her nursery and that's the only place she naps.

[Anonymous]

I usually give anyone working for me a chance to explain/redeem themselves before firing the person. I know I would want the same from my employer.

I would address it with the nanny when you get home tonight. I'd be blunt and tell her you turned on the camera today to see what your daughter was up to and that while you couldn't see them, you could hear what sounded like a TV. I would not tell her how long you were listening/watching for but then ask her to explain. If you think she is lying to you - she says it was just a few minutes - consider calling her on it then and there or wait if you need some time to find a new nanny. I would not tolerate lying but for something like this, I would not fire her until you have someone else lined up to watch your daughter.

[Anonymous]

I thought nanny cams couldn't have audio? I thought that was illegal

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Where I am in Maryland it is legal to have audo and video recordings as long as the person on camera is notified. That said, I do not record, it's just a live stream.

[Anonymous]

What type of a devise do you use to live stream? How does it work. Sorry I'm not into all the gadgets these days

[Anonymous]

I would give her a chance to explain, reiterate your rules about no TV during working hours, and give her a chance to correct the behavior. It lets her know that you actually do watch the camera and know what is going on, but also gives her a chance to redeem herself, especially if in all other regards she is great with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Um yeah I think I would let her go. If this is how she behaves as a new employee imagine what might come up as she gets more comfortable in the job. Also your baby is going to be getting faster and more mobile as she improved crawling and starts walking, the nanny will need to really be paying attention to ensure she isn't getting hurt while she learns.

The family I work for showed me how to play Pandora through the tv so me and the baby I watch listen to Disney radio or done other station without profanity most of the day (oldies, etc). Good luck, let us know what happens with her.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she couldn't have been listening to the radio, or a podcast? I listened to audio books sometimes when my charges were very young. Your nanny would have to be truly stupid to know you have cameras, know you have a no TV rule, and still sit in front of the TV for hours, ignoring your daughter.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sure it was a sitcom. It had dialogue that I could hear and frequent canned laughter. Do people listen to audio only of sitcoms? The thing is, I would LOVE to come up with a plausible reason for this. I have been really happy with her and I am not the type of person who is looking for someone to trip up. I have no vacation days left and no back up childcare so I have no idea what I'm going to do if she doesn't work out. Thank you very much to all the employers and nannies for the advice. As a first time single mom it's sometimes hard to gauge if you are letting your anxiety about leaving your child get the best of you.

[Anonymous]

I care for a child the same age as yours OP.
As you know, spending an entire day alone with an infant can be quite isolating.
I download recordings of lectures, Prairie Home Companion, etc. to listen to while my charge and I play around the house. It is also possible she had a show on her tablet but was just listening to it. I've done that as well.
Allow her the opportunity to explain herself.
Reiterate your expectations and give her 1 more chance.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB. This would be totally unacceptable to me OP, but I would be in a similar bind w/ the realities of childcare (and possibly finances). That being said, here is what I think I would do:

- reposition the camera tonight so you can have two days of information and feel completely confident in what you are seeing/hearing
- call a back-up care agency right now to find out how quickly they can send you someone who sounds comfortable to you (I use Metro Parent Relief but there are others)
- have a very serious, direct conversation with your current nanny. Trust your gut. Reiterate that you can and do check the audio/video feeds and will be even more diligent about doing that now. Be very clear about what you do and do not allow. Give her one week (if you wish) to demonstrate that she can supervise your child within your guidelines.
- Terminate her on the spot, or after another day, or in a week - whatever feels right to you. Use the emergency service to get you through until you can find another nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. This would be totally unacceptable to me OP, but I would be in a similar bind w/ the realities of childcare (and possibly finances). That being said, here is what I think I would do:

- reposition the camera tonight so you can have two days of information and feel completely confident in what you are seeing/hearing
- call a back-up care agency right now to find out how quickly they can send you someone who sounds comfortable to you (I use Metro Parent Relief but there are others)
- have a very serious, direct conversation with your current nanny. Trust your gut. Reiterate that you can and do check the audio/video feeds and will be even more diligent about doing that now. Be very clear about what you do and do not allow. Give her one week (if you wish) to demonstrate that she can supervise your child within your guidelines.
- Terminate her on the spot, or after another day, or in a week - whatever feels right to you. Use the emergency service to get you through until you can find another nanny.

This. I'd definitely wait one more day after repositioning the camera so you can actually see what she is doing tomorrow. One more day won't hurt the baby and then you will truly know what is going on. Then follow the rest of what PP said. And I also would recommend Metro Parent Relief for a backup.