I didn't know this was a mother's helper job UGH
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Anonymous
| MB and I get along well enough. I am an after school sitter who works until bedtime. Anyway, MB comes home every day at the same time the kids get home. She always has some excuse like "oh I left work early" or "My meeting was cancelled". The kids do not listen when she is there and everything takes longer and longer to do when she is at home. She says she wants them to work by my rules when I am there but every day it is "mommy said I can have twinkies before dinner" or something. The few days alone with the kids (twins) have been perfectly fine. They have fun and a structured evening. WDYT? |
Anonymous
| Did you used to be alone with the kids and now she's coming home all the time? How long has this been happening? It might be worth sitting down and talking to her. Perhaps one of the kids told her you were doing something (or a nosy neighbor) that she didn't approve of and is now checking up on you. |
Anonymous
| I would have a talk with her as well. I would wonder how much longer she sees needing you. |
Anonymous
| So what is she supposed to do when she gets off work early? Wait in the car? You sound very immature, this is her home. |
Anonymous
Stop the ridiculous attacks. The OP posed a problem she is having - if you have no suggestion or solution to offer you should not post anything. |
Anonymous
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Sit down with her and ask her how she would like to handle different instances. For example, if Johnny says he wants a twinkie, you say no, and then he says mommy said he could.
Would she rather the kids ask her? I know you said initially that she wants them to follow your rules, but maybe her rules are different and she doesn't mind if you're more lenient. Is this a new gig? She might be at home to check on you and make sure things are going smoothly. Keep an eye on you in the beginning. Take the food before dinner thing. Instead of saying absolutely no food before dinner, you could put out some fresh fruit or chopped veggies. Something healthier than a twinkie. Or maybe mom doesn't care about a twinkie before dinner now and then. |
Anonymous
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Op here
For the first week everything was fine. She kept telling me how the kids liked me and they talked about me when she got home. So I don't think they complained. To the idiot PP, no I wouldn't want her to sit in her car, but I am pretty sure that she is just coming up with reasons to come home and then have me still stay the full time. I feel that, if I she comes home, I should leave and I would only expect pay for hours worked. She often says "I left work early because I missed them so much!" but then expects me to stay from 3:30 to 10 I always let the kids have healthy foods at any time. She is extreme about it. If they want any food she says "yes". So while they have had 4 ho hos and 2 bags of chips, they have eaten no dinner. For things that I have already said no to and the kids ask her, she tells me that she feels so bad when she "undermines" me but at this point I don't care. I feel like if she wants to spend so much time with her kids, she doesn't need a sitter and if she did she would have said that in the interview. |
Anonymous
| You sound like a good and responsible sitter, OP. Quit. It's not going to get any better. There is no way to maintain authority (thus the health and safety of the children) if their mother undermines you. The hardest jobs to fill are the afternoon/after school jobs - you'll have another job within a week. |
Anonymous
There's your problem. If she is paying you, then you should stay for your entire scheduled time. If you want to go home when she gets home, then you need to work that out with her. It sounds like you have a split situation that you did not expect and do not want. Sit down and have this discussion with her. |
Anonymous
| Right nut her OP title clearly explains her problem. She thought she was being hired as a sitter/nanny, NOT a mother's helper. Totally different gig. Would you be mad if you got hired as a dental hygienist and then were told, oh by the way, you're the dental assistant now? |
Anonymous
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I would definitely talk to her about how to handle situations such as the snacks before dinner and maybe work together to create a list of "pre - approved" before dinner snacks that way all either of you had to do is refer to the list when a child is asking you both for a pre - dinner snack.
If she always undermines your authority with her children them unfortunately I don't foresee this as a situation that will work well long term. One of the biggest things about nannying is its a partnership with the parents. Having your authority undermined will lead to the kids being less receptive to you and you will end up resenting the parents. As for the hours worked- she hired you to be there from 3:30 - 10 so whether she's there in that time frame really is irrelevant. What is relevant is that this is turning into s mother's helper position which is not what you were hired to be. I honestly suggest you start searching for a new position. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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Bedtime is 10pm, How old are the kids and why does she need you that late?
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Anonymous
| She's probably just going through a trial period to see how things go with you and will eventually start coming home later. |
Anonymous
She's just neurotic as I came to find out. And I have quit. MB was being a bit too controlling and she felt badly about not spending every wakin moment with the kids so she expected me to engage their every whim to calm her nerves. 
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