How do some nannies work for at home parents? Tips/advice please.
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I am currently between positions and seeking something part time. Well, understandably, most of the part time positions that seem ideal for me in regards to schedule, salary, and distance are for parents that sah or wah. I have usually been very wary of being employed in a position working under employers but have recently started thinking about it.
For nannies that work with employers in close contact, what are some ways you deal with the awkwardness, kids asking for mom or dad, having a break without feeling guilty, trying to make sure you're doing things correctly, etc? Thanks. |
Anonymous
| Just don't do it!!! |
Anonymous
| I have worked in several homes with one of the parents working from home. It is a NIGHTMARE! |
Anonymous
| I have to say "Don't do it!!" I have had many jobs where I have worked w/parents who telecommute and it is always a nightmare. I have burned many bridges in my career in doing this and I refuse to do it again. The dynamic sucks so bad. |
Anonymous
|
I work for a family where mom is frequently working from
Home... This only causes problems if the kids are moody and see her. Otherwise our 'rule' is that I am In charge and she essentially 'isn't here'. She makes mets elf as unnoticeable as possible. She works in office upstairs, we play on main floor or basement, go outside, to activities (normal things we would do if she was at work). I do work for an extraordinary family who is absolutely amazing parents and to be employed by so this may not work for every case |
Anonymous
| I work for a family where the dad is home one to three times a week. He stays upstairs and we stay downstairs or go outside. Anything I do when I'm home alone with the kids I do when he is home as well so I don't feel like I need to change our schedule at all. Like PP, I am with an amazing family and have been with them for three years so this might not be the case for everybody. We have a good and trusting relationship so this situation has never been a problem for us |
Anonymous
|
I had a parent quit their job while I was employer for them and decide to start his own business from home. It was a nightmare. Everytime Dad comes out to get a cup of coffee, it's a big scene because the baby gets excited and wants to see him but he can't, or maybe he can if Dad wants to but who knows? So awkward. They hear them when they're on the phone and want to bang on the doors, you have to keep them quiet so they don't disrupt the parents work...I hated it.
If I ever did go for a position with a wah parent I would just say in the interview nicely...I was wondering how the day would work with you being at home-do you have an office? Is it on the same floor? And you can just say you've heard it's hard on the kids when they can see/hear the parent. Unless they are on a separate floor and are (hopefully) professional enough to stay out of your way I wouldn't do it. |
Anonymous
| If boundaries are set right up front, it can work out just fine. I have worked for parents who would frequently be doing work from home. The kids understood that when the office door was closed, you don't go in there. They knew I was in charge and running to mommy or daddy during the day was not ok. |
Anonymous
|
I have had 4 nanny jobs over six years. All of them have had a parent working from home (or in one case a SAHM who needed part-time help with infant twins). In only one of those situations was it a problem. The concerns vary greatly with the age of the child and with the layout of the house and with the expectations of the parent.
Infants and young toddlers will be very disrupted by even seeing mom/dad. For that age, I often offer the rule of thumb that it's better to stay out of sight unless they have at least 15 minutes to come in and visit. Playing with us for fewer than 15 minutes just isn't worth the 5 minutes it takes the kids to "recover" when they leave. For older kids, the biggest problem is being clear about who is incharge for discipline. I explain clearly up front that there are two ways to handle this. 1) I have have the authority to discipline the kids and they back me up 100% in front of the kids (and if they don't like how I've handled something they text/email/tell me when kids aren't present and I will course correct for next time) or 2) Mom/dad are ultimately in charge and I am just there to supervise play when they are happy (and if any discipline issues arise I will send them in to mom or dad to address. Most parents quickly see that #1 is the only way for them to get any real work done, but I had one parent who was truly looking for #2, and didn't mind being interupted every 5 minutes. That was workable too, because the expectation was clear. Be sure to have at least one interview in their home and ask to be shown where they will work and where kids will be. Also ask how they plan to accomodate naps/meals. IME, having the parent drop by right before a nap or halfway through a meal tends to be the most disruptive. What's worked well for me is to send a text about 20 min before a nap and right before a meal and then text them an all clear after. Parents can either come then if they have a break and handle the nap put-down or mealtime personally or stay out of sight until after the all clear. The rule for avoiding issues is the same as any other in the nanny world: communicate clearly and up front. Discuss all this with the parents and have it in writing. If you are flexible and professional, you may find that you enjoy the adult interaction during your day! |
Anonymous
|
I agree it varies a lot by age and how consistent the parents are with the children. I work for someone that is WAH while the kids are at school and flip flops after school between WAH/SAH which is confusing for all, I would never do it again and struggle through it now.
Do a trial period because what they say in the interview and what happens day to day could be completely different. |
Anonymous
Agree that boundaries are the key to success. Parent should at least text nanny before randomly bursting in. I also appreciate knowing when parent is coming home and going out for errands. Never had an emergency, but still good to know if you're in the house alone or not. |
Anonymous
| Good luck. Its like having your boss hovering over you at all times. the most annoying part is how needy they become towards YOU. Be prepared to become THIER babysitter as well. They so desperately want YOU to be their mom, and take care of their every need. I feel if someone hires a nanny, theyshould actually GO TO WORK. Not fake work from home and buy stuff on Amazon all day. Teleworking is a joke (and they'll tell you that as well) specially if they work for a non profit or government. |
Anonymous
That's exactly why parents keep saying "MY nanny." They need you more than their kid does. |
Anonymous
I've had 3 great families and 2 of them had a WFH parent. Maybe you should try to interview better. |
Anonymous
| Another one here to say DONT. I did it for almost 2 years. Horrible environment! Your boss is ALWAYS just a few feet away. Just imagine that for a minute... Yeah, it's really that bad. And throw in the fact that the kids know very well she's there, and you have an absolute nightmare. Never again. |