Vent: MB and DB told me not to touch there food

[Anonymous]

I've been working with my newest family for 2 months. So far I love them and have been super happy. Last Friday I forgot my lunch on the counter at home so I just made a sandwhich and took a soda for lunch from my employers. MB showed me a cabinet of snacks and said help even though I normally don't.

So I get in to work today at 7am and DB asked me about the soda. I told him I forgot my lunch and I had hope it was ok. He then stated how expensive soda, lunch meat and bread is and that they aren't allowing that snack for a nanny. I offered to pay him or replace it but he said it was ok. If not bad enough he proceeded to show me what I could eat ( nuts, chips and water).

I will respect their rules but I never found a family to be so stingy. I was always offered an open invitation expect on things they would be using for their lunches or dinner. Now I feel really awkward around them and very unwelcome. Am I overreacting or is this wrong of them to do?

[Anonymous]

Wow. He got upset over a sandwich and soda? Not normal at all

[Anonymous]

I would feel very unwelcome -- it's a SODA, if they can pay for a nanny I'm sure he can pay for a can of soda

[Anonymous]

Sad part is they aren't struggling financially at all. They are an older couple and have both great careers that come with large salaries. In fact, I do believe the dad is wealthy.

[Anonymous]

But you ate food they did not want you to eat. While his reaction was not the best, you ate their food. While most families don't care what the nanny eats, you work for a family that does.
They have set the boundaries, you need to respect them.

Maybe if you forget your lunch in the future, you could ask if is ok to eat something.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset, too.

Also bread is cheaper than nuts, so I'm confused.

[Anonymous]

I find this thread hard to believe, OP. But to answer your questions, yes, you are overreacting and no, it was not wrong of them to do.

Lunch is a perk they don't want to offer a nanny. You can judge them for it, but you took the job knowing that. Further, you made yourself lunch without asking them first it would be ok if you broke the policy. Apparently, the DB has a thing about the soda, particularly. I have to admit that if I had forgotten my lunch, I'd likely have done with the snacks and water available, or made a sandwich if I had to, but I wouldn't have taken a soda. I would also have told my MB or DB immediately when they came home. I wouldn't let them discover it. It makes it look like sneaking their food is a common thing.

Maybe you can ask them if you can have a little shelf space where you can keep an emergency lunch in case you forget again.

[Anonymous]

It's weird that if they are so concerned about the cost of soda they would buy it by the can rather than by the 2-liter bottle, which is less expensive on a per ounce basis.

Regardless, in the future remember your lunch, OP. You bumped into a boundary is all. Perhaps you should keep a small stash of non-perishable snacks in your trunk in case you forget your lunch again. No need to be awkward or feel uncomfortable - just only eat from what they said is okay to eat going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread hard to believe, OP. But to answer your questions, yes, you are overreacting and no, it was not wrong of them to do.

Lunch is a perk they don't want to offer a nanny. You can judge them for it, but you took the job knowing that. Further, you made yourself lunch without asking them first it would be ok if you broke the policy. Apparently, the DB has a thing about the soda, particularly. I have to admit that if I had forgotten my lunch, I'd likely have done with the snacks and water available, or made a sandwich if I had to, but I wouldn't have taken a soda. I would also have told my MB or DB immediately when they came home. I wouldn't let them discover it. It makes it look like sneaking their food is a common thing.

Maybe you can ask them if you can have a little shelf space where you can keep an emergency lunch in case you forget again.

I agree with this. While I think his reaction was over the top, they did specifically show you a cabinet that you could help yourself which means the rest is off limits. So instead of eating something from that cabinet, you went ahead and made a sandwich and drank a soda. Then didn't tell them so it looked like you were trying to hide it from them. That's not ok either.

[Anonymous]

I'm a live in nanny so things are probably different. I have always been welcome to anything I wish and the family I work for buy me the food I like. How rude of him to say that.

[Anonymous]

MB here and while I think it's weird they are so stingy with their food they did make it clear when they showed you the snack cabinet that you shouldn't eat the rest of their food. You knowingly did anyway.

Also, unless you have seen their bank statements or pay checks you have no idea that the dad is "wealthy" or that their "great careers come with large salaries."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here and while I think it's weird they are so stingy with their food they did make it clear when they showed you the snack cabinet that you shouldn't eat the rest of their food. You knowingly did anyway.

Also, unless you have seen their bank statements or pay checks you have no idea that the dad is "wealthy" or that their "great careers come with large salaries."

I agree I worked for a family that made over 3 million a year. They were totally broke in tons of cc debt. They made great money but spent more then they made. Also rarely had any food in the house.

[Anonymous]

I will state that yes they showed me the cabinet of food but the mom told MW help myself to any leftovers if I'm ever hungry. She also told me to help myself to the teas and juices. Its super annoying for MB to say one thing and the dad say another.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I'd probably quit. It'd make me question their financial stability. Their appearance of wealth may be living off of credit cards. And either way that is no way to treat someone you invite into your home and indicates they would probably not treat you well in other situations.

[Anonymous]

But you did not eat the leftovers. Nor did you stick to teas or juices.