Nanny locked baby in the car - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Our Nanny of 2.5 years accidentally locked my 7 month old in the car when running an errand on her way to collect my 3 year old from school. Luckily I was able to quickly reach my husband who was driving in to work and able to help. Everything turned out ok, but I'm still a bit shaken by the possibilities. We have a good relationship with the nanny and think of her as a close friend, but after hiring her she has alternated between excellent and focused at times and then having periods where she is distracted and clearly not paying attention to what she's doing at work. Usually these periods have coincided with major life events (medical issues, divorce, GED, new boyfriend, starting college full time, etc) but the distraction is now becoming more constant.

In addition to working 40+ hours a week for us, she is trying to juggle 3 or 4 college classes and time with her boyfriend. I did express my concern as she was starting college in August that I felt as if her job with us was clearly not a priority (in a conversation when she was asking for a day off - not a big problem since I was still out on maternity leave, but I was also exhausted). We haven't really discussed it since, and I've never asked her to limit her distractions during the work day since I always said as long as the kids were happy and well cared for she could use her time as she needed for errands, etc. I'm beginning to wonder if I should ask her to stay off her cell phone unless it's necessary and not run errands as much, but I don't know if that would actually make her less distracted.

Any advice? I feel like I'm willing to make a lot of accommodations to keep her as a nanny because of how good she is when she's focused, but now that she often isn't, I find myself resentful when I come home and see her schoolwork out and the kids laundry is not folded or I hear her on the phone when I walk in and there's a mess of cereal on the floor, etc. What's reasonable to expect? What's reasonable to ask for? FWIW, she actually locked the 3 year old in the car once before about a year ago, but it was in the garage and again my husband was working from home that day and able to stay by the car while she drove to get her spare key.

For starters, I'm thinking of making a copy of her car key and keeping it at our house.

[Anonymous]

Yikes! I don't have any advice on what to do on your nanny but this is my biggest fear!!! ALWAYS on my mind! I accidently pinched my 2 year olds charge finger in the car door. I felt HORIBLE and cried when I told mb. She said accidents happen and she didn't doubt my judgment at ALL!! I actually happened a second time 4 months later with his sister. She was walking behind me and was using the car as support when she slipped and it was at the same time I was closing the door. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. But accidents happen. If you truly feel that your nanny is making poor judgment calls maybe it's time to take a look at if it's worth the firing and rehiring.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand, logistically, how this even happened? OP- can you give some more details, this may help determine if she was being irresponsible or it truly was just an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand, logistically, how this even happened? OP- can you give some more details, this may help determine if she was being irresponsible or it truly was just an accident.

Agreed. I'm having some doubts about this one.

[Anonymous]

I hope you're not paying her very much. She no longer respects this as her job; it is the thing she has to find time for while she lives her life. Is that what you want? Your oldest is getting old enough to really want someone to pay attention to him, and you don't need more mess when you get home than you left. Time for another conversation.

[Anonymous]

Are the messes cleaned before she walks out the door or does she leave them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand, logistically, how this even happened? OP- can you give some more details, this may help determine if she was being irresponsible or it truly was just an accident.

Agreed. I'm having some doubts about this one.

+2

[Anonymous]

MB here. This may sound nuts but I don't think it's a huge firing offense that she accidentally locked the kid in the car. That kind of thing can happen to anyone.

I would consider firing for "come home to see her schoolwork out and the kids laundry is not folded or I hear her on the phone when I walk in and there's a mess of cereal on the floor, "

My feeling is that when my nanny is at work, all the nannying duties need to be completed BEFORE she does her own stuff. If one of your nanny's duties is to clean up after the kids' meals or fold their laundry, then doing their own schoolwork before those things are done is completely unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Did she leave the baby in the car and go into a store or did t just happen while she was getting in/out of the car? If it was the former I'd have doubts about her judgment. If the latter it could have been an accident if things were hectic etc.

[Anonymous]

i am trying to figure out how this happened. did she leave her keys in the car and hit the lock button on the door on the way out? if so, that makes me think she may have forgotten the baby was in the car.

[Anonymous]

Is she struggling with her finances? Is college so she can get a "real" job? Can you afford to pay her better?

[Anonymous]

Apparently her car has a sensor that when the keys are in the car it will lock after 30 seconds. She heard the car lock as she was strapping the baby in, but didn't worry since she thought the keys were in her pocket. The keys fell out of her pocket as she was bending over to put the baby in her car seat and she didn't realize it until after she had shut the door.

My husband said when he got there that the keys were clearly down somewhere where they would have fallen, and that it looked like an unfortunate accident, but not something caused by distraction.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that this happened. I've locked my keys in my car but never a child or pet.

But to be thinking your nanny can't have a life outside of you and your children is just wrong.
She is doing her job and in your last post, it's clean her personal life is not getting in the way.

How would it be if your boss said your personal life was a work distraction? Your husband, your children? I'm sure they have distracted you during a meeting, an important call, or something similar.

Every time something is not to your liking your going to be thinking it's because of her life or as you put it distractions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She is doing her job and in your last post, it's clean her personal life is not getting in the way.

The OPs statement "I come home and see her schoolwork out and the kids laundry is not folded or I hear her on the phone when I walk in and there's a mess of cereal on the floor, etc." suggests that her personal life IS getting in the way of her job. I think these matters are more concerning than the original post, that just sounds like an unfortunate situation that could happen to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently her car has a sensor that when the keys are in the car it will lock after 30 seconds. She heard the car lock as she was strapping the baby in, but didn't worry since she thought the keys were in her pocket. The keys fell out of her pocket as she was bending over to put the baby in her car seat and she didn't realize it until after she had shut the door.

My husband said when he got there that the keys were clearly down somewhere where they would have fallen, and that it looked like an unfortunate accident, but not something caused by distraction.

This doesn't sound like it has anything to do with being distracted. Sounds completely like an accident partly due to her car's technology and partly due to fluke. it sounds like you are irritated with her for other things and that is coloring your view of this incident.