Nanny references..bad sign?

[Anonymous]

M husband and I are looking for a nanny for our infant daughter. We interviewed with a wonderful woman that we like a lot. She gave us a list of references to call/email. I was only able to reach 2 out of 3 references. Her last references # was disconnected so I emailed and haven't had a response. It's been a few days. I know that she worked long-term for them and they were willing to give her a reference. When I asked her about it, she said she only had those contacts and she didn't know how else to get in touch with them. Should we proceed with her anyway or have caution? I would love any advice.

P.s. Her other references ( all long-term) gave her great reviews!

[Anonymous]

If you feel the need to speak with another reference, you could ask her to provide a babysitting or personal reference.
People do lose touch and it is completely possible she doesn't have another way to contact them. Two stellar references from long-term employers does bode well for her reputation.
If this is the only issue you have with her, I'd go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:M husband and I are looking for a nanny for our infant daughter. We interviewed with a wonderful woman that we like a lot. She gave us a list of references to call/email. I was only able to reach 2 out of 3 references. Her last references # was disconnected so I emailed and haven't had a response. It's been a few days. I know that she worked long-term for them and they were willing to give her a reference. When I asked her about it, she said she only had those contacts and she didn't know how else to get in touch with them. Should we proceed with her anyway or have caution? I would love any advice.

P.s. Her other references ( all long-term) gave her great reviews!

It isn't a bad sign at all. People move, and change numbers all the time. I have several references on my resume. Some that aren't listed have moved to Weisbaden, Germany, and Guyana respectively. They were all involved in a long-term share, and my other employers sometimes mention them when asked about me, by prospective employers. I speak to the family in Germany via facebook, from time to time. They've told me, that they would gladly give me a reference if need be, but I should be mindful, that if a family doesn't hire me, because they weren't able to get a reference from the 8th family I've worked with, then they truly do not wish to hire me ( I was very close to this family, and we are very frank with each other). If any caregiver stays with a family long-term, that says a lot about her/him. If you're that concerned, do a background check on her.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your advice! We did do a background check and she is very clean!

I called a few babysitting references and got good reviews too. I guess that is enough.

[Anonymous]

I usually only give 2 references and it has always been enough.

[Anonymous]

I usually give 3-4 references not with the expectation that all of them will be called but so if one person can't be reached or doesn't call back then there will still be 2 who can vouch for me. Ultimately you should go with your gut feeling, it's there for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for your advice! We did do a background check and she is very clean!

I called a few babysitting references and got good reviews too. I guess that is enough.

If she has everything you're looking for, a clean background check and glowing references from 5 (right?) people....that should definitely be enough.

[Anonymous]

References mean very little to me, fake references are so common. *Unless* she was a live-in and past employer's address matches past address on her BG check. I would place way more importance on the BG check, driving record and your own sense of judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:References mean very little to me, fake references are so common. *Unless* she was a live-in and past employer's address matches past address on her BG check. I would place way more importance on the BG check, driving record and your own sense of judgement.

I don't know how true that is with infants. If a parent is lying about a reference, a good question and answer session, would reveal any possible holes in their comments. My mum has always said the truth never wavers, and if you aren't certain, call back and ask more questions. I'm writing this, as a nanny, who has solid references.

[Anonymous]

OP I would have a problem that the missing reference was the most recent one. If the most recent and second were available and the oldest reference was missing then I would be less concerned about it.

A recent reference is the most important one because the experience is fresh in the past employer's mind and it reflects where the employee is now as opposed to several years in the past. People change overtime. Someone who was irresponsible with time 5 years ago may have learned her lesson and is now super punctual. Some nannies burn out so hearing that someone was high energy and took initiative 5 years ago may not be this way anymore.

I agree with a previous poster that many nannies provide fake references or even numbers they know are disconnected to avoid revealing a poor work history. However, I disagree with the perspective that references should be ignored and the nanny just given the benefit of the doubt. This just rewards bad behavior and will lead employers to hire unsuitable nannies (which is exactly what the unsuitable nannies want). Fake references can usually be spotted by engaging the reference in a conversation and verifying details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would have a problem that the missing reference was the most recent one. If the most recent and second were available and the oldest reference was missing then I would be less concerned about it.

A recent reference is the most important one because the experience is fresh in the past employer's mind and it reflects where the employee is now as opposed to several years in the past. People change overtime. Someone who was irresponsible with time 5 years ago may have learned her lesson and is now super punctual. Some nannies burn out so hearing that someone was high energy and took initiative 5 years ago may not be this way anymore.

I agree with a previous poster that many nannies provide fake references or even numbers they know are disconnected to avoid revealing a poor work history. However, I disagree with the perspective that references should be ignored and the nanny just given the benefit of the doubt. This just rewards bad behavior and will lead employers to hire unsuitable nannies (which is exactly what the unsuitable nannies want). Fake references can usually be spotted by engaging the reference in a conversation and verifying details.

Nowhere in any of OP's post does she say that the disconnected number was her most recent job.
You seem bitter.

[Anonymous]

Nowhere in any of OP's post does she say that the disconnected number was her most recent job.
You seem bitter.

What exactly was bitter about that post?

The OP did write that the nanny's last reference was missing. It reads as if OP means the nannies last or previous job not the last one on the list. It is a very bad idea to hire someone who can not produce a reference from their most recent job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nowhere in any of OP's post does she say that the disconnected number was her most recent job.
You seem bitter.

What exactly was bitter about that post?

The OP did write that the nanny's last reference was missing. It reads as if OP means the nannies last or previous job not the last one on the list. It is a very bad idea to hire someone who can not produce a reference from their most recent job.

I took that to mean the last reference on the nanny's list.
Your assumption that many nannies provide false references isn't accurate.
It is not as widespread as you think.

[Anonymous]

I caught 2 candidates with fake references. There are also always a good number of ads or posts that were clearly not written by a MB recommending their former nanny. I think it happens way more than people think. As many moms aren't hiring managers in their professional lives, they are more at risk for not recognizing a fake reference.

Nannies with a bad work history know this and they also know that they can't a job without good references.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would have a problem that the missing reference was the most recent one. If the most recent and second were available and the oldest reference was missing then I would be less concerned about it.

A recent reference is the most important one because the experience is fresh in the past employer's mind and it reflects where the employee is now as opposed to several years in the past. People change overtime. Someone who was irresponsible with time 5 years ago may have learned her lesson and is now super punctual. Some nannies burn out so hearing that someone was high energy and took initiative 5 years ago may not be this way anymore.

I agree with a previous poster that many nannies provide fake references or even numbers they know are disconnected to avoid revealing a poor work history. However, I disagree with the perspective that references should be ignored and the nanny just given the benefit of the doubt. This just rewards bad behavior and will lead employers to hire unsuitable nannies (which is exactly what the unsuitable nannies want). Fake references can usually be spotted by engaging the reference in a conversation and verifying details.

I agree with the bolded comment, but as an experienced nanny, I think it's unfair, to make such a sweeping judgement, about "many nannies". That would be akin to me assuming that every parent would give me a bounced check, nickel and dime me because I've had that happen. It simply isn't true, because I haven't worked with every parent, and you haven't employed every nanny. The appropriate word would be "some." Also, whenever I'm interviewed, by any parent, I'm able to provide enough detailed information about every child I've worked with, that only someone close to the child would be privy to.