Mother's Helper has turned into Nanny's Helper
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Anonymous
| I take care of 1 year old triplets (13 months). It is a lot of fun, but it does keep me on my toes. I've found the way to make it through the day (I work 10 hour days) is to have the entire day planned and pretty structured. I plan a few activities for each day, then leave time in between naps and feedings for free play. MB has a 12 year old neighbor girl who comes over and helps her with things, typically bath and bedtime routines, but I know she comes over for most of the day. Recently, MB has been having her come over while I am there in order "to provide an extra set a hands". While at first I thought it was great having someone to help out, I am now finding it to be a bit annoying. It almost feels like I have another kid to take care of. I feel like I have to constantly observe the way she cares for the girls, sometimes she is a bit rough with them, she struggles with diaper changes, she microwaves the bottles (which to me is a big no-no), and many other things. I am wondering if it is my place to tell MB I don't want this Mother's Helper around when I'm there, but worry that MB will be offended as will the 12 year old girl. Also, do you have any advice on working with a helper? |
Anonymous
| I was in a similar situation with multiples. MB thought that an "extra set of hands" would be really helpful when, in reality, it just makes more work. Be upfront with your MB and let her know that, however well intentioned the Mother's Helper may be (and MB may be for having her there) she is really just disrupting your day and making your job harder. The girl may be offended, but really, she's 12...she'll get over it and hopefully MB respects your position and feelings more. |
Anonymous
|
She's doing this for experience. If you're really unwilling to work with her, talk with MB.
Would you be willing to meet in the middle? Have her come over less? If you are willing to give it at least a trial run: teach her. The bottles: show her how you warm them. The microwave is bad because it creates hot spots in the milk and breaks down nutrients. Not sure what you mean by too rough with them -- they're a year, they can handle a little rough play time. Bring her with you to the playground. Let her slide down the slides holding the kids one by one. Let her help folding laundry Let her play peek a boo or sing songs to them. Let her read stories. |
Anonymous
| Get paid extra for taking care of 4th kid. |
Anonymous
It's not OP's job to teach her these things or to give her tasks to occupy her time while she is there. If MB wants a mother's helper, she should be responsible for training her. When OP has three children to worry about, she does not need to spend time thinking about one more. |
Anonymous
| But if OP would spend a little time teaching, the mother's helper could make her job easier in the long run. Is this girl really going to be able to help much once the school year starts? |
Anonymous
| an extra set of hands would be helpful if it were someone 16-17 yrs old. tell her no more. ASAP. |
Anonymous
Really? I was watching infants by myself at 12. |
Anonymous
Most of us were probably capable of one infant at 12, with supervision. Triplets, however supervised, are just a different story. It sounds like this girl is making OP's job harder (which is the opposite of her intended purpose) and MB should recognize this. Days with multiples have to be pretty regimented and a glitch in the system can really screw things up and make the nanny's job much, much harder. OP, have you chatted with your MB about this yet? |