DC Not Excited About Nanny
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Anonymous
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My son has been with a nanny since he was 6 months old. We had one from 6 - 15 months or so who we were very happy with.
We moved last June and had to hire a new nanny; we had her from June - November of 2012; ended up firing her for a variety of reasons (not listening to directions, didn't like how she talked to my son, neighbors making comments I didn't like about her, one questionable situation that may have been her slapping his hand, etc.) -- but one of the reasons was that my son (who was 15-20 mos. old at the time) really did not seem to like her (for some of the previously stated reasons, I am sure). We hired our current nanny in November of last year. She has been a huge improvement over the previous one - is very warm and loving, good with directions, keeps him busy in lots of ways and goes the extra mile. She clearly loves him and shows that over and over in terms of what she does with him, brings him, chooses as activities for him, etc. She has also been an excellent fit with us as a family, and I find her values and style to really match ours. My son is now almost 2 1/2 months old. Up until recently he was pretty happy with her; he would ask about her on the weekends, and though I saw that he realized when she came I left and wasn't happy about that, he would get over it pretty quickly. However, in the past month or two, my son has started saying that he wants her to go home when she shows up; he is just not that excited to see her. Once I leave the room they play nicely together and I hear him engaging him and making him laugh. Again, though, at the end of the day, he seems to want her to go and I have to sort-of make him kiss her goodbye, etc. She has not reported at all that this goes on once I am out of the house - she states that he is loving to her. He is otherwise a very loving and affectionate kid. He is very verbal and I have tried to engage him on the topic. He will say even on weekends that he 'wants her to go home' and when pressed he will occasionally say she is 'not nice' (though he also on occasion says I'm 'not nice', or even that the dog is 'not nice'). Obviously as a 2 year old his story on anything flip flops multiple times (I want rice, I do not want rice, etc.) so it is very hard to parse out what he means. The only reason I can come up with why he might not like her is that maybe that she is a bit of a talker and I wonder if she is getting into conversations sometimes with other nannies and not as focused on him? Could this be a phase? It is making it very hard for me to leave in the morning and I wonder if I am having PTSD from the last one? It took a lot to find her, we are happy with her on many fronts and I would not take it lightly to let her go . . . Any thoughts much appreciated. |
Anonymous
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This is a phase. When he says he wants her to go home, he means "I want you to stay". When he says she's not nice, he means "it's not nice when you leave".
I'm a nanny and have dealt with this exact situation with a few kids - the transition from parent to caregiver in the morning can be hard some times, especially at this age (I've dealt with this mostly with kids 2-3 years old). I assure you I'm a great nanny and the kids love me - it's just about your son loving you more 
I don't think you have any reason to be concerned. |
Anonymous
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I agree with PP. This is quite typical of 2-3 year olds.
Wait a few weeks and I'm sure he will have stopped saying it. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely I think this is a phase and his burgeoning efforts at parental manipulation. Unless you have any other warning signs I would be unconcerned. |
Anonymous
+1 It's a phase that a lot of kids go through. Some even do this with their own parents. One minute one of my charges (now 3) wants me to stay and do everything with her even after I am off (I am a live-in) and wants her mom to stay away, the next minute she is telling me to go away or that she doesn't want me to come with them somewhere (when I am not even going with them). You have to kind of just laugh it off and know that it's just them being a moody child (the terrible 2's, tragic 3's). |
Anonymous
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"Any THOUGHTS much appreciated"
Are novelist is getting creative. |
Anonymous
+1 and he might be getting some cues from you, whether you realize it or not. He can sense your anxiety/uncertainty. |
Anonymous
If.you think these are all troll posts, just report to jeff. Simple |
Anonymous
| Agree with all the PPs - completely normal stage of development and nothing to be concerned about. |
Anonymous
At least OUR novelist knows how to write. |
Anonymous
AND has no typos... as it should be when you aspire to get paid just for your writing skills. |
Anonymous
This is spot on. I'm an MB with a 2 1/2 year old, and it is definitely a phase. My son's nanny is amazing and loving and warm, and just in the last month, my son has started to say the very same things about her as your child. He also says the same thing to me when he wants daddy (i.e. "I don't like mommy" when he wants daddy to play with him). We just told him that saying he didn't like someone or that the person was "not nice" when they are nice hurts people's feelings and he shouldn't say it if it is not true. When I followed up his "I don't like [nanny]" with "doesn't she play with you?" and "don't you have fun racing cars and going to the park?" he enthusiastically says yes, so I know it is just that he doesn't want me to go and her to arrive. As long as there are no other red flags, I would not worry. |
Anonymous
Actually, our novelist has a few spelling errors. Learn to read. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you all, this really made me feel a lot better. Now I can go back to writing my novel. 
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Anonymous
| He has had three nannies in as many years. Do not kid yourself that all these changes have not affected him, because they have. |