Nanny housing issue, WWYD?
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Anonymous
| Our nanny of 1 year is moving soon and it looks like there might be a period of time (at least a week, maybe a few weeks) when she has to leave her current place but the new place isn't ready. She mentioned today that she might "go to a shelter." I asked her about staying with friends or family but apparently that's not an option. We like her lots but we're not in a position to have her stay with us, even for a limited amount of time. We have a very small space, no guest room and I'm due soon with another baby after which we'll also have family in town. I'm concerned about her not having a stable place to stay but not sure what, if anything, to do to help. |
Anonymous
| That's really a horrible situation. Find her a friend or neighbor to stay with, OP. |
Anonymous
| OP here - Thanks, I thought about that too but not sure how to go about it? We have a few friends in the area but they all live in small condos and no one is looking to take on a tenant. I thought about trying to find a short-term rental for her but we wouldn't be able to pay for it. We're already paying her for time she's not working when I'm home with the baby and I don't get paid maternity leave so $$ is going out with no income coming in from my job. |
Anonymous
|
OP, don't let your nanny suck you into her drama. While it is great that you want to help her, she is trying to manipulate you by saying she may have to "go to a shelter".
Suggest she try using Airbnb. She could find temporary housing for a decent price. NP |
Anonymous
| OP, it's really great that you're trying to help out, but this is not your problem. She really has no friends or family AT ALL that she could stay with even for a handful of days at a time? You can say "nanny, we're happy to house you for the first three nights, but after that, unfortunately, we won't have the space. With the new baby coming and my parents in town, I will have my hands completely full. I really hope you can figure it out with your living space or have a friend or some family that can help you out. Have you tried couch surfing or some similar arrangement?" And then seriously, let it go and don't feel guilty. With a new baby, you really don't have bandwidth for anything else. This is not your issue. |
Anonymous
I disagree with you PP. I don't think the nanny was trying to manipulate her MB by stating she may need to go to a shelter. I think she was being truthful and must have felt so uncomfortable even discussing her situation. The OP never once said her nanny was causing drama, you are making an assumption and sound like a selfish and inconsiderate employer. |
Anonymous
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I'm almost afraid to ask, what is she grossing? Is she supporting other people with her income?
If she needs to take a live-in job, it certainly does become MB's problem. |
Anonymous
As a nanny, and not an employer, I would not mention my living situation to my employer. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and never did I mention to my employers that I could end up living on the streets. When she mentioned the shelter, she was trying to manipulate her employers. NP |
Anonymous
| OP here - thanks for the responses. Re: the wages issue, we pay her a fair rate plus occasional bonuses and health insurance and she also works for another family who does the same. It's none of my business how she manages her money but I've often wondered why she doesn't try to build up at least a small "cushion" for emergencies. She's single but she does have family in the area so to me that's a better option than a shelter, but I guess everyone weights things differently. I did wonder if she was telling me so I would offer to let her stay here but like I said, that's not an option. I agree with PP's that in some ways, this is her issue to figure out. She's an adult. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of person who just ignores someone in a tight spot, especially when they're a partner in taking care of our family. |
Anonymous
| Shelters do not take someone in because they are between sheltet for a week. I have volunteered with the homeless and the shelters are not "rent a room for a week" places. Nanny's story is fishy. |
Anonymous
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I'm an MB. I don't like the sound of "I might have to go to a shelter". Either she's irresponsible and doesn't know how to manage her money and life, or she's manipulative. And if she does have family in the area then it's even more inappropriate for her to be having this kind of conversation w/ her employer.
OP - don't get sucked in. And keep your guard up a little bit - this would worry me. |
Anonymous
| You said in your OP that she only needs a couple of weeks! So fine - you don't want her to stay in your guest room (which is now available while the baby is not yet here.) You don't want to help her out and you're looking for validation here? Apparently you have gotten it from PP's above but you ain't getting it from me |
Anonymous
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This is her problem, not yours. She is trying to avoid having to overlap rent payments. As someone who WAS homeless, nobody who would ever "have to go to a shelter" would EVER casually drop that in conversation to their boss. It is humiliating and terrifying. She is trying to get you to swoop in and save the day.
She needs to keep her old apartment until she's ready to move into the new one. That's her problem. Don't get sucked into her drama. |
Anonymous
| To 14:36, OP said she DOESN'T have a guest room, otherwise maybe this wouldn't be an issue. It also sounds like this isn't happening right now, but is something that is going to happen closer to the time the baby arrives. Read the post again. Obviously she is trying to help which is why she asked the question. |
Anonymous
| There are lots of cheap sublets on Craig's List. Your nanny should be able to figure this out. She mentioned the shelter hoping you'll offer for her to stay with you. |