Nanny housing issue, WWYD?

[Anonymous]

This is your nanny's personal problem to solve, not yours. Her circumstances are unfortunate, but she needs to figure it would for herself. She's an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your nanny's personal problem to solve, not yours. Her circumstances are unfortunate, but she needs to figure it would for herself. She's an adult.

+1 Never would I mention my dire living situation like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny of 1 year is moving soon and it looks like there might be a period of time (at least a week, maybe a few weeks) when she has to leave her current place but the new place isn't ready. She mentioned today that she might "go to a shelter." I asked her about staying with friends or family but apparently that's not an option. We like her lots but we're not in a position to have her stay with us, even for a limited amount of time. We have a very small space, no guest room and I'm due soon with another baby after which we'll also have family in town. I'm concerned about her not having a stable place to stay but not sure what, if anything, to do to help.

I'm sure the nanny could find a residential hotel or cheap motel that she could stay at for 1-3 weeks if she really needed to. If she was planning out this move and saving for it, she could easily have saved a bit of extra money to allow for something like this to happen. I like that you considered putting her up, but understand it is not always feasible. If you could manage it financially, you could offer to perhaps have her work a few extra hours each week to allow her to save some money to help cover for a room during that time between places. Or she can also look for a temp sublet, or even do some house/pet sitting in exchange for a place to stay during that time. If the move is going to be in the summer, there will most likely be someone who could use help for a week or so while they go on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is her problem, not yours. She is trying to avoid having to overlap rent payments. As someone who WAS homeless, nobody who would ever "have to go to a shelter" would EVER casually drop that in conversation to their boss. It is humiliating and terrifying. She is trying to get you to swoop in and save the day.

She needs to keep her old apartment until she's ready to move into the new one. That's her problem. Don't get sucked into her drama.

I agree with this. I was homeless before and I never did that either. I found it very easy to find people that I could stay with, couch surfing for even a night here and there with someone. You said she does have family nearby, and I am sure she would end up asking them before having to try to stay in a shelter. The fact is that most shelters are already full and it would take you up to a week or 2 to get in to them anyways. Most people that I knew that were homeless, didn't want to stay in them either unless it was a rainy season or really cold. Shelters are not hotel rooms. You have to go in early, there is nothing to do, you can get your stuff stolen, and you get kicked out early in the morning. If you don't come back the next night, you usually can't get back in again, they don't save a spot for you if you wanted to go out and do something one night. We would save money and go rent motel rooms and share them with 4-8 people as it was preferred to anything else.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny is either super manipulative, irresponsible, and/or immature and also unprofessional.

She had plenty of time to sort this out or save up $. There's NO excuse for her trying to put this on you especially when you are due with a new baby soon. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to try Airbnb.com or couchsurfing.com.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's really a horrible situation. Find her a friend or neighbor to stay with, OP.

OP can't just go find a friend or neighbor for nanny nor is it her responsibility. People don't want to house random people.

OP - Why is she moving? Did you decided you didn't need her anymore'? How much notice did you give? It's obvious she is moving because of YOU, correct? (not that it's your fault)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the responses. Re: the wages issue, we pay her a fair rate plus occasional bonuses and health insurance and she also works for another family who does the same. It's none of my business how she manages her money but I've often wondered why she doesn't try to build up at least a small "cushion" for emergencies. She's single but she does have family in the area so to me that's a better option than a shelter, but I guess everyone weights things differently. I did wonder if she was telling me so I would offer to let her stay here but like I said, that's not an option. I agree with PP's that in some ways, this is her issue to figure out. She's an adult. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of person who just ignores someone in a tight spot, especially when they're a partner in taking care of our family.

How long of notice did she have? Weeks? Months? If yes then she has noone to blame but herself. If you just told her this week that she needs to leave then you're the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the responses. Re: the wages issue, we pay her a fair rate plus occasional bonuses and health insurance and she also works for another family who does the same. It's none of my business how she manages her money but I've often wondered why she doesn't try to build up at least a small "cushion" for emergencies. She's single but she does have family in the area so to me that's a better option than a shelter, but I guess everyone weights things differently. I did wonder if she was telling me so I would offer to let her stay here but like I said, that's not an option. I agree with PP's that in some ways, this is her issue to figure out. She's an adult. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of person who just ignores someone in a tight spot, especially when they're a partner in taking care of our family.

How long of notice did she have? Weeks? Months? If yes then she has noone to blame but herself. If you just told her this week that she needs to leave then you're the bad guy.

I have no idea where you got this from because no where in OP posts does she say anything about letting the nanny go or that the nanny is moving because of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the responses. Re: the wages issue, we pay her a fair rate plus occasional bonuses and health insurance and she also works for another family who does the same. It's none of my business how she manages her money but I've often wondered why she doesn't try to build up at least a small "cushion" for emergencies. She's single but she does have family in the area so to me that's a better option than a shelter, but I guess everyone weights things differently. I did wonder if she was telling me so I would offer to let her stay here but like I said, that's not an option. I agree with PP's that in some ways, this is her issue to figure out. She's an adult. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of person who just ignores someone in a tight spot, especially when they're a partner in taking care of our family.

How long of notice did she have? Weeks? Months? If yes then she has noone to blame but herself. If you just told her this week that she needs to leave then you're the bad guy.

Re-read, the OP. Nanny is not a live-in!

[Anonymous]

OP here - no, we're not letting her go. Not sure where people got that from or why we have to designate a "bad guy?" She's a live out and she'll still be working for us. As far as I know she's moving to find a place with better rent in a safer neighborhood. From our end, her financial and work situation will be exactly the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's really a horrible situation. Find her a friend or neighbor to stay with, OP.

OP can't just go find a friend or neighbor for nanny nor is it her responsibility. People don't want to house random people.

OP - Why is she moving? Did you decided you didn't need her anymore'? How much notice did you give? It's obvious she is moving because of YOU, correct? (not that it's your fault)

I took it as she is moving from one place to another and has been a LIVE-OUT nanny for the OP. She still has her job, she just was trying to get her MB to let her stay with them while she was between places. Not her MB's (the OP's) job to take care of that for her.