Parent quit their job, won't leave me alone!

[Anonymous]

I like the family I work for and adore the baby, now one year old, but I am so annoyed! Dad quit his job more than a month ago and is now home all day except maybe one or two hours when he's running errands. The house is small so now all day long I'm trying to entertain a toddler and keep him from following dad into the bathroom, out into the garage, etc. Dad hangs out in living ioom with us most of the time and talks my ear off. I feel like I'm here to be a companion to him more than watch the baby sometimes, and feel like I'm under a microscope since he can see and hear everything I do in their shall home. Is there any nice way I can tell him I did not sign up for this? He's trying to start his own business so there is no end in sight. I've been with them over a year, since the baby was 5 weeks. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

*small home (not shall), sorry!

[Anonymous]

I say try and adjust to the situation. I go threw a similar situation because dad is in the Navy and med school and comes sometimes during the day while I'm there with the baby.vibadtually think its helpful because he gives me a break. He'll take the baby on jogs, help feed her and etc. I would say try to talk to him and explain to him how you feel. Keep in mind parents dads especially like to spend extra time with there kids.

[Anonymous]

If you feel the situation has any real hope for a solution, you need to sit both parents down for a talk. Tell dad he needs to be on a consistant schedule as far as being "around" for his child. Ask if he would agree to regular "daddy time". It can be when he wants, but must be consistant, except for emergency changes. You can take advantage of the opportunity to accomplish other tasks. Hopefully they'll recognize the wisdom of this plan.

If dad refuses, I'd start to secure your next job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you feel the situation has any real hope for a solution, you need to sit both parents down for a talk. Tell dad he needs to be on a consistant schedule as far as being "around" for his child. Ask if he would agree to regular "daddy time". It can be when he wants, but must be consistant, except for emergency changes. You can take advantage of the opportunity to accomplish other tasks. Hopefully they'll recognize the wisdom of this plan.

If dad refuses, I'd start to secure your next job.

This is bad advice. Dad can see his baby whenever he wants. If you ask for scheduled visitation, you will be fired, so please line up other employment first.

I would address specific concerns - "I would like to clarify your expectations and my role now that DB is around more."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If you feel the situation has any real hope for a solution, you need to sit both parents down for a talk. Tell dad he needs to be on a consistant schedule as far as being "around" for his child. Ask if he would agree to regular "daddy time". It can be when he wants, but must be consistant, except for emergency changes. You can take advantage of the opportunity to accomplish other tasks. Hopefully they'll recognize the wisdom of this plan.

If dad refuses, I'd start to secure your next job.

This is bad advice. Dad can see his baby whenever he wants. If you ask for scheduled visitation, you will be fired, so please line up other employment first.

I would address specific concerns - "I would like to clarify your expectations and my role now that DB is around more."

It's astounding that we have this sort of ignorance in basic understanding of parenting skills. Children require consistancy in their environment. Having a parent at home with Nanny can work, but it demands self-discipline of the parent. Many are not willing/capable of that sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Get out of the house more. Walks. Playgrounds. Outings. Spend the entire morning out of the house. Come home for lunch and naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get out of the house more. Walks. Playgrounds. Outings. Spend the entire morning out of the house. Come home for lunch and naps.

+1 this is what I do when my MB works from home in their small condo. We are out of each others hair, and I have more control when the interruptions happy, ie. at lunch or a kiss/story before nap.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all your input. I WISH he helped out or entertained the baby when he is around, but he literally is on his ipad and talking to me the whole time about work stuff. If i put the baby down to nap and he cries a little at first, he runs in, talks to the baby and hypes him up so he doesn't sleep. Other times I'll be feeding the baby but he will see Dad eating chips in the kitchen and run for him, so Dad gives him that instead, and I become the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all your input. I WISH he helped out or entertained the baby when he is around, but he literally is on his ipad and talking to me the whole time about work stuff. If i put the baby down to nap and he cries a little at first, he runs in, talks to the baby and hypes him up so he doesn't sleep. Other times I'll be feeding the baby but he will see Dad eating chips in the kitchen and run for him, so Dad gives him that instead, and I become the bad guy.

Looks like daddy is really a little boy himself and needs a nanny to show him how to behave like a parent. If he refuses to learn, quit. Then he'll be forced to grow up and take some responsibility for his child. Maybe that's what mommy actually wants, except they can't bring themselves to say it. But line up your next job first.

[Anonymous]

You need to talk with the parents - together. In a non-judgmental way (so he doesn't get crazy defensive) you need a conversation about what your job will be like for as long as Dad is home, how it complicates the job for you/how they can help make it less disruptive for the child and get their money's worth out of you (putting anything you can in terms of what is easiest/best for the parents will help them hear it better), etc...

Hopefully the mother can be an ally/helpful in working this out, and hopefully the dad can get busy w/ a new job.

And yes - find things to do out of the house, lay out the schedule you had the baby on before the dad was home all the time (and why it's important to maintain that), etc...

Good luck. I wouldn't want to have to deal with it. (And I'm an MB!)

[Anonymous]

I don't see what talkin will do. He's her father. It's his house. If it's bothering you, quit. If you can take the baby on outings then do that. But telling the dad to go hangout somewhere else is wrong. If I were you, I would start looking for a new job today.

[Anonymous]

Deal with it or look for a new job. Most nannies, including yourself, do not like working for a family with one parent around.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, OP, I'd start looking for a new job. Considering how he's been acting so far, I don't think any amount of talking will change his behavior. I once had a temporary four month contract with a family, and a month in the dad unexpectedly changed jobs - with his new job, he was home for half or full days 4 days a week. Granted, they were great and didn't cut my hours, but it was still incredibly annoying. If it hasn't been a temporary situation to begin with, I would have started looking for a new position immediately. Thankfully, my bosses now understand that it is hard on their 1yo to have nanny and parents home at the same time.

I wish I had a better suggestion but for your own sanity, I really think you deserve a job where you don't have to deal with this!

[Anonymous]

Unless you've been through exactly what OP is dealing with, I feel as though you shouldn't or give advice! I myself am going through the same thing in a share position, but with MB. Funny thing is though, I explained nicely in interview, while I know it's your home, and because so small, I really need my space to work with no interruptions! I was assured when working from home, MB would stay in office, sometimes come and say hi, but understood. Ha ha, not only does she come home early, she takes her shoes off, changes her clothes and sitting with me playing with her son for 2 or so hours. This is at least 1-2 times a week, and now her hubby doing the same thing..extremely annoying, and not what I signed up for!

Nanny, mother's helper, or I guess the now new position, mother's hang out buddy are separate(or dad's hang out buddy)have separate meanings-I for one signed a contract to be a nanny, nothing else!!!!