Help me feel better about taking kids out of daycare to be with a nanny

[Anonymous]

I have a heavy heart about our decision to take our 2 year old and 4 month old out of daycare to be with a nanny. We love the center they are in, but I am reducing my hours and the center does not have part-time options. We also are hoping that a nanny will make our mornings and evenings easier so we can enjoy our family time better. But, I didn't expect to be so sad about leaving daycare. I am a worry wort by nature, so my mind is reeling about all the things that could go wrong. Please help reassure me we made the right decision. FWIW, I think we found a great nanny, but of course I don't know for sure.

[Anonymous]

You have a 2yo and a 4month old in daycare and you are sad to leave daycare? They will be so much better with a nanny with undivided attention and plenty of exposure to so many activities that they wouldn't otherwise get. You should be happy they are going to be with one person focused on their well being and only their well being.

[Anonymous]

OP you'll know really quickly whether or not you hired a great nanny, and hopefully you did! (If not, make use of the standard probationary period of 2-4 weeks and dismiss her if it's not going well, then try again.)

Once you have a great nanny you'll wonder why you ever thought daycare was a better option. Your kids will almost certainly be better rested, they'll be able to have days that suit them (e.g. when 2yo is sick, they can have a lazy day, when the weather is hot, they can spend the whole day at the wading pool, etc.), you won't have to do anything to get them out of the door in the morning, they'll have 1:2 (and some 1:1) attention that they could never receive in daycare, which allows the nanny to teach new skills effectively. They'll bond deeply with her and be thrilled to see her every day, and you'll be happy knowing they have one more adult who loves them in their world network. Your nanny will do activities like finger painting, making gloop or flubber, going to the airport to watch the planes taking off, swimming, dance parties, story time, and more. Your 2yo will have plenty of other children to interact with at the park, at playgroups, or at activities she takes him/her too. Your nanny should be able to handle all of their laundry, a good chunk of their food preparation, and keep their toys sanitized and organized. She might even be able to handle daily baths, handing them back clean at the end of the day so you can enjoy playing with them for an hour or two before bed.

Really, it'll be wonderful OP.

[Anonymous]

*to

and maybe some other. Sorry for the typos.

[Anonymous]

Focus on establishing a healthy longterm relationship with your new nanny. Stability is your key for success. Will your nanny days be back-to-back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a 2yo and a 4month old in daycare and you are sad to leave daycare? They will be so much better with a nanny with undivided attention and plenty of exposure to so many activities that they wouldn't otherwise get. You should be happy they are going to be with one person focused on their well being and only their well being.

Nothing wrong with daycares. They are not better or worse than having a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I imagine a huge part of your apprehension is simply the unknown. Did you feel nervous as you were beginning to send your first child to day care? New situations are certainly nerve-wracking. If you didn't have at least a minor concern, that would be concerning to me. Best wishes with your new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Are you sure there are no part time daycare options?

I think the nanny option is better for your infant but your 2 year old may miss being around other kids. Your can sign him up for classes at the Y or the little gym and have nanny take him to story time at the library and other activities so he still gets to socialize during the day.

Bottom line is there's nothing to feel sad about. Both are good options, and you can make the nanny option work if that's the best option for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

If you think you want a camera, put that in the contract. Otherwise the nanny may immediately quit when she finds out about it.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, my hopes are that you found a good fit for your family and you will soon realize that taking them out of day care was the right choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

If you think you want a camera, put that in the contract. Otherwise the nanny may immediately quit when she finds out about it.

+1

Do tell your nanny if you have cameras, you don't have to tell her where they are but let her know that she is being recorded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

If you think you want a camera, put that in the contract. Otherwise the nanny may immediately quit when she finds out about it.

+1

Do tell your nanny if you have cameras, you don't have to tell her where they are but let her know that she is being recorded.

Great idea Then she can put on her best behavior and neglect him when shes out of view of the cameras

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get a nanny cam and do serious background checks before hiring.

If you think you want a camera, put that in the contract. Otherwise the nanny may immediately quit when she finds out about it.

+1

Do tell your nanny if you have cameras, you don't have to tell her where they are but let her know that she is being recorded.

Great idea Then she can put on her best behavior and neglect him when shes out of view of the cameras

Which would be where, out in public? Where other moms, neighbors, and community members are watching? My MB hears from multiple other moms every week about what they saw me doing with her child when we were out and about, it really isn't that hard to find out how your nanny is performing in public if you spend even a little time participating in your community. Then you've got the cameras for when they're not in public and...that's about as much information as you can reasonably expect to have.

Whatever, I think you're a troll anyway. Presumably this mom has done her due diligence and hired a nanny who isn't going to neglect her kids whether she's being watched or not, but nannies of all skill levels, including the very best, will walk out of a job if they find out they've been recorded without their knowledge. Put it as a minor clause in the contract and you're covered. My contract, which I offer to parents, includes a clause saying parents maintain the right to use cameras and will ensure they don't record any part of the bathrooms. We discuss it when we go over all of the other points and it gives us a chance to figure out where each party stands and no one is even potentially endangered by that disclosure.