Anyone get a nanny more as a companion for themselves?
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Anonymous
| I am a first time expectant mom. DH works 80 hours per week and we have no family in the area or anywhere near here (they are 4000 miles away). Also, we've only lived here 2 years and don't really know many people yet. I am constantly lonely. I will return to work part-time after the baby arrives, and we would like to get a nanny. But I am thinking about hiring a full-time nanny (even though I will be only working part-time) more as a companion for me--someone to go out for lunch with, to go shopping with, to just be with since we have no family here. Maybe someone who can also teach me some new skills, such as sewing, knitting, etc. Would that be an odd thing to do? |
Anonymous
| One cannot hire or buy friends. This is a stupendously stupid idea. |
Anonymous
That's pretty harsh. Obviously you have no idea what it's like to have no family support, and to be new to an area and not know anyone. It is very, very lonely. I long to just have someone around to spend time with. I hate always doing things alone. |
Anonymous
| Unusual? Yes. I have actually done that before. The only thing the mom did was tennis twice a week. Other than that, we were together most of the time with the baby. |
Anonymous
|
OP I was in your shoes just 3 years ago and it was the best decision ever! She was amazing! Just my age going through a lot in her own family and it was a very enriching experience for both of us. I helped her and she helped me.
We're still friends today even though we're 2000 miles away. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I am wondering if it would be better for me to find a nanny more around my age (mid-30s) or an older woman? |
Anonymous
| It really depends on the person and the chemistry between you. I think it'd most likely be an older person. |
Anonymous
| I would think if you're looking for a companion, you'd want someone similar in age? I'd take this kind of job if I clicked with the MB. All day with an infant can be lonely for a mom or a nanny. |
Anonymous
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OP here. What I envision for this situation is that the nanny will be with my child while I am working part-time, probably 2-3 days per week. The rest of the days, nanny, myself, and the baby will go out for lunch, shopping, zoo, park, do baby activities together, or watch the baby while I clean the house, do errands, etc. and it would be great if the nanny could teach me some skills I'd like to learn (cooking, sewing, knitting, language skills, etc.)
Does this sound like a job that would appeal to some nannies? This is my first experience working with a nanny and I am still learning about this whole process. |
Anonymous
I tried an older lady and she was always judging me under her breath and everything I did was somehow either wrong or she would laugh saying I was inexperienced.. You won't have time to knit or sew, believe me LOL You need someone who will bend to pic up the sock your baby just lost, a quick proactive person who will carry the groceries for you and won't mind holding the door for you while you hold the baby. Someone your age or younger. The friend I found was a housekeeper who lived with us in exchange for room and board. I gave her gift cards for stores she liked all the time so she'd invite me to go out with her when she wanted to spend it, etc. I always paid for her meals when we went out and we got to the point we would share dishes, etc. It was a very very nice time we spent together. DH traveled for work so I was alone a lot, 5 days of the week. It was the perfect set up. |
Anonymous
| Nanny here. I would take a job like this if the chemistry was right. Sounds like fun. I had a sort of similar job with a family I worked for where the mom was home a lot with me and the kids so we would just hang out or all go out together. It was fun and we really enjoyed each other's company. |
Anonymous
| This is basically like working for a SAHM. The only issue will be that if you are friend, it will be hard to bring things up and keep it professional when you need to discuss employment issues. |
Anonymous
| OP, you will probably find it easier to meet people when you are home with a baby part time as opposed to working full time. Why not start with a part time nanny and make a concerted effort to join moms groups, host neighborhood playdates, take classes with the baby, etc? It's hard to mix businesses with friendship. |
Anonymous
| Hi OP, You sound like a friendly person and probably well-equipped to find friends on your own. Can you go to a mommy and me class or even a meetup group for new moms? I really think you should keep business and pleasure separate. |
Anonymous
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I think what you propose is fine. It's more unusual to word it as you did, but this definitely happens a lot.
Choose someone your age, ideally going through some of the same life stages. Don't hire someone who has never worked with an at home parent before. |