Stalking problem-- should I tell my mb and db?

[Anonymous]

I have a stalker problem but I am not sure who it is. They have been leaving notes on my car at home and sending me unwanted emails. I have changed addresses and phone numbers but he keeps finding me. The police are aware of it but told me that there is nothing they can do until I know who it is and he has to threaten me. Should I tell my MB and DB?

[Anonymous]

I think you should if you truly care for the safety of your charge(s).. Infact, I think it would be kind've selfish not to and your employers will be upset if they find out and realized you failed to tell them. Even though it's not your fault.

That is scary and if I were you i'd get night-vision security cameras and stick them outside so you can see who is leaving you notes.

I had a stalker issue with a ex boyfriend (me AND my family had to get restraining orders) but the difference is, I knew it was him.. The fact that this stalker is unknown is even scarier. I wonder if it's someone playing pranks on you? Definitely invest in a camera and tell your employers. Also, take different routes to/from your home.

Also, it may be a creepy neighbor? old boyfriend? Pay attention to your surroundings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should if you truly care for the safety of your charge(s).. Infact, I think it would be kind've selfish not to and your employers will be upset if they find out and realized you failed to tell them. Even though it's not your fault.

That is scary and if I were you i'd get night-vision security cameras and stick them outside so you can see who is leaving you notes.

I had a stalker issue with a ex boyfriend (me AND my family had to get restraining orders) but the difference is, I knew it was him.. The fact that this stalker is unknown is even scarier. I wonder if it's someone playing pranks on you? Definitely invest in a camera and tell your employers. Also, take different routes to/from your home.

Also, it may be a creepy neighbor? old boyfriend? Pay attention to your surroundings.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes, tell your employers. You are in their home looking after their children.

I cannot imagine how this would feel. I agree with investing in a camera, and be very careful.

[Anonymous]

Agree with other posters that you need to tell your employer, for all the reasons noted above. Also, if the stalking didn't start prior to you starting this job, it could be someone in the area of your employment or otherwise connected to the parents, the kids, or a place you frequent with the kids. The parents need to know so they too can be on the lookout for anything suspicious and also work with you to increase security while you're working. Who knows--they may even have ideas about who it could be.

[Anonymous]

A bit off point, but have the police traced the location of the computer from which the emails are being sent? They may also be able to subpoena the ISP for the name of the account owner from which the emails are being sent. You should ask them to do this. If they resist, consider talking to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

If my nanny told me she had a stalker, I would let her go.

I would pay her a generous severance, but that would be it.

OP I think you should tell them and I think you should be prepared to find a new job. I personally think you have an obligation to disclose this to anyone you interview with, and in fact I don't think you should be working in a personal position with children like this (in a preschool or daycare center would be fine, because there would be additional security in place by the school/center) until the situation is resolved. However, I accept that you probably won't share this information with everyone and can understand why.

Good luck in getting the situation under control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with other posters that you need to tell your employer, for all the reasons noted above. Also, if the stalking didn't start prior to you starting this job, it could be someone in the area of your employment or otherwise connected to the parents, the kids, or a place you frequent with the kids. The parents need to know so they too can be on the lookout for anything suspicious and also work with you to increase security while you're working. Who knows--they may even have ideas about who it could be.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should if you truly care for the safety of your charge(s).. Infact, I think it would be kind've selfish not to and your employers will be upset if they find out and realized you failed to tell them. Even though it's not your fault.

That is scary and if I were you i'd get night-vision security cameras and stick them outside so you can see who is leaving you notes.

I had a stalker issue with a ex boyfriend (me AND my family had to get restraining orders) but the difference is, I knew it was him.. The fact that this stalker is unknown is even scarier. I wonder if it's someone playing pranks on you? Definitely invest in a camera and tell your employers. Also, take different routes to/from your home.

Also, it may be a creepy neighbor? old boyfriend? Pay attention to your surroundings.

Kind of, not kind've. You are not trying to say kind have. I know my comment is irrelevant, but your spelling error was too large to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Yes, tell them. I've had this problem before and you should tell trusted people, both for support and protection. The secrecy will only enhance the fear.

My employers were wonderfully supportive and helped snap me out of being terrified.

[Anonymous]

Novelist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should if you truly care for the safety of your charge(s).. Infact, I think it would be kind've selfish not to and your employers will be upset if they find out and realized you failed to tell them. Even though it's not your fault.

That is scary and if I were you i'd get night-vision security cameras and stick them outside so you can see who is leaving you notes.

I had a stalker issue with a ex boyfriend (me AND my family had to get restraining orders) but the difference is, I knew it was him.. The fact that this stalker is unknown is even scarier. I wonder if it's someone playing pranks on you? Definitely invest in a camera and tell your employers. Also, take different routes to/from your home.

Also, it may be a creepy neighbor? old boyfriend? Pay attention to your surroundings.

Kind of, not kind've. You are not trying to say kind have. I know my comment is irrelevant, but your spelling error was too large to ignore.

Get a LIFE!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I would tread lightly with this. As another poster already indicated, you very well may lose your job if you tell them. I had a stalker situation a few years ago and when I disclosed this to my bosses I was fired and asked to move immediately (live in). I would stay close to home/at home with the children, planning more activities we can do at the house. I'd also alter my route/routines, but I would not say anything to my employers unless/until I was prepared to be out of a job and have difficulty finding a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Novelist.

This is similar to an old post on the old nanny forum. I even looked at the date this was first posted to see if someone had dragged out the old post out of limbo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my nanny told me she had a stalker, I would let her go.

I would pay her a generous severance, but that would be it.

OP I think you should tell them and I think you should be prepared to find a new job. I personally think you have an obligation to disclose this to anyone you interview with, and in fact I don't think you should be working in a personal position with children like this (in a preschool or daycare center would be fine, because there would be additional security in place by the school/center) until the situation is resolved. However, I accept that you probably won't share this information with everyone and can understand why.

Good luck in getting the situation under control.

+1. I make no apologies about protecting my children, and a nanny with a stalker, abusive spouse/boyfriend, etc etc. would not be permitted around my children. I cannot risk having the problem brought into my home.