Stalking problem-- should I tell my mb and db?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my nanny told me she had a stalker, I would let her go.

I would pay her a generous severance, but that would be it.

OP I think you should tell them and I think you should be prepared to find a new job. I personally think you have an obligation to disclose this to anyone you interview with, and in fact I don't think you should be working in a personal position with children like this (in a preschool or daycare center would be fine, because there would be additional security in place by the school/center) until the situation is resolved. However, I accept that you probably won't share this information with everyone and can understand why.

Good luck in getting the situation under control.

+1. I make no apologies about protecting my children, and a nanny with a stalker, abusive spouse/boyfriend, etc etc. would not be permitted around my children. I cannot risk having the problem brought into my home.

Good job ladies. You've done nothing but encourage her and other nannies to keep issues like this from employers. She could be your nanny for all you know. How does that keep your children safe?

[Anonymous]

OP, have you already reported the emails to anyone?
If you're for real this is easy to solve.

[Anonymous]

With all the technology out there- I'd make use of it and put an end to this. Cameras are your friend. Hide one in a bear on your windshield or car seat or something.

Be a squeaky wheel to police, but no crying wolf. Make sure friends know where you are/intended route/etc.

I think if you tell your bosses you'll be fired, and likely have an impossible time finding a new job. Though I know I'd want to know! Ultimately only you can decide what to do based on the nature of the stalking/etc. If threat are made, especially if they involve your work- then you need to talk to employers regardless of potential job loss, IMO.

Buy mace- and keep it away from the children! You may also want to take some personal defense classes/rape prevention classes.

[Anonymous]

This is obviously fake. Come on, people.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, do you really have NO IDEA who it might be? A jealous ex, a scorned friend, etc.??? I have a hard time believing that you have no idea who it could be. Unless you are famous, most everyone would know who was stalking them.

You CAN tell your family, but then you risk that they will let you go immediately. The family will have to protect their children first and foremost and cannot risk putting them in danger no matter what.

You can also elect not to disclose this, but if you really really care about the welfare of the children here, it really is the responsible thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my nanny told me she had a stalker, I would let her go.

I would pay her a generous severance, but that would be it.

OP I think you should tell them and I think you should be prepared to find a new job. I personally think you have an obligation to disclose this to anyone you interview with, and in fact I don't think you should be working in a personal position with children like this (in a preschool or daycare center would be fine, because there would be additional security in place by the school/center) until the situation is resolved. However, I accept that you probably won't share this information with everyone and can understand why.

Good luck in getting the situation under control.

+1. I make no apologies about protecting my children, and a nanny with a stalker, abusive spouse/boyfriend, etc etc. would not be permitted around my children. I cannot risk having the problem brought into my home.

Good job ladies. You've done nothing but encourage her and other nannies to keep issues like this from employers. She could be your nanny for all you know. How does that keep your children safe?

What, would it be better if we lied?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should if you truly care for the safety of your charge(s).. Infact, I think it would be kind've selfish not to and your employers will be upset if they find out and realized you failed to tell them. Even though it's not your fault.

That is scary and if I were you i'd get night-vision security cameras and stick them outside so you can see who is leaving you notes.

I had a stalker issue with a ex boyfriend (me AND my family had to get restraining orders) but the difference is, I knew it was him.. The fact that this stalker is unknown is even scarier. I wonder if it's someone playing pranks on you? Definitely invest in a camera and tell your employers. Also, take different routes to/from your home.

Also, it may be a creepy neighbor? old boyfriend? Pay attention to your surroundings.

Kind of, not kind've. You are not trying to say kind have. I know my comment is irrelevant, but your spelling error was too large to ignore.

LOL, who cares? You DCum users are WEIRD!

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd tell them most definitely. Also, if they let you go then I'm sure you can get unemployment due to the fact that being stalked is not your fault.

I also think it may be somebody you kno versus a random stranger.. Ex boyfriend, neighbor, or someone close to your family or friends.

If this just recently started then it may not technically be stalking. Leaving an anonymous email or letter isn't stalking unless it's very persistent (prank calls, threats, ignoring your privacy, etc.)
Tell whomever it is to stop contacting you and if he/she continues then I'd definitely go what many other posters suggested.

[Anonymous]

I just saw something on the News tonight about this very thing.

A woman was fired from her job since she had a stalker ex who her bosses considered a threat to her students. (She is a teacher.)
Her bosses claimed they fired her because if they kept her on, it would put the safety and welfare of all of the students in her particular school in danger.

She is really hurt by this because she feels the school is just giving her ex more power to ruin her life.
Sadly, she says this is a perfect example of how Domestic Violence victims get victimized again and again by society. The stalker has all the power and is the winner here.

Your thoughts??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw something on the News tonight about this very thing.

A woman was fired from her job since she had a stalker ex who her bosses considered a threat to her students. (She is a teacher.)
Her bosses claimed they fired her because if they kept her on, it would put the safety and welfare of all of the students in her particular school in danger.

She is really hurt by this because she feels the school is just giving her ex more power to ruin her life.
Sadly, she says this is a perfect example of how Domestic Violence victims get victimized again and again by society. The stalker has all the power and is the winner here.

Your thoughts??

This is precisely what will happen to OP if she tells. Do I think it'd be best for the kids if she did? Yes. Do I understand a parent not wanting that around their kids? Yes. But I also would understand if OP chose to keep it to herself for these reasons. It really is just giving your stalker too much power. It's not fair that OP should suffer because of some loon threatening her. It's just sad for everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Novelist.

This is similar to an old post on the old nanny forum. I even looked at the date this was first posted to see if someone had dragged out the old post out of limbo.

It's true. OP is the Tall Tale Troll.