Friend comes over every day!

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny for three children, one who is school aged...the other two and infant and a toddler. The oldest boy has a friend in the neighborhood who is over ALL THE TIME. I don't feel as if I have the right to tell him to go home, since the MB and DB agree that he can come over in the afternoons. However, I am the one responsible for him when he is over since they are still at work. Should I bring this up, or just deal with it? He is 10, so it's not like I'm changing diapers...but....it's still a responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

*over

[Anonymous]

He's 10... They are probably out of sight playing video games and doing boy stuff... If anything it's probably easier because he's entertaining your charge. If that was me I'd be fine with that. Unless your making this friend dinner/driving him places or anything else then how is it an inconvenience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

Does that mean OP is to be paid less if dc goes to friends house?

[Anonymous]

I'd love it if a playdate came over every day. Then I could get some down time in my 14hr day during the baby's afternoon nap!! Otherwise I have to entertain the 7 year old the whole time when I need to prep dinner and just have a minute to myself to recharge. When she has a playdate they go play dolls in her room and I can have a break!!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you don't mind generally that he is there but would sometimes like to be able to draw a line and send him home, so talk to your MB/DB and say that usually you're happy to have John over to play in the afternoons but since you are responsible for him while he's there you want to know that you have their blessing to sometimes send him home or decline to host. Why can't your charge go to his house sometimes? Just talk to them about it casually, I wouldn't make a big fuss as I suspect they'll be fine with whatever you want to do about it.

[Anonymous]

I am currently in the exact same situation! I have no issue at all with the friend-he's a sweet 10 yo boy who is no trouble at all. My issue is with the friend's Mom. His Mom is friends with my charge's Mom and thinks she can drop him off while she takes her other child to a sport practice a half hour away 3 times a week. When this happens I am there 1 hour or more later and not paid for my time. My bigger issue is that there is absolutely NO respect for my time by either of these 2 Moms at all! I have now spoken with them both about this and I'm looking for another position. I'll see if anything is better next week but I doubt it. I basically told them both that I'm done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

Does that mean OP is to be paid less if dc goes to friends house?

+1. Of course the nanny is not entitled to extra pay because a 10 year old charge has his friend over. Having friends around is a standard part of babysitting for a child that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am currently in the exact same situation! I have no issue at all with the friend-he's a sweet 10 yo boy who is no trouble at all. My issue is with the friend's Mom. His Mom is friends with my charge's Mom and thinks she can drop him off while she takes her other child to a sport practice a half hour away 3 times a week. When this happens I am there 1 hour or more later and not paid for my time. My bigger issue is that there is absolutely NO respect for my time by either of these 2 Moms at all! I have now spoken with them both about this and I'm looking for another position. I'll see if anything is better next week but I doubt it. I basically told them both that I'm done!

Your situation sounds completely different from that of the OP. If a charges' friend is visiting on a regular basis, the friend should be able to get himself home promptly if something happens and you need to kick him out. Also, you should not be working an extra hour to accommodate the friends' siblings game. In this case, you've been turned into a share nanny. The parents needed to clear that with you and pay for the extra time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

*over

To 16:32 and 18:49,
Here in the US it's considered common courtesy to reciprocate when your child is invited for a playdate. Perhaps you'd find an etiquette book to be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

*over

To 16:32 and 18:49,
Here in the US it's considered common courtesy to reciprocate when your child is invited for a playdate. Perhaps you'd find an etiquette book to be helpful.

Perhaps you need to re-read the original post. If the kid were five, you would have a point. But he's ten, and ten year olds don't do supervised play dates. In fact, a great many ten year olds--apparently including the friend in OP's post--are routinely left home alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them how many times a week is ok with you. They should be either paying you extra OR inviting your charge ove to their house an equal number of times.
You're being taken advantage of.

*over

To 16:32 and 18:49,
Here in the US it's considered common courtesy to reciprocate when your child is invited for a playdate. Perhaps you'd find an etiquette book to be helpful.

Perhaps you need to re-read the original post. If the kid were five, you would have a point. But he's ten, and ten year olds don't do supervised play dates. In fact, a great many ten year olds--apparently including the friend in OP's post--are routinely left home alone.

You want to leave two ten years olds alone? I don't think so. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the friends home life isn't great and feels more comfortable at dc's house, or maybe they play at his house when you don't work? I don't really get why you'd want to send him home unless it was late or you were taking charges out. If you did send friend home, dc would probably just go back to his room and "play" alone. Why not have his friend for company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love it if a playdate came over every day. Then I could get some down time in my 14hr day during the baby's afternoon nap!! Otherwise I have to entertain the 7 year old the whole time when I need to prep dinner and just have a minute to myself to recharge. When she has a playdate they go play dolls in her room and I can have a break!!

I really wouldn't mind it if it were not every afternoon until MB and DB come home and then he's gone. He is a good kid, and yes...for the most part it keeps the older boy busy. School just let out, so I'm sure he will be here all day. That is my main concern, I like taking the children out and do not wish to take a fourth child, but I feel conflicted about telling him he must go home. It's not my duty. He sometimes eats dinner, but again...no big deal that he stays because it's not like I pay for the food, and making extra isn't really a hassle. It's just like I've gotten an extra kid added, and NO I do not expect extra pay unless it becomes 24/7.