Should I give up on this idea?

[Anonymous]

My last day is in 8 weeks, I approached my MB with the idea of a small gift for my charges (stickerbooks, etc) and she said no. So, I'm trying to think of something my charges and I can do together on my last day. I was thinking of a trip to the swimming pool, I wanted to bake cupcakes together but MB said no to that as well. Any suggestions? It can't be food or material gifts. I'm feeling a bit discouraged after being turned down twice and wondering if I should just let go the idea of doing something special for the kids.

[Anonymous]

GOOD GRIEF! First of all, congratulations on getting away from this nightmare MB. I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what a mother could POSSIBLY find wrong with stickerbooks (not recyclable?). But I don't think you should give up on doing something special for you and the kids. You all deserve some special time and closure. Can you cook a special (healthy) lunch together? Or even arrange/cut their normal food into cute shapes? You can look through pictures of things you've done together and talk about all the memories you've shared. You can make anything special just by being excited about it. If they love books, have a book marathon. If they love Legos, help them build the biggest tower ever.
You could make a special craft to give each other. Tell the kids it's a magic "whateveritis" that holds big hugs. You all give the thing you made several big hugs, then give them to each other. So later on when you miss each other, you can get a hug from them by hugging the thing.

[Anonymous]

Thank-you Those are some wonderful ideas, I like the idea of special crafts or book marathons. We do a lot of reading and crafts but I'll try to make it special and creative this time.

MB is actually a pretty good boss. She said she doesn't like her kids to see food or gifts as a reward. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Give the kids some pictures of you all together, you could even make a photobook on shutterfly. And IMO you should stop asking the MB about it. A gift shouldn't be questioned, and after you give it, you'll be gone, so if the MB is so ungrateful that she hates it, she can figure out what to do with it then.

[Anonymous]

Start working on a sticker book together with the kids now. Then when you leave, they will have a portion of it done and can continue to work on it after you are gone. They will always think of you as they add more stickers, remember all the times that you added certain ones, and can keep using it and not just looking at it over time. I can't think of a reason a MB could say that is a gift (with how she sees it), if it is something you have been working on for 2 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give the kids some pictures of you all together, you could even make a photobook on shutterfly. And IMO you should stop asking the MB about it. A gift shouldn't be questioned, and after you give it, you'll be gone, so if the MB is so ungrateful that she hates it, she can figure out what to do with it then.

Yeah I wasn't pushing the idea on her or anything. I just asked "MB would you mind if I gave the kids a small gift or at least baked cupcakes with them on my last day?" No to both. Unfortunately MB has a strict no photo policy too. Since my camera is on my phone she doesn't want pictures of her kids taken and accidentally uploaded to the internet.

[Anonymous]

Does MB ever give the kids a gift?

[Anonymous]

What abut a special outing?

[Anonymous]

Good lord - she sounds pretty nuts. If MB is a good boss and you have a decent relationship with her why don't you tell her that you would really like to do something special for or with the kids, something to commemorate the time you've had with them or let them know how much you care about them, even though you're leaving. Ask her what she would be comfortable with. Maybe she's weird about gifts but a mom saying no to a request like that (if she's good on other fronts) seems hard to imagine.

I love the ongoing project idea that a PP suggested. Love the "loading hugs into a project" idea too - so sweet! I'm going to borrow that one for when I have to travel for work.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand how you want to celebrate your last day, want something really special, and want the kids to really miss you. This is natural BUT perhaps the mom doesn't want you to make a huge deal out of leaving so the short term transition for the kids is easier.

Honestly, kids are super resilient and move on fast so I don't think this is a particularly worrisome issue. They may focus on how much they miss you by remembering the super cool pool and cupcake party for a week but they'll soon be on to other things. However, the mom may be concerned about this and as you are employee you need to respect her wishes.

[Anonymous]

Ask the kids what THEY want to do. Something you think is nothing may be huge to them. My DD once told me "We always go to the same places; I want to go on an adventure." Yeah, know what she meant? She wanted to ride the bus and put the money in, to go to the same places.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. And yes, 9:36 I know the kids are resilient and will on to different things the day (or hour) after I leave, lol. I just wanted to do something nice for them. It wasn't some kind of desperate attempt for them to remember me. Just "something to do". We decided to go to the pool on my last day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I understand how you want to celebrate your last day, want something really special, and want the kids to really miss you. This is natural BUT perhaps the mom doesn't want you to make a huge deal out of leaving so the short term transition for the kids is easier.

Honestly, kids are super resilient and move on fast so I don't think this is a particularly worrisome issue. They may focus on how much they miss you by remembering the super cool pool and cupcake party for a week but they'll soon be on to other things. However, the mom may be concerned about this and as you are employee you need to respect her wishes.

This is absurd.

If my MB ever asked me not to spend my last day at work doing anything OTHER than celebrating our time together with the kids, I'd ignore her wishes completely. The kids will be fine, as will I, but we have earned the chance to do something a little special to commemorate the end of our years together. Only a jealous MB would try to forbid such a thing, anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think your MB is sending you a subliminal hint that she doesn't want you to do anything special for the kids.

You sound like a very loving and thoughtful Nanny who truly cares about her charges.
Your boss on the other hand, not so much.

Since she IS the parent here, you really have no choice but to do what she wants which is to do nothing out of the ordinary for those precious kids.


She sounds kinda weird.

[Anonymous]

Your boss sounds insane and oddly enough you're still defending her. She sounds like she doesn't want you to have any special time with the kids and that is really sad and selfish.