MB on maternity leave! HELP!!

[Anonymous]

I have been in a nanny share with two sisters for going on three months. MB "A" has a three year old and MB "B" has a nine month old. MB "A" seems like a complete troll and failed to inform me of DS's behavior, in which now has progressed to calling people "stupid" and pretty much controlling the household, ONLY when MB is around. MB "B" is fantastic and her baby is my "go to girl." She is very bubbly and easy going and not high maintenance at all. Mb "A" have bumped heads on several occasions from, her and DB constantly being late, to reducing hours and cutting pay even though we have a contract. MB "B" is very upset at her sister for treating the way she has.

My problem now is that prior to my employment I was informed that when MB "A" goes on maternity leave that I can use either home to continue the share. I have expressed to her once via email my concern for DS behavior and offered my services in picking him up and dropping him off at the available home. She neglected the topic. Today I addressed the issue again via text due to the fact that I am very out of my element and feel awkward when she is around (as any nanny would). Also, DS's behavior was just awful. She informs me that the benefit of taking a leave is to spend more time with DS. However, she was constantly on her phone, on the computer doing work, and asking him to go play with me and the DD (Mb "B" daughter"). He wouldn't bulge. I am expressed my concern in great detail to her sister and her sister has also expressed her concern to me as well. The reason the last nanny didn't stay was because of the same reason (no consideration in regards to the nanny from the parents).

I really want to stay with MB "B" who first brought the subject up to me. However, I do not want to put the sisters in a position where they do not speak to each other however, I am in a position in which I was planning on quitting today.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

That must be frustrating OP. How long is she on her leave? Also, you care for a newborn now? Did you (or are you) getting a raise? I don't completely understand how that works in a share...

Anywhoo, it seems as if MB A is more arrogant/ignorant and slightly appreciating and doesn't like the truth (or doesn't believe she's in the wrong).. Maybe she'd understand more if you, instead of MB B, spoke to her since the two of you aren't siblings which can sometimes make a discussion/criticism blow up.

Also, you haven't really given any details on why MB A is so overbearing. Is she? or is it just the child's behavior? If the latter then I'd just suck it up for several weeks I mean how bad can it be? I know compared to the laid back child but then again there are difficult kids out there and being a nanny requires you to work with it. Just be thankful it's only temporary and get out as much as possible. It's spring, almost Summer so the kids should be out anyways.

[Anonymous]

What is going to happen at the end of the maternity leave? Are you going to be in charge of all three kids? Do you want to do that?

Also, 3-year-olds are awful. They test, test, test and then they're sweet. Your 3-year-old just got a new baby borther/sister, so on top of being 3, he's got the change/sibling thing going on. Somehow you need to spearate your feelings about MB "A" from your feelings about the older child.

[Anonymous]

Op here, in response to 16:06, her leave is for 3 months. I am not being compensated for the third child and I am not required to help out with the third child however, there are times in which she gives me the look that says "are you not going to ask if I need help!?" I actually have expressed my concerns to her on several occasions but she keeps brushing them off. I'm not sure why she is over bearing at all. Its not the child. He called her stupud and all she did was say "I know you don't mean that." Like really wtf? The weather in chicago is complete crap. All it does is rain so we can't do much outside


In response to 16:08, when her maternity leave is up I guess they will inform me of whether the sister will be continuing the share (as she is a school teacher and is off for the summer). I have tried to talk about that now before that time evens comes and they take me by a total surprise as they just did when MB A cut my hours and pay and it was never discussed. I would like a three child nanny-share, I don't have a problem with that.

Thanks for the advice.

[Anonymous]

Quit.

Quit as professionally as you can without giving any reasons beyond "it isn't working out."

I can't think of any way to politely say you will work for one of them but not the other while you are quitting. If you get the sense that MB "B" might be agreeable to that, you can tell her afterwards by saying something like, "I hope you know that my resignation has nothing to do with you. I totally understand if you want DC in a share with his cousins, but if you change your mind and want to pair up with another family I'd love to keep working for you." Chances are slim she'd be able to take you up on that without seriously alienating her [entitled] sister, but I think if it's done after the formalities that it wouldn't hurt anything.

[Anonymous]

*her cousins

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your choices are to quit or to just wait and see. I couldn't take the uncertainty. Maybe start looking ow for a new job, and in the meantime try to bring up future plans once a week or so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In response to 16:08, when her maternity leave is up I guess they will inform me of whether the sister will be continuing the share (as she is a school teacher and is off for the summer). I have tried to talk about that now before that time evens comes and they take me by a total surprise as they just did when MB A cut my hours and pay and it was never discussed. I would like a three child nanny-share, I don't have a problem with that.

Thanks for the advice.

I can't believe they are not telling if you will have a job in 3months time! If I was you I would need to sit them down and say "If the share is not continuing I need to know now so I have time to find a new job!" It sounds like you need a new job though!

I am sorry you are having a tough time with your share - I hope you find a nicer job!

[Anonymous]

You need to look for a new job, OP. It doesn't sound like you're a good fit for the position. I wouldn't worry about the sisters. They aren't likely to stop speaking over a nanny leaving (after all, you said the last nanny left over the same issue. How did you know that, BTW?) so, really, it's just time for you to go.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should just find something new. Cutting hours and pay without discussion and agreement is just wrong. They want to add another child without paying more, again, wrong. If I am understanding this correctly, at the same time the 3rd child would be possibly starting the share, the other MB/child that you like MORE, might not need to be in the share, but they cannot tell you right now IF this would be happening or not.

I would go and find something else instead. Seems like your current share is a mess and not likely to get any better, at least not in the next 3 months or so. You need regular hours that don't change, regular pay that doesn't decrease and should increase with more kids, and you need to know future plans with both sides of the share.

It seems like MB A staying home for maternity leave is just the icing on the cake. You already have other issues that I don't think you are happy with and you shouldn't be trying to get other aspects to work if you will still be unhappy with these others that aren't going to change.

The best plan is to change everything and start over with something new. Find new families (or just one), get the hours you want/need, the pay that you think if fair, and get the feeling of security that you will be able to count on your new position longer than the 3 months you might have in your current share.