Nanny Suspicious Activity

[Anonymous]

Lately our 4-year old son has been complaining to us that his nanny has been bringing him to a house where she cleans which seems to be on days he is not in pre-school. His details about the inside of house and what he does in the house, which is just sit around and play Angry Bird on her phone while she cleans, is so crystal clear that I have no doubts he is making it up. Anyway, we have no actual proof that she is cleaning someone else's house on our time except for my son's word. I know if I ask her, she most likely will deny it. But now this has raised my doubts about her and my level of trust with how she cares for my child. My husband thinks we should follow her on the days we think she is going to clean esp since she is telling us she is going to a specific house for a play date and if she is not the house, then that's the proof. But if we have to do that, I think that is already an indicator of trust issues we have on her anyway. I am so ready to fire her, but do we really need the proof? If she is doing what my son's says she is doing, then I would fire her on the spot and not pay any severance.

[Anonymous]

You should fire her. If she is doing what you suspect, then she deserves it. If she is not doing what you suspect, she deserves a boss that will trust her and not doubt her every move. Either way there is no trust and you both cannot work together successfully going forward.

[Anonymous]

Sad to say she's been with us for 6 years taking care of my 7 and 4-yr old.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you want to consider having some compassion in this situation? Perhaps she has a new expense that's come up and she needs extra money. So instead of firing, possibly what she needs is a raise, and then she won't need to clean. I mean, nobody cleans because it's fun.

If you want to fire her, fire her. You don't need a reason. But, she's not harming your son - he's just bored. I'm sure she loves him if she's been with your family since before he was born.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, people. You NEVER "wait" until you have proof. Are you nuts? It's your child here, not your puppy or your diamonds.
Fire her immediately.
You don't need to say why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you want to consider having some compassion in this situation? Perhaps she has a new expense that's come up and she needs extra money. So instead of firing, possibly what she needs is a raise, and then she won't need to clean. I mean, nobody cleans because it's fun.

This woman is _stealing_ from the OP, by accepting money for childcare and then using the same hours to work at another job. She is _lieing_ to the OP. In what world does she deserve a raise?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should offer her a raise, but I do think if she's been with you 6 years (!!!) you owe her a conversation at least. Have you scheduled a time to sit down and ask her about this? Tell her what your son told you (she'll be able to tell from your demeanor that you believe him) and ask her if she could please explain what's been going on.

You should do this very soon, of course, but it doesn't sound like anything she's doing is dangerous and she's been with your family so long I have a hard time understanding how you could fire her without even talking to her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you want to consider having some compassion in this situation? Perhaps she has a new expense that's come up and she needs extra money. So instead of firing, possibly what she needs is a raise, and then she won't need to clean. I mean, nobody cleans because it's fun.

This woman is _stealing_ from the OP, by accepting money for childcare and then using the same hours to work at another job. She is _lieing_ to the OP. In what world does she deserve a raise?

Agree. Really, the nanny is lying to the OP and taking charge to an unfamiliar home making money and essentially double dipping without permission and in effect OP should give a raise??? Hey, I'm a nanny too, but I'll say it again - some of the responses I see on here by presumed nannies are so entitled it's hilarious.

[Anonymous]

The poster who thinks the OP should give the nanny raise to stop taking her child along on cleaning jobs deserves the most insane post on the nanny forum this week. This is hard to achieve because there are some pretty bad posts.

OP, I would fire her immediately and tell her why. Your four year old isn't lying because these are not plausible details that a 4 year old could make up. (Unless he is precocious and has been reading old dcurbanmom posts about nannies doing this sort of thing.)

You can never trust her again so what could she possibly say to convince you that she will stop doing this? The fact that you have had her for 6 years makes it more shocking to you but not less likely that it is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poster who thinks the OP should give the nanny raise to stop taking her child along on cleaning jobs deserves the most insane post on the nanny forum this week. This is hard to achieve because there are some pretty bad posts.

OP, I would fire her immediately and tell her why. Your four year old isn't lying because these are not plausible details that a 4 year old could make up. (Unless he is precocious and has been reading old dcurbanmom posts about nannies doing this sort of thing.)

You can never trust her again so what could she possibly say to convince you that she will stop doing this? The fact that you have had her for 6 years makes it more shocking to you but not less likely that it is happening.

I'm the PP who said OP should talk to her.

I don't think there's anything she'd be able to say to regain the parents trust, but I think she deserves the courtesy of a formal meeting.

OP, sit her down and ask her. When she's done explaining, you can fire her immediately... I just think it's cold not to TALK to her at all.

[Anonymous]

I think that is the hard part for us. She was like family and we entrusted her with our children. Oh and BTW I have another baby on the way in July. So to have now have trust issues with her is devastating for us because how can I trust her with our newborn.

I have confirmed with the nanny with whom she had a play date with yesterday that it occurred at 12:30 PM and not at 9:30 AM, like our nanny led us to believe, which means she lied to us. Her job is to CARE for our son and NOT CLEAN a stranger's house. God knows what else she does behind our backs with our kids. She can clean someone else's house on her OWN time and not MY time!

[Anonymous]

OP so sorry this is happening to you. You don't seem to be the only one. There was poster on this board who caught her nanny taking the kids with her while she was doing another job providing eldercare. There have been other nannies on the board bragging about how they don't do housework at their job but take their charges back to their own homes to get their laundry done.

For your next hire, you should tell the candidates that you may install a nanny cam. This can weed out some of the types who pull this stuff.

[Anonymous]

I would install a nanny cam but since my husband and I work from home I know that is not necessary for the next one. I just entrust the stories my children tell me on how they spend their day with the nanny. Thank you all for some sound advice and one particularly not so sound advice. We will be talking with her today, but she will also be fired.

[Anonymous]

I bet your son is right and she is taking him to a strangers house to clean. I would either confront her, fire her, or if you really need proof, just ask a private investigator to put a GPS on her car for a week - that alone shouldn't cost more than $500 and it might be cheaper than buying one yourself or switching nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet your son is right and she is taking him to a strangers house to clean. I would either confront her, fire her, or if you really need proof, just ask a private investigator to put a GPS on her car for a week - that alone shouldn't cost more than $500 and it might be cheaper than buying one yourself or switching nannies.

Im pretty sure that illegal to put a GPS on someone else's car. It's almost stalking. If she was using their car then that's fine. Honestly, I bet she's going to her own house to clean. Ppl don't hire a made for two hours. If she left at 9:30 and had a play date at 12:30 there is no way she could properly clean. I'd say follow her then knock on the door and fire her on the spot if she is doing that.

I personally am a nanny with no household chores but ill take charges to my apt to clean up but I have permission. My employers are very kind.