OMG you have balls. Its nice that your employers allow this but geez, how can you respect yourself? You have no household chores but you drag your charge along to clean your own house while you are being paid??? If the parents told you that you could smoke pot and sit around naked watching porn make would you do this too? |
Haha, she should be rewarded with a raise? Gosh what awful advice.. Many people live beyond their means but what the nanny is doing is ignoring OP's child as she makes double the money by cleaning someone elses house. OP, fire her! |
That's not stalking. Look up the definition of stalking. People DO hire 'maids' / 'housekeepers' for two or three hours a day. OP, she's definitely taking you for a ride and has become to comfortable with her position. I'd get rid of her and get a respectful nanny who will give your kids the care and attention they deserve. |
No, it's not stalking, but it is an invasion of privacy and leaves you open to lawsuits (unless, as PP said, the owner of the car is the one who installs it). |
OP, how did the firing go?
Is it done? |
What a sad story if true. And no, I don't believe the nanny should get a raise. It just sounds like the nanny really needed money to the extent that she made a really bad decision, violated any trust her employers had in her and now after six years, she's going to be in a hell of a mess. Just sad. |
Well parents...since I got solid confirmation with the play date nanny that my nanny had the play date after 12:30 and not at 9:30, which is what my nanny told me to my face when my son and her were leaving the house that previous morning. We confronted our nanny asking where she was during 9:30-12:30 the previous morning and she admitted to just going to visit a "friend" who happened to be hired to clean a house who happened to be within the vicinity of our house and my nanny decided to help her "friend" clean. However, I recalled my son telling me the night before that it was just him and his nanny at this house and no one else. So although she admitted to cleaning a stranger's house to just help her imaginary "friend", she was still lying to us. She also admitted that the nanny she had a play date with had texted my nanny 7AM that morning informing her I was trying to find out what time their play date was. So I felt that since my nanny had fair warning something was up, she had plenty of time to concoct a story. We didn't confront her till the afternoon since I wanted to wait till my son was taking his nap. Because she completely LIED to us as to where she went the prior morning with my son, then admitted to doing something she shouldn't have been doing with our son, and continued to lie to us as she was telling her side of the story, all our TRUST for her went completely out the window, so she was FIRED! She asked for a second chance, but since we no longer felt like we could trust her and have no idea how long this has been going on there was no second chance offered. BTW, I reconfirmed with my son later on if there was another woman "friend" in the cleaning house and he said no.
This was not a very easy decision because she was part of our family for 6 years and helped raise my 7 and 4 yr old boys and we were looking forward to continuing this relationship with our new baby. I was extremely disappointed and heart broken she could do this to us and to our son. My 7 yr old was devastated when he found out that we had to let her go. Bottom line as a parent, we must do what is best for our children and trust our gut instinct. We must always expect that who ever cares for our children also has their best intentions at heart as well and never settle for any less. I was fortunate that whatever strange place this nanny brought our son to no harm came upon him, but you never know and I was not willing to take that chance with our son for her sake. For you nannies, who think it is OK to bring our children to unfamiliar places and do additional jobs to earn more money, SHAME ON YOU! Your job as a caregiver is to CARE FOR OUR CHILDREN by playing with them, bringing them to their activities, nurturing them, and caring for them - not to put our children on the sidelines to take care of your own business. We entrust in you our heart and souls. You are welcome to do additional jobs, but on your OWN time. If our former nanny needed to make more money, she had approached it all wrong - she could have asked us for more hours to make more money or she could have looked for another job with another family who could pay her more and let us know and we would have given her a stellar reference. We were also planning to give her a pay increase once she got full charge of our newborn. Due to her own bad decisions and actions, we can no longer offer such a good reference of her to another family. |
OP, How did you initially find this nanny?
I am sorry about how she violated your trust. You did the only right thing by letting her go. I can imagine how devastating this is. |
OP, your long-winded rant is making me question the veracity of your story (did ANYONE here post saying it was okay to take charges to second jobs?? why the whole "SHAME ON YOU" bit?), but if it is true then you did the right thing. I hope you can find a new childcare arrangement quickly and feel confident in whoever you hire/whatever daycare you choose. |
I also acknowledge the nanny was very wrong. I do feel saddened that she was so desperate for the extra money that she felt the need to do something like this. I pray that your nanny does not have children to feed. I understand your anger in feeling lied to, but I do have to wonder at the lack of concern for someone who by your own admission was a great nanny, helped raise your child for 6 years, and had become a part of your family. |
OP- I am a nanny and I think you did the right thing. But I would hope you don't think this is some common thing nannies do. I would never consider that so the SHAME ON YOU was a little uncalled for. The issue is with this one nanny. Not everyone.
FWIW, I am sorry that this happened. Having your trust violated like that is awful and I know you're left to pick up the pieces with the kiddos who were undoubtedly bonded with the nanny. I am sorry. Congratulations on your new baby and best of luck finding a nanny the is good and trustworthy. We are out there and you sound like good employers. |
OP, you did the right thing for your family. I hope you find a great new nanny. |
I am a nanny and I would never dream of doing something like that..she must have been in a desperate situation where she needed the money or maybe she just didn't think that she would get caught.
I work from 7-6 every day and very rarely have ran a personal errand like buying toothpaste or something. Work is work. I am getting paid to provide the best possible care...I don't know what is wrong with some people. Also I don't understand why she didn't talk to you if she needed more hours |
|
Get over yourself. My relationship with my employers is very different from others. They respect my judgement and know I'm taking anything away from the children. When I say clean, I mean switch laundry, let my dog out and wipe counters. It takes 15-30mins max and the children love my dog so they just play with her. My employers encourage me to bring the kids to my house, hell they told me I could leave a pack n play so they could nap there. I don't, but it's a nice option for the random week when I'm overwhelmed with school work. I work 70hrs a week, take a full course load on the weekends and volunteer at a children's hospital so having an extra 30mins a week to do my own errands is a perk they give me. Smoking pot is illegal and watching porn can't compare to cleaning your own house. |