No invite, No Gift?
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Anonymous
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I have worked for this family for 9 months. Their baby is turning 1 and is having a birthday party.....a party that I have not been invited too. While this is a first in a pretty long career as a nanny, I'm not surprised as the parents are rather odd.
Am I obligated to buy the baby a present even though I wasn't invited to the party? |
Anonymous
| Please exscuse my typo. |
Anonymous
No. |
Anonymous
| I would still by the baby a gift if it were me just because I love an excuse to buy a gift, but say nothing to the parents about it. My current employers are the type to not invite me to the birthday party, amd didn't even say thank you for their or their child's Christmas gifts. Sorry OP, some people are just clueless. |
Anonymous
Gosh no. You weren't invited to a gift-giving event so you aren't obligated. You most certainly can if you'd like, but no ettiquette handbook would tell you that you must. I invited DC's nanny to his first birthday party, which was a low-key no-gifts open house. She didn't get him a gift for the party (appropriate) or any other time (also just fine). |
Anonymous
| I would still get something, but that's just me. |
Anonymous
| Just give a nice card to the baby. Not inviting the nanny to her charge's birthday party is really rude. |
Anonymous
| do most people invite their nanny's to kids birthday parties? (to work or as a guest?) |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thank you to everyone for your input and advice.
I want to say that in my years as a nanny, I have always bought my charges birthday gifts. I've also always been invited to their parties. The parents of my current charge have never been particularly interested in me as a person. I feel like more of a commodity to them than a nanny. They leave the second I get there and rush me out the door the moment they get home. I don't take it personally. They're odd people. |
Anonymous
Most people invite their nanny as a guest. |
Anonymous
+1 I've always been invited as a guest and have ALWAYS attended. |
Anonymous
| I might get a small gift like a board book and a card with a little note about how you enjoy taking care of him. |
Anonymous
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They probably just do not know. And to give them the benefit if the doubt perhaps they do not think a "work" party is something you would want to come to. I think you still buy a small gift though. You can get a baby book for 10 bucks and check that box. Also mention afterwards that you would have loved to have been there (in a light way).
One other consideration - my first bonded very hard and strong to the nanny. Baby clearly preferred the nanny to me if we were both around. That hurt my feelings at the same time that I was happy with the good bond. But when nanny said she could by come to the 1st bday I was secretly very happy that my family and SAHM friends would not be there to witness baby lunging for nanny and clearly wanting to be held by her over me. Obviously I did not tell nanny and she has since been with us for years and come to all they parties. Just suggesting it is possible that may be an issue especially if you are a really great nanny. |
Anonymous
| Pp here. "Could not come" |
Anonymous
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Not giving a gift is really tacky.
I wasn't invited to DC's first birthday, because it was mostly the parents friends. I've been invited to every party since, and DC is now 7 yrs old. I think it's super weird you don't want to buy a gift. Poor kid. |