Nanny getting too close to neighbor
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Anonymous
| I have a PT nanny who lived out. She is paid on salary so gets FT pay. She does a great job with my child and when it comes to her job, I couldn't be happier. The concern lies in her outings while out with my child. There is a family down the street who have one year old as well. They recently moved in ---3 months ago. Before that my friend lived there who also had a child the same age as DD. I encouraged play dates and my nanny would have them over here and there but usually was out with her nanny friends. Then new family moved in and nanny bumped into them while taking a stroll and introduced herself and DD. They are of course looking to engage their child and encourage play dates as well. The mom works FT and the dad is a SAHM dad. Our schedules collied so I only say hi in passing but my DH and our neighbor have become acquainted and watch football together etc. I've noticed my nanny almost always takes DD to their house for play dates and I think it's become more about her motive then my child's. Anytime they have an activity they neighbor goes with them or they go to his house. Rarely do they come over to ours. I suspect something might be going on. She's spending too much time there and maybe I'm paranoid, but he never comes over not unless he's childless and my DH is here. It's usually her and my child going over there. What became a one a week thing, has now become a 3-4 times a week thing. I only know this much because another neighbor lady, a chatty Kathy brought it up and I came home twice from lunch and in passing saw nanny walking out of his house with DD. Neighbor also mentioned how nanny will take DD's car seat out and put car seat into neighbor's SUV, so that's how I know they go on outings together. Nanny will tell me if they did go on outing, but has become more vague with whom they went with. She does not know I know how she spends most of her outings. Should I say something to nanny? I don't know what neighbors relationship with his wife is, but it is kind of suspicious she is always there now and I would prefer and will let her know, my DD's other friends miss her so she can get the hint she needs to make room for others! |
Anonymous
| Does the nanny have other friends you can invite over? |
Anonymous
| I would do exactly what you mentioned at the end of your post..request she spend more time with DD's other friends. My MB doesn't necessarily tell me who to go on playdates with but if she were to make a request to me that I get together with someone I would honor it, as should your nanny. I admit (as a nanny) that behavior is strange. I guess I would feel weird going on outings with my charge and a Dad. Especially a married one..just doesn't seem right. |
Anonymous
| The same thing happened with my nanny and the neighbor-- and there WAS something going on and it was awful. The difference was that the other mother was a good friend of mine and so I went directly to her. I think that you should maybe say something to either your nanny about scaling back or maybe even find a way to let the other mother know so she can take some action. |
Anonymous
| I'd feel awful about keeping on such a person as this nanny. Can you find anyone with better judgement? |
Anonymous
| She shouldn't be vague qith you about where and who she is going out with when it with your daughter. |
Anonymous
| What a whore fire her!!! |
Anonymous
Wow what a disgrace! Did you fire her? Also was she ever sorry or are they together after screwing over their families ? |
Anonymous
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Another disfunctional situation all around.
OP, please fix this and get your child some responsible care. |
Anonymous
This. She should tell you every day where she and DD went and who they were with and given your concerns, you should ask. How old is your DD? |
Anonymous
| Wow. What a sneaky nanny! Fire her. |
Anonymous
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I'd give her a warning of possible termination for putting your child in someone else's car with a driver you have not approved of without asking permission. That alone is a huge violation of trust and liability. I would not trust her judgement after that. As a nanny I would never remove an installed carseat and place it a car where I am not the driver without permission. If we were in an accident that would be a huge liability. You absolutely have the right to know details about outings and who your child is around. I'd be very frank with her and tell her you expect her to vary activities, keep a log and check in if plans change. Those are not unreasonable requests. I'd even go as far in requesting she host playdates at your home rather then go to other people's houses until winter is over as an excuse.
Everything could be innocent but the shadiness and essentially lying is cause for concern. |
Anonymous
| Isn't she fired already?? |
Anonymous
I agree. If I were the MB I would ask for a more detailed log on a day-to-day basis. You should know what your child is doing and who they are doing it with. I would also ask if she could try to give your child a little more variety in their play dates and try to spend time with their other friends as well. I would also remind her that the only person who you have given permission to drive your child around is her, not the neighbor. |
Anonymous
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What a bunch of busy-bodies. You want this nanny fired for being a whore and the only reason is that she is doing most of her play dates with one other father/child. Could be totally innocent. Do you know what friends are? Get your gossipy minds back on your own business.
But, nothing wrong with asking the nanny to make sure her charge is playing with a wider circle of friends. |