How to cope with WAHM
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Anonymous
| I have been a nanny for a great family for 2 years now and in the beginning everything was great the kids were 2 months and 2 years when I started. But a year ago the mom changed jobs and now works from home. Its been a full year now and it still is difficult. How do other nannies deal with this. The mom does not close her office door unless in a rare meeting and is constantly coming out and interfering. Everytime the kids and I are playing and having fun she comes out witch sends both kids into meltdowns and wanting her, or when I do crafts I can't get the kids down and clean up because they run into her office so when I caring for them I'm getting in trouble for the crafts not being put away or she gets upset that she sees the crafts are still iut when I'm in the middle of bathing the kids who are covered in paint. Or when the kids are I trouble the immedeatly go running to the mom and she sits there coddling them knowing they are in trouble. When I say no they run to her since she says yes. Mealtime is always a struggle it seams everytime I sit tgem down they happily start eating then she comes out and they start crying refuse to eat and they scresm and beg for her to hold them which she does! It just gets so frustrating I feel like I can never enjoy my time with the kids. However the rare times shes not home or in a meeting we have a blast. I spend most mornings out of the house at the park or playdates and everything does great but I can tell that shes upset were not home all day. Any ideas on how I can help the situation? |
Anonymous
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Never a good situation.
Be honest with her. "When you're home and their is a behavior issue, X doesn't take me seriously". "When the kids know you're home, they act up". Etc Start looking for a new job. |
Anonymous
| Never work for a WAHM/SAHM. It sucks so much. Talk to her and express your frustrations. |
Anonymous
| Quit. She doesn't really need you. |
Anonymous
| What other PPs said-start looking for a new job immediately. In the meantime, you could try having a talk with her; she may truly be unaware of the problems she is causing. However, she may be resistant to your suggestions, so again, get that job search going full speed ASAP! |
Anonymous
| You don't put up with that shit! My employers often ''work'' at home and they were interfering in the beginning. Now, they've stopped doing it, but if it had continued I would have quit. |
Anonymous
| I have worked successfully with several SAH or WAH parents. The key is not what YOU do. The key is that THEY have to be reasonable in their expectations. This mom is not, and the problem extends to several different behaviors on her part, and the habits have been engrained over the course of a year. You will not be able to fix this. Please find a new job. |
Anonymous
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I am a WAHM. Your MB needs to take a firm stance that you are in charge and they cannot come ask her to overrule you. It took my kids two days to figure it out with me constantly repeating it. Nanny's in charge while I am working. If she already said no then do not even ask. I turn them around and walk them right out of the room. I admit that if they got hurt I will give them comfort but I won't let them play us.
The questions about messes not being cleaned are just obnoxious. Unless its the end of the day and you are leaving it there. I don't even know what to say about that one. My approach with WAH is to treat my nanny as a complete equal, not an employee, in order to let my kids see her as an authority. If I need to be the employer, that is done outside of her caregiving hours, just like it would if I WOH (before and after work). |
Anonymous
This is a great attitude to have, but OP's employer obviously doesn't view it the same way. Some WAHMs, like you hire a nanny to provide excellent care for their kids. Others just want a warm body to supervise them, which it seems is this MB's preference. There's not much OP can do to explain it to her MB if a year of working at home doesn't seem to do it. |
Anonymous
| MB is on maternity leave right now. It sucks. Wish I had some suggestions!! Personally I'm crossing x's off on the calendar until she goes back to work. |
Anonymous
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This is so weird to me. I have a nanny so that I don't have to be in charge all day, but I work from home so that I can pop in and see them from time to time. I would be totally embarrassed if my kids acted like that when I came around, and we would do what we needed to do to prevent it.
Mine are 1 and 3, and honestly they prefer playing with her when she's here. I sit with them for lunch all the time, and nothing bad happens. Sounds like this MB is causing these problems ... |
Anonymous
| MB here - talk to her first. Sometimes parents get in bad habits with their kids and it's helpful to have an outside perspective. Let her know the effect of her disruptions and that you always clean up at the end of the day, so she doesn't have to worry. I realize we mamas can be a pain, but we're human too and sometimes clueless so I say give the benefit of the doubt first and try to communicate. It's so frustrating on DCUM when the answer to everything is quit, your MB is a b* or on the flip side, your nanny is incompetent, fire her. In any good long term relationship there will be ups and downs. The best we can all do for each other is try to help each other learn to be a better team for the kids. Ultimately I would think that's what everyone wants. I do feel for you OP, everyone should have a good working environment. It sounds like the original situation has changed and it's time for a renegotiation of expectations, etc. Good luck to you! |
Anonymous
X10001001010 |
Anonymous
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Start looking for another job. It will not get easier!!!
OK!! |
Anonymous
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YUCK!!!! I used to work for an MB AND DB who worked from home, and it was honestly awful. And that was even when I got along with them as people, my husband and I would go out to dinner with them, we could chat amicably, etc. Unless you see the situation changing in the near future, your feelings about her WAH will NOT change. Only get worse.
I had to quit my last job. I was SO sad b/c I loved those kids, but I now have the best job ever and bosses who trust me completely, so it turned out to be a great decision. All I can say is good luck. You brought back so many bad memories for me with your OP b/c that was exactly how my old situation was! Again I will say: YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! |