Limit screen time - mixed messages

[Anonymous]

So I am to limit my charges' screen time to one hour per day, whether that be cartoon or video games. And I agree with this. However, these kids have SOOOOO many damn cartoons piled up in their DVR, a TON of DVD's, and a TON of video games. Then as if their Wii Gaming system wasn't enough, for Christmas they get a SECOND TV in their playroom for their brand new X-BOX! So each gaming system has its own TV...they are side by side in the play room. This makes like 7 TV's in their house total! I keep them busy the best I can (especially now while they are out of school on break), but it is difficult to keep them away from screen time (while it's freezing out and we are very limited on what outings we can take) when their entire house is one entertainment mecca of kids screen time stuff. Of course they have told me they let them do a lot more screen time on weekends when I'm not here (of course! why have to actually engage your own kids?!). Grrrr! Why such a double standard and mixed message. As I said, I agree with the limits, but don't make every corner a screen time fun place in your house if you have limits on how much screen time they have.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's hypocritical, but the parents are paying you to follow their wishes and if that means the kids have a bunch of screen time with the parents and not with you, so be it.

I have worked with plenty of families who had limited screen time/no screen time during the week when I was working, but were allowed countless hours during the weekend. It is what it is, and i understand as during the week there is school/activities/etc.

[Anonymous]

Well, I totally agree with you that it would be difficult to control screen time when there is a screen in every room (we don't have a single TV ourselves, so I understand). But don't begrudge the parents extra screen time on the weekends. Remember that working parents essentially do your job when there not doing their actual job. So all that downtime you get in the weekends and evenings to relax, do your laundry, cook dinner, do the shopping and errands? Parents don't get that. If working parents want to out their kid in front of the TV for an hour on a Saturday so they can have an hour to read the paper, which is probably the only hour of real downtime they get all week, it's not comparable to a nanny, who has the kids for the daytime and is being paid to engage them and then gets to go home and have time to herself all evening (assuming he doesn't have kids herself!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I totally agree with you that it would be difficult to control screen time when there is a screen in every room (we don't have a single TV ourselves, so I understand). But don't begrudge the parents extra screen time on the weekends. Remember that working parents essentially do your job when there not doing their actual job. So all that downtime you get in the weekends and evenings to relax, do your laundry, cook dinner, do the shopping and errands? Parents don't get that. If working parents want to out their kid in front of the TV for an hour on a Saturday so they can have an hour to read the paper, which is probably the only hour of real downtime they get all week, it's not comparable to a nanny, who has the kids for the daytime and is being paid to engage them and then gets to go home and have time to herself all evening (assuming he doesn't have kids herself!).

+1 Perfectly stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I totally agree with you that it would be difficult to control screen time when there is a screen in every room (we don't have a single TV ourselves, so I understand). But don't begrudge the parents extra screen time on the weekends. Remember that working parents essentially do your job when there not doing their actual job. So all that downtime you get in the weekends and evenings to relax, do your laundry, cook dinner, do the shopping and errands? Parents don't get that. If working parents want to out their kid in front of the TV for an hour on a Saturday so they can have an hour to read the paper, which is probably the only hour of real downtime they get all week, it's not comparable to a nanny, who has the kids for the daytime and is being paid to engage them and then gets to go home and have time to herself all evening (assuming he doesn't have kids herself!).

I do have my own kids and so no, I do not get that luxury. I have no problem with them having their own downtime, but the kids even told me they get it all day a lot of weekends cause their parents want to do their own thing. So fine, if that is how they want to parent, so be it. But it is the hypocritical message they are sending that bugs me. Do they really need a huge TV in EVERY room?!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP. I am a working mom and an MB and people like this piss me off. Why even have kids if you don't want to spend any time with them? That is the sacrifice you make in choosing to have a family. If you want your free time when not working, then get fixed and don't reproduce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I totally agree with you that it would be difficult to control screen time when there is a screen in every room (we don't have a single TV ourselves, so I understand). But don't begrudge the parents extra screen time on the weekends. Remember that working parents essentially do your job when there not doing their actual job. So all that downtime you get in the weekends and evenings to relax, do your laundry, cook dinner, do the shopping and errands? Parents don't get that. If working parents want to out their kid in front of the TV for an hour on a Saturday so they can have an hour to read the paper, which is probably the only hour of real downtime they get all week, it's not comparable to a nanny, who has the kids for the daytime and is being paid to engage them and then gets to go home and have time to herself all evening (assuming he doesn't have kids herself!).

I do have my own kids and so no, I do not get that luxury. I have no problem with them having their own downtime, but the kids even told me they get it all day a lot of weekends cause their parents want to do their own thing. So fine, if that is how they want to parent, so be it. But it is the hypocritical message they are sending that bugs me. Do they really need a huge TV in EVERY room?!

Hey, I said I agree with the message about a TV in every room. But if you have your own kids, then you understand I hope why you might have more lax rules on the weekend with your own kids than with someone you are paying to engage your kids during the daytime hours. And most jobs (all jobs?) aren't going to allow you to be watching TV on the job, so it's not like its unfair.

Like I said, we don't even own a TV. I agree that it seems like some parents rely on it way too much. But I think you lose your argument when you argue that if the parents let their kids watch TV all weekend, that its hypocritical that they won't pay someone to plop their kids in front of the TV all week too.

[Anonymous]

I never said I should be able to plop them in front of it all day, nor do I want to. And I actually ENGAGE my own kids on my off time. I don't plop them in front of the TV either. I get my downtime after they go to bed and that is how it should be. I just hate that their entire house is TV after TV after TV and I am expected to keep it off limits most of the time. It just makes it harder. It seems unnecessary if you want to limit screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never said I should be able to plop them in front of it all day, nor do I want to. And I actually ENGAGE my own kids on my off time. I don't plop them in front of the TV either. I get my downtime after they go to bed and that is how it should be. I just hate that their entire house is TV after TV after TV and I am expected to keep it off limits most of the time. It just makes it harder. It seems unnecessary if you want to limit screen time.

And I agree with this totally. Just don't make it about the amount of screen time you're allowed to use versus the parents. That is totally irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never said I should be able to plop them in front of it all day, nor do I want to. And I actually ENGAGE my own kids on my off time. I don't plop them in front of the TV either. I get my downtime after they go to bed and that is how it should be. I just hate that their entire house is TV after TV after TV and I am expected to keep it off limits most of the time. It just makes it harder. It seems unnecessary if you want to limit screen time.

And I agree with this totally. Just don't make it about the amount of screen time you're allowed to use versus the parents. That is totally irrelevant.

Not really. It also sends mixed messages to the OP's charges. What kind of parents are these anyway?! Sounds like shitty ones at best.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the nanny here. It's not the amount of screen time, it's that there's no place in the house to go where they could do other things and not be reminded of all the screen-time things they could be doing.

OP -- do you have the kind of relationship with the parents where you could bring this up? Maybe they could buy a piece of furniture for the playroom that the tv/game systems coud go in that could be closed so at least it isn't staring them in the face.

They (the parents) may not really get how hard this is for their kids with all of this temptation lying around all the time!

[Anonymous]

It's something I could suggest, but when I say things off hand about how much they have to keep them in a lot of screen time and always ask for more, they ignore it.

[Anonymous]

We have a no TV rule during the week including evenings and morning. We have large TVs in the family room where they play and gaming systems. The TIVO grabs a zillion programs including kid's shows that we never get around to watching. Its not a problem as long as you are consistent. Your best bet if they are allowed 1 hour a day is to make it at the same time everyday. The end of the day would probably work better. If you are in the DC area it is NOT freezing outside.

[Anonymous]

I'm not in the DC area and where I am, yes it is freezing outside.

[Anonymous]

Talk to parents ASAP