Limit screen time - mixed messages
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Anonymous
You say this thinking that all nannies do not have their own families and children... There are quite a few that DO and they actually interact with their kids on the weekends. They also work all week long (usually longer hours than the parents you are talking about) and might have much more physical jobs than a parent that works in an office building. Just because you work all week, doesn't mean that you can't be involved with your kids on the weekends. Some tv/screen time is fine, but to use the excuse that they had to work all week is just weak. They could easily promote other activities that the kids don't even need the parents for, or help with crafts etc that don't involve them running around so they can sit and relax while doing something with the kids. I didn't really "play" much at all with my parents, but there were always many things to do and tv or computer time was only a small percent of my day. |
Anonymous
I don't think that is the part OP was saying was hypocritical... I understand not wanting to pay someone to put a tv on for your kids, but when the parents act like they don't want their kids to have much or any screen time, saying that they don't need it, they would rather have them get some fresh air and exercise (everything that I agree with), that tv rots their brains etc, BUT then go BACK against what they say they believe in and do the reverse on the weekends because it is EASIER on them, that is messed up. If you are going to say how much you are against something and don't want your kids having it due to x, y, and z but then let your kids for 8-10 hours, watch tv and play video games, then you are being a hypocrite. The ones that just don't want you to entertain with screen time since they are paying you to make sure they get all the good stuff done during the week so the parents can let the kids veg out on the weekends are fine. I usually know these ones during the interview, the parents are TV fans as well and don't try to hide what they do allow for the kids (and themselves) on the weekends and that is their choice to make. |
Anonymous
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OP - what in the world would they be paying you for if you are just there to make sure they are alive and supplied w/ food while they watch TV or play video games? I suppose someone still needs to do that, but certainly not a skilled nanny. DH and I do have a number of kids shows' on the DVR - DD watches 1 hr a day (while we get dressed in the morning and then at night before bed) weekdays and about 2 hrs on weekends. yes, I think the time on weekends is kind of too much - i'm not proud - but it is just too much to come off the work week and be up at 6 bright and early and ready to engage w/ the kiddos. If you are a nanny w/ your own kids, you get to decide what happens with their screen time on the days of the week YOU do not work and you are trying to squeeze in a small bit of relaxing.
I would say the outing issue is the problem. Make a list of some suggested spots (know the pricing and hours) and ask MB which are OK for times when there is no school for an extended period. Or ask if it would be OK for the kids to invite over a friend for a couple hours (yes, it's extra kids in the house but since it sounds like they are school age, I think it would be LESS work for you since the kids would then play together so long as each has a friend). |
Anonymous
Obviously you missed the part where I said "unless the nanny has her own kids." But then, even if she as her own kids." And the part where I said I get the nanny's irritation as we're our no-TV house ourselves. But thanks. |
Anonymous
You might need to be a bit more direct. This is annoying for you, but also kind of torture for the children. If the machines were shut up for most of the day, they might not be as bothered by them ... |
Anonymous
Apparently YOU missed the part where I said I had no desire or intention to just plop them in front of TV all the time or the fact that we don't have much in the way of options for outings right now due to the awful weather where we are. It is the fact that the message to their kids is very hypocritical and makes it hard to enforce when I am here. Read next time before responding. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Another thing I'd like to add is that I am starting to think their kids are just an inconvenience to them. It seems no matter when I get there in the morning, on time or early, the mom rushes out there door like she can't wait to leave. Also, when she comes home, she goes into her room immediately and shuts the door. She doesn't even seem to want to know about the kids' day at all. It's very awkward. It would not surprise me at all if they never interact with their kids on the weekends based on what I have witnessed and I am thinking the entertainment mecca they are building is their way of keep them at a distance. Exactly the type of parent I never want to be. |
Anonymous
| Maybe ask if they can have a little extra screen time during break so you guys can all play an active game on the Wii or whatever. I totally agree with limited week day/school day screen time, but sometimes video games can be a fun activity for everyone! |
Anonymous
That's a great idea. The Dance Dance Revolution would be some great exercise for indoors since we can't go outside right now. |
Anonymous
| whatever happened to reading a book as entertainment? I'm sorry but if they can play video games then they can read. I grew up in a house with the tv on 24/7 but my mother set a great example with reading. i would get lost in books for hours even at a young age. Take your kids to the library and develop some early literacy or buy them art supplies and tell them to get creative. Parents can have downtime while teaching their children how to entertain themselves in constructive ways. Start young and set clear expectations then you won't have brats driving you nuts or becoming zombies in front of a television. |
Anonymous
OP here and I totally agree with this. They do have books and art supplies that we use as well. But the issue there is the younger one is not at all into art while the older one is. And they always both want me to be with them at all times, probably because their parents ignore them. I guess I just need to be firm and not give them expectations that I can do everything with them both at all times. The book reading works temporarily, but a preschooler only has a short attention span and the 7-year-old will do it for a short time, but he gets so restless. |
Anonymous
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Do they have a backyard they can play in? It is never too cold to go outside and play in the yard unless it is starting to get around 0 degrees F. Bundle them up in winter jackets, hats, scarves and gloves and let them loose into the backyard.
My parents had a rule while I was growing up that we would spend quite a bit of time OUTSIDE to play. Didn't matter if it was cold out or even snowing. We had snowsuits and would PLAY in the snow. What a concept. We could play indoors too, but we liked spending at least some time outside. We also had rules of playing outside with some of our friends that were neighbors, so not to bother other families in their houses, especially going back and forth to different people's homes. We would play outside unless it was raining, then we would have a rec room in the basement usually to play in. Some families wouldn't mind if the kids played inside for hours, but generally we would get together and all play outside. These days it is hard to get a kid to go out to play for more than 20 minutes. Let them go run around outside to get the older kids energy out and some fresh air, then you can go back inside for a while longer without him being so restless. It got cold where I lived (think northern Michigan), but as long as you bundle them up then they will be fine. |
Anonymous
| It has been unusually cold here like single digits lately, but it finally got a little warmer today, so I sent the older one over to play outside with the neighbor kids since he can't sit still. The other one is napping. Nice to have a little quiet time in the house. They had been playing inside the past couple days at each house but it was getting far too loud, so I had to cut that short. |
Anonymous
| OP believe it or not, most children would rather do a fun activity then watch tv. Are you sure this isn't annoying you more then the kids? Your getting paid to engage. Who cares about the hypocritical message it sends. Do you job and do it good. Get your paycheck and make memories with the kids. It's those memories that they'll remember. |
Anonymous
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I don't have a limited screen time with kids but I limit it to one episode per day of whatever is on. Then we do homework, crafts, games, puzzles, play, make-beleive, whatever.
I don't like letting my charges zone out in front of the T.V like it's some kind of a drug. 1 hour of T.V per day is more than enough. |