I HATE MY JOB due to Covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so tired of being around micromanaging parents all day. I work for two families who are both at home in small CONDOS. They refuse to find a workspace outside the home, so they work in the living room/kitchen combo where I also have to play with the kids (unless we can hole up in one of their tiny bedrooms all day). That means there are THREE ADULTS and two crawling infants in a 900-1100sq ft apartment all day. Some days I sit on the floor while the kids are napping because there is no where else to sit when everyone is working. The parents take calls and meetings all day, so I have to hear everything and do my best to keep the kids quiet all day. As a result, they’re the most spoiled and over-held babies I’ve ever worked with. It’s really a shame because I’ve been doing this for 10 years and love my job. Now, every morning I cry as I walk out the door to head to this hell hole.

I have no freedom to discipline the children (I use reinforcement discipline), and whenever any of them cry their parents rush over to them or into the bedroom we’re stuck in to pick them up. This is TERRIBLE for their emotional development. They’ve never learned to self soothe and are both terrible ballers due to their parents backwards ways and thoughts on naps. Usually I would be able to correct these bad habits and then provide feedback to the parents on why my methods are most beneficial, but now I can’t do that because they are always around and seem dead set on their backwards thoughts. Tried discussing an alternate method with one of the dads once, and he shot me down (even though I have corrected sleeping issues before) so I left it alone. We spend at least 6 hours of my 9 hour shift outside wandering around aimlessly because there is nothing to do and no activities due to Covid. I just have to stay out of the house for my own stability. Even if it’s hot, we go sit outside.

I’m SO emotionally battered and I feel bad because I am a great nanny with solid references and have always excelled at my job. These parents are happy with me and praise me often, but I am MISERABLE.

Does anyone else feel this way? How have you gotten out of this funk? I think about quitting every day.

Seriously, you need a new job in a different profession. You don't just let babies cry. Your job is to nurture and comfort them. And, this is their home and they are working from home. You are inappropriate to tell them they need to work elsewhere especially with the virus. Please quit. These kids deserve better care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you finding jobs with parents that work outside of the home during these times? I also make over $65,000 so that is a concern as well as I think about looking for other employment.

You find parents with bigger houses, OP. My employers are both home now too but I never see them! We have a playroom, bedrooms, family room, huge yard, pool and swing set outside.

I’m at around $65k too before bonus and healthcare insurance for two brothers (2.5 and 6 months).

I promise you that you can find much better than what you’re suffering!!

You realize how much a bigger home would cost. Can you afford a bigger home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

You can absolutely reinforce negative coping mechanisms and teach babies habits that are incompatible with healthy sleep, resulting in overtired, emotionally sensitive, clingy, grouchy, SPOILED babies! She said they are crawling so these are not newborns who can be held all day. They should be able to be put down but if the parents pick them up the second they fuss about anything, they will whine and cry ALL day because lack of emotional resilience is rewarded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you finding jobs with parents that work outside of the home during these times? I also make over $65,000 so that is a concern as well as I think about looking for other employment.

You find parents with bigger houses, OP. My employers are both home now too but I never see them! We have a playroom, bedrooms, family room, huge yard, pool and swing set outside.

I’m at around $65k too before bonus and healthcare insurance for two brothers (2.5 and 6 months).

I promise you that you can find much better than what you’re suffering!!

You realize how much a bigger home would cost. Can you afford a bigger home?

THe PP is talking about employers with a bigger home when looking for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Quit if you want. But I think you’ll problems finding a new job. Do you think some wealthy family is going to be impressed you quit your last job because the parents were working from home, the house was too small, and you were upset the parents were picking up crying babies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit if you want. But I think you’ll problems finding a new job. Do you think some wealthy family is going to be impressed you quit your last job because the parents were working from home, the house was too small, and you were upset the parents were picking up crying babies?

If she has years of experience and positive references, she can find a new job without even using them as a reference. She can say she is leaving them because “our discipline style wasn’t a good fit.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

You can absolutely reinforce negative coping mechanisms and teach babies habits that are incompatible with healthy sleep, resulting in overtired, emotionally sensitive, clingy, grouchy, SPOILED babies! She said they are crawling so these are not newborns who can be held all day. They should be able to be put down but if the parents pick them up the second they fuss about anything, they will whine and cry ALL day because lack of emotional resilience is rewarded.

No, you can't spoil a baby and its neglectful to ignore them. You are paid to provide full time care and that is your only responsibility. My kids didn't whine, cry or fuss all day from being held and attended to and if the ones you work with do, maybe it is your neglect all day that the parents then have to make up for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quit if you want. But I think you’ll problems finding a new job. Do you think some wealthy family is going to be impressed you quit your last job because the parents were working from home, the house was too small, and you were upset the parents were picking up crying babies?

If she has years of experience and positive references, she can find a new job without even using them as a reference. She can say she is leaving them because “our discipline style wasn’t a good fit.”

OP should not be disciplining infants.

[Anonymous]

OP just get another job. Everybody else drop it. Case closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

You can absolutely reinforce negative coping mechanisms and teach babies habits that are incompatible with healthy sleep, resulting in overtired, emotionally sensitive, clingy, grouchy, SPOILED babies! She said they are crawling so these are not newborns who can be held all day. They should be able to be put down but if the parents pick them up the second they fuss about anything, they will whine and cry ALL day because lack of emotional resilience is rewarded.

No, you can't spoil a baby and its neglectful to ignore them. You are paid to provide full time care and that is your only responsibility. My kids didn't whine, cry or fuss all day from being held and attended to and if the ones you work with do, maybe it is your neglect all day that the parents then have to make up for.

I find it hard to believe you are a nanny. Maybe an attachment parent? No one is talking about ignoring children. We are talking about responding to the whole child in a way that allows them to sleep well and develop basic emotional coping strategies. Not every problem a baby has is best solved by immediately picking them up and carrying them around. Maybe they are frustrated because they want to grab a toy that is just out of reach. Maybe they are impatient and want another bite of food NOW. Maybe they are angry that you wouldn’t let them eat the trash they found on the carpet. Maybe they are scared because they heard a loud roll of thunder. Babies are perfectly capable of experiencing the full gamut of human emotions, and therefore they need a dynamic response that encourages and models pro-social behavior. Crying is communication, and a loving, responsive caregiver engages with that communication, even if it means that the baby cries for a minute or two, instead of shutting down communication and learning by scooping the baby up and distracting them from the problem.

She is not describing parents who want her to engage more. She is describing parents who cannot tolerate the sounds of babies who are experiencing any emotion other than happiness and that is not healthy or helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you finding jobs with parents that work outside of the home during these times? I also make over $65,000 so that is a concern as well as I think about looking for other employment.

You find parents with bigger houses, OP. My employers are both home now too but I never see them! We have a playroom, bedrooms, family room, huge yard, pool and swing set outside.

I’m at around $65k too before bonus and healthcare insurance for two brothers (2.5 and 6 months).

I promise you that you can find much better than what you’re suffering!!

Or look for essential workers (doctors, covid research, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

You can absolutely reinforce negative coping mechanisms and teach babies habits that are incompatible with healthy sleep, resulting in overtired, emotionally sensitive, clingy, grouchy, SPOILED babies! She said they are crawling so these are not newborns who can be held all day. They should be able to be put down but if the parents pick them up the second they fuss about anything, they will whine and cry ALL day because lack of emotional resilience is rewarded.

No, you can't spoil a baby and its neglectful to ignore them. You are paid to provide full time care and that is your only responsibility. My kids didn't whine, cry or fuss all day from being held and attended to and if the ones you work with do, maybe it is your neglect all day that the parents then have to make up for.

Babies who are old enough to crawl can learn patience (and should learn it early in a share). They need time to crawl, to explore and to learn to self-soothe. These are obviously 6-12 month babies, not 0-6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Believe it or not some parents spoiled babies
Rotten don’t want them to cry So you have to pick babies up rock then to sleep
And want to be in a share not thinking about the other selfish

I would go crazy too

You cannot spoil a baby.

You can absolutely reinforce negative coping mechanisms and teach babies habits that are incompatible with healthy sleep, resulting in overtired, emotionally sensitive, clingy, grouchy, SPOILED babies! She said they are crawling so these are not newborns who can be held all day. They should be able to be put down but if the parents pick them up the second they fuss about anything, they will whine and cry ALL day because lack of emotional resilience is rewarded.

No, you can't spoil a baby and its neglectful to ignore them. You are paid to provide full time care and that is your only responsibility. My kids didn't whine, cry or fuss all day from being held and attended to and if the ones you work with do, maybe it is your neglect all day that the parents then have to make up for.

I find it hard to believe you are a nanny. Maybe an attachment parent? No one is talking about ignoring children. We are talking about responding to the whole child in a way that allows them to sleep well and develop basic emotional coping strategies. Not every problem a baby has is best solved by immediately picking them up and carrying them around. Maybe they are frustrated because they want to grab a toy that is just out of reach. Maybe they are impatient and want another bite of food NOW. Maybe they are angry that you wouldn’t let them eat the trash they found on the carpet. Maybe they are scared because they heard a loud roll of thunder. Babies are perfectly capable of experiencing the full gamut of human emotions, and therefore they need a dynamic response that encourages and models pro-social behavior. Crying is communication, and a loving, responsive caregiver engages with that communication, even if it means that the baby cries for a minute or two, instead of shutting down communication and learning by scooping the baby up and distracting them from the problem.

She is not describing parents who want her to engage more. She is describing parents who cannot tolerate the sounds of babies who are experiencing any emotion other than happiness and that is not healthy or helpful.

You are being paid to be attentive to a child. I am far from an attachment parent but what you/they are posting is neglectful. No trash should be on the floor. Your only job is to feed that kid there is no excuse the baby is waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quit if you want. But I think you’ll problems finding a new job. Do you think some wealthy family is going to be impressed you quit your last job because the parents were working from home, the house was too small, and you were upset the parents were picking up crying babies?

If she has years of experience and positive references, she can find a new job without even using them as a reference. She can say she is leaving them because “our discipline style wasn’t a good fit.”

Its a huge red flag if a caretaker says you cannot be around. That's 101 for child abuse.