One bad reference out of four (other three are stellar).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a potential employer, one bad reference out of four likely would not sway me too much.

As a Nanny, I would explain to a potential employer that things didn’t end well w/a certain family & that you decided not to include them as your reference.

Tell them briefly about the situation, making it general + very brief.
Important! ->> Do not speak badly of your ex-bosses at all.
Just say it was not a good match in the end.

A PP suggested you claim the bad family is not available to speak to them, but I wouldn’t encourage you to do this at all.

It sounds a little shady to me.
As if you are intentionally hiding something and/or lying.

Sorry but I disagree.

Your scenario is a best case with an understanding family. A family is going into an interview not knowing this person they may hire to take care of their child. How do you think it honestly sounds if a nanny says, oh it didn’t end well with a particular family, after being with them for 2 years. This nanny gives a brief explanation of why they think it didn’t work. And no matter what they say it’s going to sound like bad mouthing bc it didn’t end well.

You in turn call the family and they give their explanation. What makes you side with the nanny and write off the family if you have other nanny candidates who all have glowing references? Nothing bc she is one of many other nannies you could potentially hire.

Claiming that the family is hard to get in touch with isn’t shady. People work and have busy lives. Some people really are hard to get in touch with.

[Anonymous]

One out of four former employer refs isn’t going to matter. Just tell your potential employer that the bad employer took it very badly when you gave notice.

We all know vindictive, ugly people. And we’ve all had bad bosses, employers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a potential employer, one bad reference out of four likely would not sway me too much.

As a Nanny, I would explain to a potential employer that things didn’t end well w/a certain family & that you decided not to include them as your reference.

Tell them briefly about the situation, making it general + very brief.
Important! ->> Do not speak badly of your ex-bosses at all.
Just say it was not a good match in the end.

A PP suggested you claim the bad family is not available to speak to them, but I wouldn’t encourage you to do this at all.

It sounds a little shady to me.
As if you are intentionally hiding something and/or lying.

Sorry but I disagree.

Your scenario is a best case with an understanding family. A family is going into an interview not knowing this person they may hire to take care of their child. How do you think it honestly sounds if a nanny says, oh it didn’t end well with a particular family, after being with them for 2 years. This nanny gives a brief explanation of why they think it didn’t work. And no matter what they say it’s going to sound like bad mouthing bc it didn’t end well.

You in turn call the family and they give their explanation. What makes you side with the nanny and write off the family if you have other nanny candidates who all have glowing references? Nothing bc she is one of many other nannies you could potentially hire.

Claiming that the family is hard to get in touch with isn’t shady. People work and have busy lives. Some people really are hard to get in touch with.

If a Nanny chooses her words carefully & speaks civilly of her past family, then how is that theoretically speaking ill of them?
We have all had bad bosses, etc.
It is all part of life.

Not everyone is going to spew hatred - - however just because a job ended badly is not an automatic red flag.
People tend to disagree.
It is normal.

Nannies do not like burning bridges just like everyone else doesn’t.
However just because ONE family thinks badly of her is no reason to not hire her.

I wouldn’t reconsider hiring her just because of this.
Plus isn’t it illegal for a previous employer to speak badly of their former employee??
Because everyone would pass them up and they could never find employment for the rest of their lives.
It wouldn’t be fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a potential employer, one bad reference out of four likely would not sway me too much.

As a Nanny, I would explain to a potential employer that things didn’t end well w/a certain family & that you decided not to include them as your reference.

Tell them briefly about the situation, making it general + very brief.
Important! ->> Do not speak badly of your ex-bosses at all.
Just say it was not a good match in the end.

A PP suggested you claim the bad family is not available to speak to them, but I wouldn’t encourage you to do this at all.

It sounds a little shady to me.
As if you are intentionally hiding something and/or lying.

Sorry but I disagree.

Your scenario is a best case with an understanding family. A family is going into an interview not knowing this person they may hire to take care of their child. How do you think it honestly sounds if a nanny says, oh it didn’t end well with a particular family, after being with them for 2 years. This nanny gives a brief explanation of why they think it didn’t work. And no matter what they say it’s going to sound like bad mouthing bc it didn’t end well.

You in turn call the family and they give their explanation. What makes you side with the nanny and write off the family if you have other nanny candidates who all have glowing references? Nothing bc she is one of many other nannies you could potentially hire.

Claiming that the family is hard to get in touch with isn’t shady. People work and have busy lives. Some people really are hard to get in touch with.

If a Nanny chooses her words carefully & speaks civilly of her past family, then how is that theoretically speaking ill of them?
We have all had bad bosses, etc.
It is all part of life.

Not everyone is going to spew hatred - - however just because a job ended badly is not an automatic red flag.
People tend to disagree.
It is normal.

Nannies do not like burning bridges just like everyone else doesn’t.
However just because ONE family thinks badly of her is no reason to not hire her.

I wouldn’t reconsider hiring her just because of this.
Plus isn’t it illegal for a previous employer to speak badly of their former employee??
Because everyone would pass them up and they could never find employment for the rest of their lives.
It wouldn’t be fair.

Life isn’t fair.

A family can say whatever they want. Is the nanny going to try to sue them for defamation? Probably not.

You can claim it isn’t a red flag but in reality, until your are faced with this decision it’s just words.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of reasons why a nanny might not be able to provide a reference. NDA, family moved or changed their phone number, it’s been a long they don’t remember details, etc.