family visit

[Anonymous]

This is really odd and awkward. I can't believe they are acting like that when staying at your house. How long is her mom meant to be there?

I don't know much about Colombian culture. Maybe you were supposed to greet her differently? Or provide food upon arrival (I've heard that is a thing with some cultures).

Maybe try to offer to make a nice American dinner one evening for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invite the AP and her mom to have dinner with you? Rather than confronting the AP about it, I would just take the higher ground and be welcoming.

As much as I love taking the high road most of the time, if i was OP i would love to know why they are acting like that, otherwise you don't learn a thing and may make the same mistake (if any).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite the AP and her mom to have dinner with you? Rather than confronting the AP about it, I would just take the higher ground and be welcoming.

As much as I love taking the high road most of the time, if i was OP i would love to know why they are acting like that, otherwise you don't learn a thing and may make the same mistake (if any).

^^ also AP doesn't learn and might do the same thing again. This is where the culture exchange part of the program kick in, you tell her in the U.S. this is rude and maybe she tell you in Columbia, that is ok (although I doubt that).

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s a cultural thing. Our housekeeper is Colombian and she is absolutely a stickler for saying hello to people and having a conversation, as are the other Colombians I’ve known.

And it’s Colombia, they are not (to my knowledge) graduates of the Ivy League university located in upper Manhattan.

[Anonymous]

Uh no.

I'd corner AP and her mom. Expressly invite them to lunch and gush about how great it is that she could come visit. That you'd love to get to know her. That AP has shared (something) about her culture and home life. Then hand her mom some flowers or chocolate or something to welcome her.

Does her mom not think it's weird that she's basically shutting the door in your face every time you try to say hi?

I'd be very suspicious at this point. Are you sure the woman is her mom? Or maybe there's some lie AP is afraid that you'll catch her in, so she's limiting contact.

I'd start wondering about other things as well... what are the chances your AP will pack up and leave WITH her mom to go home without giving any notice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh no.

I'd corner AP and her mom. Expressly invite them to lunch and gush about how great it is that she could come visit. That you'd love to get to know her. That AP has shared (something) about her culture and home life. Then hand her mom some flowers or chocolate or something to welcome her.

Does her mom not think it's weird that she's basically shutting the door in your face every time you try to say hi?

I'd be very suspicious at this point. Are you sure the woman is her mom? Or maybe there's some lie AP is afraid that you'll catch her in, so she's limiting contact.

I'd start wondering about other things as well... what are the chances your AP will pack up and leave WITH her mom to go home without giving any notice?

OP here. Thanks everyone for your input. I will try to "corner" the mom and AP more. I didn't even think that this woman might not be her mom...hmmmmm....This particular AP is very secretive and I'm glad she is leaving in a month! So yes, there likely is a whole story there.

[Anonymous]

That is bonkers! I’m glad for your sake you only have less than a month.

[Anonymous]

OP, if this AP has been here for most of a year, is this behavior (on her part) normal? Also, did you make any attempt to say hi to the woman? I’m so confused

[Anonymous]

My first thought was "this woman is not her mom."

[Anonymous]

Or she plans to leave when "mom" leaves and you are just hosting until then.